Back To You
by TwilightMomofTwo
Summary: Former high school sweethearts Bella and Edward have a chance encounter after fourteen years apart. Can their love be rebuilt from the ruins of their lives? AH Collab w/ConfettiRainfall. Won 1st Place - Sport of Love Contest on TWCSLibrary, now full story.
1. Against All Odds

**Author's Note: **This is a collaboration oneshot between ConfettiRainfall and myself, and was written for The Writer's Coffee Shop "Sports of Love Challenge." It is also posted on TWCS Library at www dot TWCSLibrary dot com under our pen names.

As always, Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. We don't make any money off this, and we sure as hell don't intend any copyright infringement. We just like to play in the sandbox Ms. Meyer created.

Please note that this is rated M for a reason. If you are under 18, go read elsewhere. This is NOT for you!

Enjoy! Review!

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The Sports of Love Challenge

**Hosted by The Writer's Coffee Shop**

**Name of story: **Back to You

**Pennames: **TwilightMomOfTwo and Confettirainfall

**Category : **Kahlua

**Fandom: **Twilight

They'd been friends since childhood, though they couldn't have been more different. Where Emmett was easy-going and boisterous, Edward remained stoic and silent. In a way, their opposite demeanors complimented each other. Of course, the two of them did have a lot of common ground. For one, they worked for the same company. Both of them enjoyed putting in a day of honest work at whatever construction site they were assigned to, and spent most of their free time on the football field.

"Oh, come on, Eddie. It was just a joke," Emmett said, laughing boisterously.

Edward sneered at Emmett – he hated that particular nickname.

"Emmett, need I remind you that I'm not five," Edward replied snidely, ignoring Emmett's bantering. "We're here to do a job, not have fun," he added in a huff before turning around and walking towards the trailer which constituted the makeshift site office.

"It's no wonder you can't get laid," Emmett muttered. "Maybe if you did, you'd calm down, chill out."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," Edward remarked sarcastically.

That was a typical day, _unless_ Edward was around his nephew. On those occasions and, only then, would Edward's demeanor change. He instantly became carefree, lighthearted and funny; however, the only person who consistently got to see that side of Edward was Jasper. Occasionally, if they were lucky, Emmett and his wife Rosalie, Edward's fraternal twin sister, would also be able to enjoy time with Edward when he was in a more jovial mood. Those moments, however, were few and far between.

Rosalie was convinced the reason for Edward's extreme behavior was because of a girl he'd known back in high school. A shy, quiet beauty named Isabella Swan. He and Bella had dated during all their high school years, and it had been Bella who encouraged Edward to play football. They had been friends for years before they started dating and Edward had been certain she was _the one. _Even when Edward became the school's star wide receiver, when he could have dated any girl of his choosing, Edward only had eyes for Bella.

Unfortunately, upon graduation, Bella broke up with him, ending their long-time friendship, stating they needed to explore new relationships with other people because they were attending different colleges. She claimed she didn't want to hold him back, but Rosalie had been certain it was Bella who wanted to scout out new guys, fresh meat, and she hadn't kept that opinion to herself. Until Edward had finally snapped and told her to never mention Bella's name in his presence again.

Rosalie abided by his wishes, keeping quiet, though it pained her to no end to see her brother in so much silent anguish. Edward knew that, should the opportunity ever arise, Rosalie was determined to have vengeance against the girl who had destroyed her brother's soul.

Even though Edward had been extremely popular at school, he had never been outgoing except for on the football field. However, after losing Bella, he withdrew even more into himself and the only reason he went to college was because Rosalie convinced him that she couldn't go alone. Reluctantly, Edward attended college, played football and earned his degree in civil engineering. He was even scouted by the NFL; though, after suffering several concussions on the field after some vicious tackles, Edward decided to forgo a football career.

At least, that's what he had told Rosalie.

His sister, however, believed that Edward couldn't handle all the attention, especially from women. No matter what she tried, who she set him up with, Edward hadn't been able to have a serious relationship since Bella left him, and eventually Rosalie gave up trying.

It was Edward's love of football and his unconditional love for his nephew which caused him to find himself facing a group of eight year old boys as Emmett's assistant football coach for one of the local community teams. Edward called out each boy's name as he reviewed the registration forms while the boys formed a line, glancing at each one briefly.

Nothing stood out on any of the forms until Edward came across the name of one boy, James Black, whose father was listed as Jacob Black, deceased and his mother, one Isabella Black. Edward cringed at the name, though he chastised himself immediately for the stupid reaction. Certainly there was more than one Isabella in the world. And besides, what were the odds of _his_ Bella Swan ending up back in her home town, married, with a son the same age as Jasper.

As the memories of his first and only love bubbled up inside him, Edward found himself getting angry. He had buried his pain for so long after losing her love that it made him furious now to think of her, married to another, perhaps with a child of her own. She had ruined him for all other women, and he knew he'd never find again what he had back then. His broken heart had never healed. He was unable to form a relationship with another woman, because they only served to remind him of what he had lost. None compared to her.

None ever would.

Forcing himself back into the present, Edward turned his attention to the boy standing in front of him, and took in the chocolate brown eyes and mahogany hair. The boy looked just like her. He knew instantly who the boy's mother was and he immediately felt physically sick, as if he'd been punched in the gut. This should have been _his_ son. _He_ should have been happily married to her. Not this man, Jacob Black.

Sudden jealousy sent a flash fire through his body.

_Damn you. Damn you, Bella Swan, for breaking my heart._

Edward paused as he reminded himself that the boy's father was dead and, suddenly, he felt sorry for the youngster. Regardless of what Edward believed, no child deserved to lose a parent, as he and Rosalie knew from personal experience, having lost their mother to brain cancer when they were fifteen. Bella had been at his side then, her quiet presence supporting him, loving him during some of his darkest hours.

He found himself wondering who had been there for her when she had lost her husband.

"Edward?" Emmett called out.

Hearing his voice brought Edward out of his melancholic contemplations as he reminded himself that even if _his _Bella was the mother of James Black, she was _no longer _his Bella and she hadn't been his for fourteen years.

Edward sighed. "Yes, Emmett?"

"You okay, dude?"

"Yeah, fine," Edward replied as he returned his attention to the next name on the list.

As practice began, Edward couldn't help but notice that, even in his demeanor, the boy was just like Bella. Quiet. Listening intently to the instructions before executing the movements judiciously. There was so much of Bella in this small boy that it only furthered Edward's anguished reminiscence, and he had to carefully compose his face before anyone would notice.

Edward was anxious for practice to conclude. He waited with bated breath for the boys' parents to arrive as he carefully scoured the crowd for James' mother. Edward's breath hitched in his throat when he saw a guy, perhaps in his mid-twenties, approach the boy, a big smile on his face.

"James!"

"Uncle Seth!"

Suddenly Edward's heart felt lighter. Perhaps this was Jacob Black's brother. But, was Bella his mother? Why did he even care? It was old history, wasn't it? So why was he longing to see her? It seemed his heart had already convinced him that she truly was this boy's mother, the one who looked and moved so much like her that it took Edward's breath away.

Edward shook his head at himself and turned, walking toward Emmett when a voice stopped him dead in his tracks. At that moment, ice water seemed to run through his veins instead of blood. Edward would never forget _that _voice, even though he hadn't heard it since the day she said good-bye, and broke his heart.

"Seth! James! I'm sorry I'm late. I got stuck in the office."

Edward's face paled, his heart pounded in his chest, as the huge lump in his throat prevented him from breathing, causing him to gasp for air. Panicking, he tried to convince himself that he was mistaken, that if he dared turn around, he would see a stranger, but somehow he knew that wasn't true. He had listened to that voice and had loved, cherished the face behind that voice for more years than he could recall.

Edward was frozen where he stood, willing himself to turn around, his body refusing to obey, as he heard her sweet, melodic voice again.

"Thanks, Seth. I don't know what I would do without you," she sighed.

"Bella, where else would I be? He's my godson," he said before whispering, "We all miss Jacob."

As soon as Edward heard her name, he was unable to stand still, the instant longing overpowering his fear as a tugging sensation deep within his core answered some silent call from _her_. Without wanting to, without meaning to, he spun around on his heels. He gasped as he saw her mahogany hair while she pushed a strand behind her ear, her profile coming into view for the first time since he was eighteen.

Edward thought about all the things he wanted to say, all the things he wanted to do, as he took his first step toward her when he heard another voice.

"Hey, Edward." Emmett had the worst timing ever.

Edward tried to quickly turn around before she could see him, but somehow she seemed to move quicker than any human should as he found her milk chocolate orbs staring into his emerald green eyes for the first time since she had left him. He watched as her mouth gaped open, her lips moving slightly, but no words sprang forth. He was surprised that his heart hadn't escaped through his ribcage as it pounded in his chest, trying to sprout wings and fly – to her.

No matter what she had done, no matter how many years it had been, Edward was certain of three things. First, he still loved her. Second, he would only ever love her and third, he had already forgiven her for leaving him. He didn't know when or how her husband had died, and it didn't really matter, except for the pain that it must have caused her. All Edward knew was that Bella was presumably single, and that he needed her in his life, in whatever capacity she would allow. He had let too many years pass him by not to let this chance meeting be a new starting point. If she couldn't love him, perhaps she'd consent to be his friend.

For now.

Bella simply stared at Edward, unable to speak. She hadn't consciously thought about Edward Masen in years. However, he'd show up in her subconscious during her dreams, quite often if she was honest with herself. She forced herself to ignore, forget those dreams night after night, week after week, year after year, but she knew she would never forget him. Not even after she had met Jacob.

Although she had loved Jacob enough to marry him and have his son, she knew that she would never truly love anyone the way she loved Edward Masen. She had hoped by giving Edward the opportunity to thrive in college, allowing him to focus on football instead of her, he would become the football player she knew he could be. She had broken her own heart by leaving him, for him to have that chance, knowing that he would hold back for her unless she forced him into that option. After they broke up, she had covertly followed any news about him that she could find. For some reason, although he'd had quite a remarkable college football career, he never pursued anything at the professional level. She'd heard rumors that he had been scouted by several NFL teams, but had turned them all down.

Bella had thought about calling Edward many times, even going so far as to call Rosalie once, but had lost the courage to speak once Rosalie answered the phone. Bella sighed, knowing that she would never be able to take back the words that had escaped her mouth all those years ago even though the horrendous conversation reverberated in her mind nearly every day since she had spoken those malicious lies.

"_Edward, we need to explore, find ourselves."_

"_Bella, I know who I am, what I want to be."_

"_Well, maybe I need to learn what I can become."_

"_I know who you are and who you'll be. You're the love of my life. You're my reason for living and one day you'll be my wife."_

_That's when she spoke the lie that shredded both her heart and his._

"_Edward, I need some space. I don't know if I'm truly good for you, if you're good for me."_

"_What are you saying?"_

"_I think we need to see other people."_

Bella recalled the gut-wrenching expression that came over Edward's face as she tried to steady her lips before they started trembling as she continued looking into his eyes. Those eyes had haunted her, turning from a bright green to a dull hazel, as she watched the life drain from his face. She'd averted her eyes down to her hands, unable to watch the pain that flashed across his face, knowing that she had inflicted it on him, knowing she was breaking his heart. Even if it was for his own good.

Bella shook her head, trying to bring herself back to the here and now, as she looked up and saw his bronze hair, his chiseled jaw line and his slightly crooked smile. Even though he had matured, she was amazed at how magnificent he had become. The years had been good to him as she reminded herself that it in fact had been years. At that instant she was unable to stop herself from thinking about what his wife looked like, what career path he had chosen and whether any of these boys were his.

Bella felt her stomach cramping and her heart twisting in her chest. No matter how hard she tried, she was unable to turn away from him. All her attempts to call out for him left her speechless and she was sure she looked like a fish as her mouth opened and closed silently. After what seemed like an eternity, Bella saw Edward walk toward her. His eyes were a bright green, the emerald color she loved so much, and they seemed to be sparkling. She recognized the look and her heart shattered a little more knowing that those eyes weren't hers any longer.

"Bella," Edward spoke quietly as she found him standing in front of her, his arm outstretched towards her. "It's been too long."

Of course he would remind her of that. It was just enough of a dig to help her regain her senses. Regardless, she would not be rude as he apparently would be James' coach.

Bella extended her hand and Edward quickly grabbed it. Immediately she was stunned by the electricity that seemed to flow from his hand through hers, traveling up her arm, until the tingling sensations found their way to her chest. Instantly she recalled experiencing those vibrations each and every time Edward had touched her all those years ago. She was unable to hold back a gasp as she returned her gaze from their intertwined hands to his captivating eyes.

Edward could not remove his gaze from Bella's breathtaking face. He had gone too long without seeing her beauty and even has he held her hand, the overwhelming yearnings began to stir within him once more. When he heard her gasp, he was certain that she, too, had felt the mysterious current that always seemed to pass between them, each and every time they touched. Apparently, that was one thing that had not changed over the course of the years, causing him to wonder what else might have remained the same.

Bella had remained quiet and he couldn't help but wonder why. He desperately needed to hear her voice again as he pondered over what could have caused her silence. Finally, as he slowly released Bella's hand, she spoke.

"Uh, yes. It has," she mumbled nervously.

It occurred to Edward that although he was aware that James' father had died, he was not certain whether or not Bella was currently in a relationship. Yet, somehow, he was certain she wasn't. Knowing Bella as he did, he was fairly confident that she would not have sought the companionship of another, too concerned with the needs of her child and everyone else around her, always so quick to ignore her own needs. And, of course, she had no way of knowing that even after all these years he remained available, unattached, alone. As all the feelings came rushing back in waves, he knew that he could not let her leave without at least attempting to speak with her privately as he succumbed to the urgency to tell her that he had never loved another.

"Would you like to have a drink this evening, or, perhaps, a cup of coffee?" Edward suggested, as he was consumed by the urge to touch the soft skin of her face, to cradle her delicate cheeks in the palms of his hands. Not once since that dreadful day had his body responded to a woman as he now yearned for Bella. He prayed to anyone, any entity who might listen, that she would accept his invitation as he watched her look from her son, to the man he assumed was her brother-in-law and back to him.

"Seth?" Bella spoke quietly. "Would you mind taking James home? I won't be long."

Edward cringed inside as he considered the possibility that Bella did not really want to spend time with him, but was, perhaps, just being polite. He understood she had obligations, but after so many years he had hoped that she missed him as much as he did her. Edward promptly ridiculed himself for being such a fool. Why had he allowed himself to get his hopes up? He tried to keep his expression calm, but was unable to stop the scowl that momentarily contorted his face.

"Edward, are you okay?" she asked, concern evident in her voice.

He blinked, doing his best to relax the grimace he felt, before answering.

"Yes, fine. Are you ready to go?"

"Umm, I have my car. Where shall I meet you?" Bella inquired almost hesitantly.

Unwilling to even let her get in her own car, Edward thought for a moment, dismissing the noisy tavern around the corner for the quiet coffee shop down the block.

"There's a nice place within walking distance if you'd like to go there. I'd be more than happy to escort you back to your car when you're ready to leave. It seems silly to drive when we're so close. And the weather is still nice enough for a walk...," Edward replied as casually as possible.

It was clearly obvious that she was reluctant, but after a moment of contemplation, Bella agreed.

As Edward looked around, he realized the field was empty, Emmett having left without saying a word. Had Emmett recognized Bella? Edward hoped that Emmett would keep his mouth shut and not mention anything to Rosalie. She would be furious and _that _was a conversation Edward did not want to have with his sister any time soon.

As they walked toward the parking lot, a staggering desire to take Bella's hand in his took hold of Edward. He was about to reach out when he thought better of it. He didn't want to rush her and, possibly ruin the second chance they had been given, yet the urges he felt deep inside to pull her soft, supple body against his was nearly more than he could take.

While he had never loved anyone other than Bella, he had from time to time permitted Rosalie to set him up on dates with one model or another. He had learned quickly that all he had to do was smile and women seemed to drop their panties for him. It was not something he was proud of, but there were moments when the constant loneliness became too much and he just needed to feel a woman's body even if in his mind it was Bella he was coupling with.

A few years after Bella left, Edward had found himself on a blind date with a nice girl, Tanya Kaminski, and as things progressed, he felt that maybe this relationship could actually go somewhere. However, the first night he'd stayed over Tanya's place, Bella's name fell from his lips as he climaxed. Not surprisingly, that was the end of anything he might have had with Tanya. After that fiasco, he had never tried again, reluctantly taking to one night stands, instead. He always used protection, never had sex while drunk, and all of them were blonde and statuesque. Never brunette. Never one whose hair or figure might remind him of Bella. Those were his rules.

Before either of them realized it, they found themselves at the coffee shop. Neither had spoken to the other while they walked, both too nervous and apprehensive to find the right words. As anxious as they were, they were equally afraid to pass up the opportunity they had been given. Edward held the door open for Bella as they entered the coffee shop and smiled. Bella smiled back. Before thinking, Edward placed a hand on the small of her back and, when she didn't pull away, he found himself from grinning ear to ear.

After they had ordered and gotten their coffee, Bella found herself intrigued by the man sitting in front of her. Although she had known him for many years, they had not been in contact since she left him and she wondered what made him tick. In many ways he seemed the same as he had been during high school, but Bella could also detect a subtle sadness that seemed to surround him. She needed to learn about him, how he had been and what he'd been doing. Had he ever married? Was he divorced? Could he have remained single? That was something she found hard to believe. Edward had become a magnificently handsome man and she was certain he had women falling over themselves around him.

As Bella sipped her coffee, she thought about whether or not Edward had seen James' enrollment form listing his father as deceased. She wanted to tell Edward what had happened, but it was too soon so she decided to break the silence with some small talk.

"What have you been up to?" she asked quietly.

"Not much, you know, work," Edward mumbled nervously, wondering what had come over him.

"I saw Emmett at the field. How is he?" Bella inquired.

"Good, he's good. He needed an assistant coach for Jasper's team, so apparently I'm it," he chuckled.

"Jasper?" Bella looked confused.

"My nephew, Emmett and Rosalie's son," Edward replied, almost choking on his coffee. He knew Rose would find out that Bella's son was on their team and was almost afraid for Bella. Almost. A small part of him looked forward to that showdown, should it ever occur.

"How is Rose?" Bella hesitantly asked, fiddling with her napkin. She hadn't seen Edward's sister since the breakup and Bella was certain Rosalie hated her.

"Umm, she's good. Still models every now and then, but mainly enjoys being a mom."

Edward laughed as he saw the shocked expression on Bella's face.

"Yeah, it's hard to imagine, but she's really great with Jasper," Edward said laughingly.

Bella looked up at him, trying to smile, but suddenly her heart wasn't in it. She had not been out with a man since Jacob's accident, and for some reason she felt guilty. She knew there was no reason for the guilt, but she was having a hard time, concerned what James would ask her when she got home. Regardless of her hesitation, she realized that perhaps she had been given a second chance with Edward and she didn't want it to go to waste.

"What about you? Any kids?" Bella murmured. She wasn't usually so forward, but she had to know who and what occupied Edward's life.

"No," Edward replied sadly. "No kids. No wife, or girlfriend, either." The words sounded harsh, more bitter than he'd expected. Edward sighed.

"Oh," was all Bella could say. Suddenly the years apart seemed to disappear and all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him. Although she mourned the death of her husband, seeing Edward looking so sad took her back to the day she'd left. Somehow she would make it up to him, if he'd let her.

Edward looked out the coffee shop window. Why had he admitted how lonely he was? Because he was an idiot. Bella had moved on, but he had not. Could he be any more pathetic?

"Ready to go?" he asked, feeling awkward by the entire situation. It was getting late and he assumed she needed to get home.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said, staring down at her empty cup.

They walked in silence back toward the field, neither knowing what to say, but not wanting the night to end.

Edward wanted nothing more than to take Bella home, have a drink and an honest talk about what had happened. He wanted to understand why she had left and he was tired of the anger. Somehow he knew they had been given another chance, but until they discussed what had occurred in their past, they wouldn't be able to move forward.

"Edward, where is your car?" Bella asked, bringing him back to the present.

"Actually, it's right here," he stated, pointing to his 1969 Ford Mustang Mach I Fastback. Emmett had helped Edward rebuild the engine and eventually restored the body. This car was his pride and joy – the one possession Edward had after Bella left him that brought him pleasure.

As they walked over to his car, he thought about how great she would look sitting in it. He couldn't help but admire her slender figure even through the scrubs she was wearing and he found himself smiling as he pictured Bella _without _her work uniform. As memories of the moments they had shared during high school blazed through his mind, he instantly felt a twitching in the lower part of his body. Edward found himself frowning, wondering how many men might have had similar reactions to Bella's beauty and how many she had been intimate with. He shook his head, trying desperately to dispel the thoughts that had begun to consume him.

"Nice car," Bella said, bringing him out of his reverie. "It suits you well," she continued with a smirk.

Edward wondered what that look was for. "Thanks," he replied before turning and looking at the handful of cars that remained in the lot.

"Which one is yours?" Edward asked.

"The minivan," Bella replied. "I know, soccer mom," she said rolling her eyes.

"No, football mom," Edward joked as Bella smiled.

Suddenly images of Edward playing football rushed through her mind as she recalled the nights _after_ those games. She could remember the scent of sweat and testosterone that had radiated off him after a game. It had been an aphrodisiac to her and their wild, passion-filled romps were still firmly lodged in her memories.

Bella was stunned by the intensity of the feelings that were stirring within her. She knew if she didn't get away from Edward immediately, it was likely she'd do something she might possibly regret later.

"I guess I better get home," Bella sighed.

"Sure," Edward said as the need to take Bella's hand trumped his rational thought. Feeling her soft, supple skin brought to the surface every desire, yearning he had suppressed for years and the proximity to her body was overwhelming. He waited for Bella to pull away, but she didn't.

"Come on," he said. "I'll walk you to your car."

Bella nodded and smiled. As they walked the distance of the parking lot in comfortable silence, Bella realized she no longer felt guilty as she held Edward's strong, warm hand in hers.

Before they departed for the evening, they exchanged phone numbers. Edward promised to call Bella after work the next day before watching her drive away, as he felt his heart once again leaving with her.

Upon Bella's arrival at home, she braced herself for the barrage of questions she knew was coming.

"Seth, James, I'm home," Bella called out nervously.

"Mom! We're in my room," James yelled excitedly.

Bella was certain he and Seth were playing one of James' video games as she chuckled quietly. Seth was such a kid at heart. Just like Jake. A tear trickled down her cheek as the house suddenly felt very cold, more so than usual. She thought about her feelings for Edward and the reasons she had left him. They had seemed such a good idea at the time, but looking back she couldn't help but wonder if that one decision had turned out to be the greatest mistake of her life.

Bella shook her had as she walked up the stairs. No matter how much she hurt herself or Edward, there was no way she could ever regret marrying Jake if for no other reason than because of James. He was the light of her life.

As Bella approached James' room, Seth walked out. James had already gotten ready for bed.

"Good night, sweetheart," she said to her son before kissing him on the forehead.

"Night, Mom," he replied, yawning.

Bella was relieved James had gone to sleep. She wasn't ready to discuss anything with him. However, she knew she wouldn't be so lucky with Seth. Making her way down to the kitchen, she stopped upon hearing Seth's voice.

"Bella, it's not really my business, but who was that guy?"

A part of Bella wanted to tell Seth to take a hike, but she understood his concern, especially when it came to James.

"He's just an old friend, that's all," she said.

"Is that so?" Seth asked, looking at her in disbelief. "Come on Bella. Level with me. I saw the way you two looked at each other. That's not the look of casual friendship."

"Seth, Jake being gone is hard on all of us, but I'm not dead," Bella replied in a huff. "And, yes, he is just an old friend. Can we leave it at that?"

Seth looked disapprovingly at Bella and she felt uneasy. She didn't want Seth to hate Edward, but right now she didn't have the energy to deal with it. She wasn't even sure if there was anything to be concerned about.

"Fine, but would you just be honest with me? I worry about you and James," Seth replied cautiously.

"Of course. If and I mean _if_ there's anything to tell, we'll talk. I miss Jake, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone," Bella said sadly.

Seth left a few minutes later and Bella spent the rest of the evening and all night thinking and dreaming of Edward.

Edward was preoccupied with Bella from the moment she'd driven away, unable to stop thinking about her as he slept. To say the dreams were erotic would have been an understatement. As he drove to work the following morning, he was anxious to see Emmett, wondering what he might have mentioned to Rose.

The job site was so busy that they didn't have an opportunity to talk until lunch and by the look on Emmett's face, Edward knew he was in trouble.

"So, seems you found Bella Swan," Emmett said slyly.

"Mind your own business, Emmett," Edward scowled.

"Talk with me or talk with Rose. It's your choice," Emmett scoffed.

"Emmett, it was the first time I've laid eyes on her in over fourteen years. Her son's on the team and we're the coaches. That's it. End of story," Edward replied with a huff.

"Dude, I'm not stupid. I saw how you looked at her. You've never gotten over her and I don't want you to go through that again."

"I haven't heard from Rose so I'm assuming you didn't mention anything to her," Edward said hesitantly.

"I'm not even going there. You know she's going to flip her lid. If Rose ever sees Bella, she's going to chew her up and spit her out. It's not going to be pretty," Emmett said, shaking his head.

"I'll deal with my sister," Edward replied angrily. "If Bella and I are getting the opportunity to start over, Rose will _not_ interfere."

"Good luck with that," Emmett chuckled.

By the end of the day Edward could hardly rein in his anticipation as he ran to his car, pulled out his phone and called Bella.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bella. It's Edward. Are you home?"

"Yes, today was one of my off days. I only work three days a week unless there's an emergency," Bella replied happily.

Edward was silent for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. He didn't want to invite himself over because he assumed her son was home. He was about to invite her to dinner for the following night when Bella beat him to the punch.

"Would you like to come over?" she asked quietly.

"Are you sure that's okay, I mean with James?" Edward didn't want to cause a scene. He knew how he'd felt when his mother died and he didn't want to interfere with James' and Bella's relationship.

"He's actually having dinner with his grandparents tonight," Bella replied. "He won't be home until seven-thirty or eight."

"In that case, would you like to have dinner tonight?" Edward asked, his heart racing as his pulse pounded in his ears.

"I'd like that very much," she replied quickly, agreeing to meet at the restaurant.

Fifteen minutes later, Edward and Bella found themselves face to face once again. Some of the anxiety and apprehension from the previous night had dissipated, so they enjoyed a quiet meal together as they slowly became reacquainted.

As they ate, they discussed what they'd done during their long absence and by the time they were ready to leave, both felt a little more relaxed. They still hadn't discussed exactly why Bella had left, but that would happen eventually. They walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand, making their way to Bella's car as she used her remote to unlock the door. She turned to him as he leaned against the car and felt herself drowning in his eyes, gazing at her softly. Neither of them spoke.

Edward's hand came up slowly and brushed against her cheek, cupping her face. Bella's breath hitched in her throat as the heat from his hand seemed to seep directly into her skin. Edward's eyes dropped to her mouth. Bella licked her lips nervously. Inside her, a fire began to burn. Before she could form a rational thought, she closed the distance between them, pinning Edward against the car and crushing her mouth to his. Edward was shocked, but only for a moment, as the feel of her soft lips overwhelmed him and he began to return the kiss. He swept his tongue across her bottom lip, and invaded her mouth as she gasped. Their tongues battled feverishly. Passion flared just like it always had between them.

Bella's hands wound into his hair, pulling at the strands as she crushed herself closer to him, lining her body up to his from head to toe. She couldn't get close enough, panting in his mouth, wrapping her legs around his. Edward's body reacted instantaneously, his suddenly throbbing erection pressing into her stomach. Both moaned at the contact. One of his hands cupped the back of her neck, the other grasped her waist, pulling her closer still. Edward's heart pounded, his breathing erratic and he could almost envision being surrounded by the softness and heat of Bella's supple body, sheathed within her, losing himself. It had been so long, so lonely without her.

Down the road, a car honked, and Edward suddenly remembered where they were and how very wrong this situation was. They were moving much too fast.

"Bella," he panted against her mouth as he gently pushed her back. "Bella...we have to stop. We can't do this here."

His dick throbbed painfully in the confines of his pants, and though he wanted nothing more than to consume this beloved woman in his arms, he couldn't do it there, not in the parking lot, not after all this time. They both deserved better, and he deserved to know why she had left him all those years ago before he took this any further.

Tears welled up in her eyes, shame consuming her as Bella assumed Edward was rejecting her. Before Edward realized what was happening, Bella had twisted out of his arms, reaching for the door and yanking it open with such force that it nearly knocked him to the ground. Faster than seemed humanly possible, Edward reached for her before she was able to enter the car, grabbing one of her wrists and swinging her around so she was once again facing him. Her passionate reaction had given him hope, and he was not willing to let her run from him again.

"Let me go," she sobbed, struggling against his grip on her arm. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Please don't be angry."

"Bella, it was just unexpected," Edward said, a small smile gracing his lips. "Nothing would make me happier, but you've been through too much. Let's take this slow, shall we?"

As her tear-stained face lifted to his, Edward pulled Bella against his chest, rubbing her back and placing tender kisses on the top of her head. After a few minutes, as her breathing returned to a more normal rhythm, Edward lifted her chin up so he could look into her eyes.

"Are you ready to go?" he whispered lovingly.

Bella nodded as Edward hugged her again and placed another soft, gentle kiss on her lips. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded once more before she got into the car and he gently closed the door. He waited until she had pulled out of the parking lot before he made his way to his own car, a wide smile on his face. For the first time in years, he felt hopeful. Suddenly, the future looked much brighter.

Bella couldn't wait to get out of work the next day because James had football practice and she was going to see Edward. It was clear from their behavior the night before, that both of them still had feelings for the other. Bella was a little nervous, mostly because Seth would be there, and she didn't want him to cause a scene. Her brother-in-law was a little too protective for his own good. Add that to the possibility that Rosalie would be there, and Bella had reason to feel a little jittery. Although Edward may have forgiven her, Bella was sure that Rosalie had not.

Practice was almost over by the time she arrived, but she was still able to see James play. Bella smiled as she thought about her son; she loved him so much. She knew no one could take Jacob's place in her son's heart, but she hoped that one day Edward and James could become great friends.

She watched Edward as he coached, happiness evident on his face. When he spotted her in the stands, he grinned and waved. Bella was unable to remove her eyes from his long, lean, muscular body, his sweat-drenched shirt clinging to his chiseled chest. She was transported back to her senior year of high school, remembering how Edward's body moved sinuously as he ran, reached for and caught nearly every football that was thrown his way. She recalled how his body had moved over hers when they made love, powerful, hard, sinewy.

Bella had been lost in her thoughts when she heard James.

"Hey, Mom!" he called out, waving wildly, a huge smile on his face.

Bella stood up, waving back as she caught sight of the tall boy with blond, wavy hair, standing next to James. Based on looks alone, that had to be Emmett and Rosalie's son, Jasper McCarty.

She chanced a look around and was met with the icy stare of Rosalie's blue eyes. Bella flinched and hurried directly toward James.

She felt Rosalie's hateful glare on her back, but she didn't want to make a scene in front of her son, so she quickly ran to Seth, begging him to take James home, promising to explain everything later. He started to object, but then nodded as he observed a very angry, tall, blond woman storming toward Bella.

"I'll be home soon, okay?" Bella said to James who appeared anxious as he looked from his mother to Jasper and the woman who seemed to be stalking Bella. Seth quickly pulled James away towards the car. "Come on, buddy..."

She didn't want him to hear whatever Rosalie had to say. She really didn't think Jasper should hear it either, but Bella had no way of shielding him from his own mother's outburst. Bella was relieved when she heard Emmett's deep voice.

"Jasper, come help me put the equipment away, okay, son?" Emmett looked at Bella with mixed emotions.

With both her son and Rose's son out of harm's way, Bella stood and faced her former friend.

"So, you're alive," Rosalie said mockingly. "That's too bad."

Bella knew a confrontation with Rosalie would be unpleasant, but she had never considered the possibility that Rosalie would wish her dead. Searing spasms of pain ripped through her chest at the thought of what her leaving had so obviously done to Edward and his family. She looked at Rosalie, ready to face her penance, but couldn't help glancing at Edward for a moment. He had noticed the commotion and was currently running towards them, a grimace on his face.

"No," Rosalie said angrily as she followed Bella's eyes.

"He will not come to your rescue. _This _is between you and me," Rosalie gestured, poking her finger into Bella's chest before pointing back to herself.

"I . . . I don't need him to –" Bella stuttered, unprepared for Rosalie's outburst.

"That's right, you didn't. _You_ left him alone, broken and I had to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart," Rosalie spat out bitterly. "You will _not _have the opportunity to do it again."

Bella had always known how protective the Masen siblings were of each other, but had never realized how much hatred Rose actually felt toward her. She was stunned, not sure what to say. How could she ever have a relationship with Edward if his family hated her? They were such a big part of his life. All she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and disappear. Perhaps it would have been better if they had not become reacquainted.

Bella sighed.

"Rose," she said.

"_Don't_ you 'Rose' me. You are _not_ a friend. You are not even good enough to be the dirt on the bottom of my shoe. You stay away from my brother, you fucking bitch!" Rosalie roared.

Bella stood in stunned silence when Edward reached them.

"Rose, shut the hell up," he said firmly. "I know you're just looking out for me, but this has nothing to do with you. It's none of your concern."

Rosalie looked surprised by her brother's outburst, but deep down she knew that he would forgive Bella anything. He had been in love with her since the first day he'd laid eyes on her. Rosalie honestly couldn't recall a time when Bella Swan hadn't been a part of their lives, until she abandoned Edward after high school.

"None of my concern?" she shrieked. "I've stood by and watched you walk around like the living dead for fourteen years! She ruined you for every other woman," Rosalie choked back a sob. She didn't want Bella to see how much her actions had not only affected Edward, but Rosalie as well.

Edward walked up to his sister and pulled her into a loving embrace. He knew his sister loved him and he adored her, but somehow he had to make her understand. Edward stepped back, still holding onto Rosalie's shoulders.

"Rose, I owe you so much," Edward said quietly. "I would never have survived the past fourteen years without you, but this is _my_ choice. If Bella wants to be a part of my life, she can have me – any part of me."

Edward leaned forward and kissed his sister on the forehead even as she frowned at him.

Rosalie was still fuming. She shook her head as she started to say something to Edward, but decided against it.

Edward dropped his hands from off Rose's shoulders and walked over to Bella, taking her hands in his. As he raised them up to his lips, he lowered his head, kissing each one of her knuckles gently before returning his gaze to her beautiful milk chocolate eyes. Slowly he dropped one hand, placed an arm around her waist and kept her other hand securely in his as he escorted her to where Rosalie stood.

"Rosalie," Edward said quietly. "You don't have to love her. You don't even have to like her, but I will not tolerate you speaking ill of her, at least not in front of us."

Us – the word slid off his tongue so easily. He looked over at Bella and smiled.

"I think we need to talk," he whispered into her ear.

Bella nodded.

"Would you like to come over?" he asked.

"Yes. Just let me call Seth first, okay?" Bella replied hesitantly.

"Absolutely, love."

A short while later, Bella and Edward sat on his couch, facing each other, her stomach churning as she explained why she'd left, laying out her reasons, begging him to understand that she had wanted the world for him, and thought that by staying with her, she would only hold him back. At first, Edward was angry that she had made this decision for both of them, but in the end, he knew that no matter how angry he was, they wouldn't get this time back, and all they could do now was make the best of what they'd been given. She was here now, and that was what mattered.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am," Bella whispered finally as Edward caressed her tear-stained face.

"I just wish you would have talked to me," he replied as Bella placed her hand over his, leaning her face into his touch.

Suddenly the years of yearning for each other overpowered them as the desire that pulsed through their bodies was more than either of them could stand.

Their eyes locked, and the mirrored desire in Edward's gaze took Bella's breath away. He hadn't changed clothes yet, the musky scent of his sweat saturating his shirt, and Bella was reminded yet again how much that used to arouse her – and still did.

Edward recognized the hunger in Bella's eyes, and with a groan, he closed the distance and clutched her to him. Their lips met in a searing kiss, and fourteen years of separation faded into nothingness. His hands feverishly roamed down her back, tugging her shirt from her pants, as their tongues battled for dominance, Bella's sweet breath caressing his face. His muffled moan set her off, and she dipped her fingers under his shirt, scrunching it up his back.

He released her for a moment to rip the shirt off, then dove back in to claim her lips. Bella's hands traced across his chest, playing with his nipples. A husky moan tore from his mouth, only to be swallowed by her frenzied lips.

"Edward..."

Bella moaned as she pushed him back into the couch and straddled his legs, grinding her molten core against his throbbing hard-on. His hands went to cup her perfect ass, never breaking the kiss, and pulled her closer against him. His hips bucked up and Bella's gasp spurred him on. He bucked again as she pushed down against his bulging length and threw her head back, releasing his mouth. Edward's lips attacked her pale throat, licking and sucking on the sensitive skin behind her ear. A sobbing cry left her lips.

"Oh...Edward...I need you."

Edward scooted forward on the couch and stood up, his hands lifting Bella with him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled his face back to hers, as he stumbled for his bedroom. Blindly, he searched for the handle and pushed the door open, not stopping until he reached his bed.

He fell forward upon her when his knees hit the edge of the bed, catching himself on his arms, running his lips down her throat and down the vee of her shirt. Shifting onto his knees, he moved his trembling hands to the hem of her shirt, searching her eyes for assurance.

Bella smiled as she lifted herself up so he could remove the shirt. Edward's eyes roamed over her chest, her soft mounds barely hidden underneath the blue lace of her bra. His hands fumbled for the clasp behind her back, and he pulled the offending garment off her shoulders. It joined her shirt on the floor.

Reverently, unable to believe that he had been given this second chance, he ran his hands over and around the silky pale skin of her breast, her nipples peaking against his fingers. Bella's nails dug into his arms and her back arched. Edward lowered his head and flatted his tongue against one of the stiffened tips. Moaning at the taste, so familiar, so very Bella, he swirled his tongue around and closed his lips over it, sucking her nipple into his mouth, laving, nipping, remembering.

Bella mewled underneath him, her fingers dancing down his torso, tugging on his shorts, her legs coming up to his sides until her feet reached the top of his gym shorts and began pushing them down. He swiftly kicked off his shoes, toed off his socks, and shed his pants. His erection dug into her thigh as she pulled him back down, and lifted her hips towards him. He quickly helped her out of her scrub pants and pulled her panties tantalizingly slow down her legs, allowing himself to marvel at the drenched folds and the treasure that lay beneath.

Strong arms lifted her and moved her further up the bed, with Edward's hard body covering half of her almost immediately. His hand stroked her stomach, circling lower and lower until he reached the soft patch of curls at the apex of her thighs, her arousal glistening in the muted light. He captured her lips in another forceful kiss, as his fingers slowly parted her wetness and dipped into the heat of her slit, searching for her opening, entering the hot cavern. He pumped his fingers a few times, curling them to stroke the hidden spot within. Bella hummed against his mouth, and Edward groaned at the sensation.

He moved his head lower, parting her folds and licked up her slit in one sure stroke.

"Shit," Bella moaned huskily. "You never..."

Edward smiled against her heat, then dove back in and sucked her clit into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the swollen nub until Bella whimpered underneath him, her stomach muscles clenching, her fingers pulling on his hair, pushing him down between her legs. He thrust his tongue into her pussy as far as he could, feeling the walls contract, and she came with his name on her lips, the sweet juices of her release flooding his mouth. He swallowed convulsively, relishing the taste. In all their time together, he had never dared to put his mouth on her.

He had dared now. There was not a part of her that he didn't want to possess, want to touch, want to taste.

She lay panting, her chest heaving, flushed and Edward thought that he had never seen her look more beautiful. He moved up her body and lay down beside her, his leg between hers, pulling her face to him for another deep and passionate kiss.

Bella could taste herself on his lips, and it increased her arousal tenfold, making her bold. Her small, hot hand gripped his now painful shaft, swiftly rubbing the pre-cum over the head with her thumb, lubricating the hardened length, and she began firmly stroking up and down.

"Fuck, Bella," he gasped into her mouth, his hands fisting in the sheets.

Edward came undone. He quickly moved between Bella's legs, lifted her knees with his hands and with one powerful stroke pushed fully into the slick sheath of her sex. Bella gasped loudly at the intensity of being filled to the hilt, arching up to him, but Edward gave her no time to catch her breath, pulling out and pushing back in, setting a fast, hard rhythm. Their eyes locked for a moment, and then Bella's head fell back, her lids closing from the ecstasy he was inciting in her.

His hips slapped against her skin, harder, faster, pounding into her, and the pain, the anguish, the broken pieces of fourteen lonely years, left his body until all he could feel was the strong grasp of her inner muscles surrounding his hard length, her scent engulfing him, her arms wrapped around his neck.

Bella met him thrust for thrust, lifting her hips in the same rhythm, and with each powerful stroke, sucking him deeper and deeper until neither knew where one ended and the other began. She was panting, moaning, losing her mind, and somewhere deep inside, she realized that leaving him had been the very worst mistake of her life. She could finally admit to herself that living without him had been but a half-life, dulled by the pain of losing him.

She wound her arms further around his neck, pulling him down towards her, as he sped up his movements, curling his hands around her shoulders, robbing her mouth of breath. He sunk his head into her neck, feeling the coil build in his stomach, his balls tightened and he knew he couldn't last much longer.

"Bella," he panted, "so good, so...ungh...tight...so hot..."

Bella trembled in his arms, her climax fast approaching, her senses overwhelmed by the salty scent of his skin, the punishing pace he was setting within her, and the strength of the man that surrounded her. With each stroke, he hit that sensitive spot deep inside, and she could feel the tingling electricity come to a peak until the waves crested and she fell over the edge.

"Edward...unngh...more...I...oh fuck...I'm...," she nearly screamed. "Please, Edward... oh...oh...ooohhh...noooow..."

Her muscles clamped down hard around his throbbing dick as her orgasm tore through her body with a force she had never known before.

"Bella...Bella...yes...shit...I...unnggh...fuck..." With a muffled shout, Edward exploded inside her, his cum spurting in pulses, as her inner walls milked him until he collapsed on top of her, breathing rapidly. She clutched at him, panting for breath, tears streaming down her face. They didn't move for a few moments.

Edward lifted his head and saw the streaks on her cheeks. "No...oh no, sweetheart, don't cry. Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, Bella, please don't cry."

She smiled through her tears. "No, Edward, you didn't hurt me. I'm...I'm okay...no, I'm much better than okay. For the first time in fourteen years, I feel like I can really breathe."

He laughed softly, relieved at her words. "Yes. I think I know how you feel. Like this weight has been lifted from me. I can feel my heart again."

She stroked his hair. "I'm so sorry," she whispered sadly. "How can you ever forgive me?"

"You're here now," he answered simply.

"I don't deserve you."

"Yes," he disagreed. "Yes, you do. I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too," she answered with a sigh.

He rolled onto his back and pulled her with him. Twice more that night, they reaffirmed their love with gentle movements, passionate embraces and soft whispers.

As Edward awoke the next morning, he couldn't believe how drastically his life had changed and he knew exactly what he was going to do as he tenderly caressed Bella's sleeping form.

"Bella," he whispered in her ear, gently kissing the side of her face. "Wake up, love."

"Edward?" Bella mumbled, stretching as his eyes gazed longingly at her exquisite body.

"Sweetheart, we need to talk," he said softly.

"What?" Bella asked fearfully as she sat up.

"Calm down," Edward chuckled. "Nothing's wrong. It's just –"

Bella watched Edward as he nervously fiddled with the sheet.

"Look, I know it's soon, probably too soon, but I feel like we've wasted so much time already. I don't – I _can't _wait any longer. I'm ready; I have been for a very long time."

Edward paused as he gazed lovingly into Bella's eyes.

"I'll understand if you're not and I'll wait until you are, but...I need you to know how I feel...Bella, I love you. I've always loved you and I will love you until the day I die. For fourteen years, I was lost without you. I'm not willing to wait another minute to tell you that I need you. Marry me. Please."

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End Note:

So there you have it. Review, please. Let me know if you think it's worth extending... there seems to be more story to tell... Let me know, okay???

Thanks for reading.


	2. On Shaky Ground

**Author's Note: **So - we won First Place - popular vote - in the Sport of Love Contest on www . TWCSLibrary . com. And we thank all of you who voted for us. This story was our very first collab and we had an awesome time writing it. Then the messages flooded in, requesting an extension. And here it is - chapter 2, delving further into their past, and hopefully their future.

**Disclaimer:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. We just play in the sandbox she created. No copyright infringement is intended.

Many thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed the first chapter. Without further ado, enjoy this 2nd installment.

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2. On Shaky Ground

BPOV

"Marry me. Please."

_Oh. My. God. _

I was stunned into silence, my throat closing up. As I tried to find my voice, the silence became deafening as Edward's smile began to fade, the color draining from his face. I didn't know what to say. We had just been reunited after spending fourteen years apart. Our feelings might not have changed – last night was certainly proof of that – but I had changed as a person and I was fairly certain that Edward had, as well. We needed time to become fully reacquainted, and neither one of us was in a position to get married right away.

The idea itself was preposterous.

And something I really, really wanted.

I squashed the irrational desire to simply tell him yes. I wanted to, but couldn't. We were adults now, with adult responsibilities. I had my son to consider, first and foremost, and based on Rosalie's reaction at the ballpark, Edward also had some issues to figure out with his family before we could jump head first into a marriage.

Surely he understood that.

I couldn't help but wonder what had motivated him to propose. Why had he chosen this moment to ask _that _question? How could I explain that as desperately as I wanted to say yes, I would have to say no – at least, for now.

Somewhere in the pit of my stomach, I began to regret falling into bed with him so quickly after meeting again.

"Edward," I began hesitantly.

"You don't have to say anything," he quickly cut me off, sounding so utterly dejected that my heart clenched. "It's just that –"

"Please listen," I said, reaching out my hand, cupping Edward's cheek. "I love you. I do. I always have … and I would be happy to become your wife. But..."

I shivered, momentarily distracted as a part of me recognized that I already _was_ a wife. Jacob's widow, to be exact. And yet, for some reason, I felt this innate need to become _Edward's_ wife. I blinked a few times, trying to refocus my attention.

Edward was silent while I collected my thoughts. I placed my other hand on Edward's cheek and pulled him to me, leaning into his lips, tenderly kissing them. I wanted him to feel my love before I continued. Slowly, I released his face and sat back.

"But, there's so much we need to talk about first," I explained quietly. "We've grown, Edward, and we've changed. We should take some time to really get reacquainted, to learn who we are _now_. I'm not eighteen anymore, and I'm no longer just me...I mean, it's not just me anymore. I have someone else to consider."

"James," Edward said simply, looking away from me.

There was a hint of bitterness in his voice, and though I tried to bring his face back to mine, he resisted.

I sighed.

"I'm not the only one who has to take other people into consideration," I stated grudgingly.

"Rosalie will just have to deal with it," Edward smirked as he turned back to face me.

"Interesting that you knew precisely who I was thinking about," I retorted sarcastically.

Edward exhaled loudly, then wrapped his arms around me.

"I'll stand by you for as long as it takes. I can finally breathe and feel my heart again." Edward paused before his voice got lower. "Just please tell me there's something for me to wait for."

"Oh, Edward! Please don't doubt my love for you," I replied, throwing my arms around his neck.

To hear him confirm that he would wait, that he would allow us to have the time we needed to truly find our way back to each other, caused my heart to swell. I was unable to hold back the tears as they streamed down my face.

"I made the biggest mistake of my life when I left you. I won't ever let you go again," I sobbed, whispering quietly. "Never."

Apparently that was all Edward needed to hear as I found myself being cradled tenderly in his strong arms once more and we made love, softly and slowly.

When the afterglow faded, reality set in again.

Although I knew James was fine, with Seth taking care of him overnight, I still needed to get home. Soon. I was anxious being away from James. We hadn't spent a night apart since Jacob's death and the motherly side of me was angry at myself for having done so now. But there was no way I could have left Edward last night. I forced myself to refocus on what I needed to do, rolling over, kissing Edward on the nose and then turning to get up.

"Wait, where are you going?" he asked.

I was torn between finally being with the man I truly loved and caring for my son. One voice kept insisting that James was fine while Edward wasn't, but my mothering instincts took over, demanding that I go home. I hated having to choose, but faced with the choice, James would always come first.

Somehow I needed to make Edward understand that I just couldn't shirk my responsibilities. And Edward certainly couldn't come home with me, at least not right now. Even though James knew Edward as his coach, I was not ready to introduce him to Edward as anything other than that.

"I have to get back to James," I stated reluctantly.

"Right now?"

"Edward, I haven't been away from him this long since –"

"Oh," he said quietly. "Can I see you tonight?"

"Umm, I can't expect Seth to stay with James again."

"That's not what I meant. He knows who I am, can't I just stop by?"

"Do you think that's wise? Do you think we'll be able to keep our hands off each other in front of my son?" I asked, chuckling.

"I would love to rub my hands all over your delicious body every minute of every day, but I think I can control myself around your son for a few hours," Edward replied smugly. "Come on, Bella, what do you take me for? I'm not some horny teenager anymore, you know? Okay, horny, yes – but not a teenager."

He winked.

The images my mind conjured nearly caused me to grab onto Edward and throw myself on top of him. I couldn't keep the smile off my face, giggling a bit at the prospect. I felt like I was seventeen again.

"Would you like that?" Edward asked enticingly as he gently ran his fingers up my side and then around the outer curves of my breasts. I felt my eyes roll back in my head, unable to stifle a moan.

"Mmm."

I really needed him to stop, but Edward's hands continued their path up to my shoulders and neck before coming to rest on my cheek.

"Edward."

"Yes, Bella?"

"I still need to go home," I said quietly with every ounce of willpower I could muster.

"So, can I come over tonight?" he whispered in my ear.

Edward seemed to have complete control over me and I could deny him nothing. I found myself agreeing to his request as a shiver ran up my spine.

"Okay. Come over at nine. James usually goes to bed between eight and eight-thirty."

After one more searing kiss, I finally got out of bed, dressing quickly. Edward walked me to the door, clad only in a pair of jeans that sat low on his waist. It was only due to sheer determination that I was able to get in my car.

As soon as I pulled out of the driveway, I called Seth, anxious to ensure that James was alright. Deep down I knew that if there had been a problem, Seth would've called, but I really just needed to hear that for myself.

"Hey, Bella," Seth answered after just one ring. "James and I are fine. He had some breakfast and now we're playing video games."

"Oh, okay. I'm on my way. Do you need anything? And … thanks for yesterday," I mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"No problem. We always have fun. You know I'm here for you," Seth said before asking, "Do you want to talk about what's going on?"

I didn't really want to discuss what had happened with Edward or Rosalie, but after everything Seth had done for me since Jacob's accident, I felt I owed him some sort of explanation, just not right now.

"Well, perhaps another time. It's not a conversation I want to have in front of James."

"Alright," Seth said quietly before inhaling deeply. "I don't want to pry, but if there's anything wrong...just remember you and James are important to me."

"Thanks, Seth. I know and I appreciate it. I don't know what I would have done these past two years without you," I replied graciously.

"You would've been stuck with Mom and Dad," Seth said laughingly. "See you when you get here."

"Okay," I chuckled before hanging up the phone.

A part of me felt bad for taking James away from his grandparents, aunts, and the rest of the extended Black family. Jacob's parents, Billy and Sarah, still lived in North Carolina as did their twin daughters, Rachel and Rebecca who were several years older than Jacob and married with children of their own. Initially, after Jacob's death, it was a great relief having everyone around, but after the first year, it got to be too much. They were _always_ around, never allowing James or me to be alone, not even for a moment. No matter how nicely I asked, or how much I insisted that we were doing okay, they assured me that they knew what was best. It became so stifling that I thought I would suffocate on their good intentions. James had always been close to Seth, so when he received orders to transfer to Jacksonville, Florida, I jumped at the chance to move.

Not only would both James and I get a fresh start, but I had grown up in Jacksonville since the age of six after my crazy, flaky mother left my father. It had been impossible for him to take care of me properly with the long hours he worked at the police station so I ended up living with my dad's parents, Charles Sr. and Marie Swan.

It was the town I had met and fallen in love with Edward, the town I had fled after breaking up with him to set him free. I had only been back three times since that horrible day, each of those a sad occasion.

My dad's parents had been in their late forties when my dad was born and they had passed away not long after Jacob and I had married. Grandma Swan died first, followed shortly thereafter by my grandfather. I think he died of a broken heart.

Tragically, it wasn't long after we buried my grandparents that my father was killed while on duty. Charlie had pulled someone over for speeding and was standing on the side of the road getting the necessary information when another car careened out of control, hitting my dad, killing him instantly. I had tried to contact my mother on numerous occasions, but to no avail. The last information I had indicated she lived in Phoenix, but I hadn't been able to reach her. I had no idea where Renee was and, truthfully, I didn't care.

Without even realizing it, I found myself at home, sitting in the driveway. I was anxious to see James, but hesitant nonetheless. You could never be sure what an eight year old was thinking, and even more disconcerting was wondering what he would ask. If James had insisted on knowing my whereabouts last night, Seth would likely have provided some sort of plausible and appropriate explanation.

I trusted Seth to have done the right thing, yet my head was swirling around the possible what-ifs as I opened the door.

"James, Seth, I'm home."

I heard them in the den, which was good because I needed to change my clothes before seeing my son. Under normal circumstances he may not have noticed, but since I was still dressed in my scrubs and I hadn't worked since yesterday, I thought discretion would be a good idea.

"Back here, mom," James called out, laughing with Seth. I couldn't help but get a little choked up as I climbed the stairs to my bedroom. The only time these days that I really heard that solid, belly-laugh from my son was when Seth was around and usually when they played video games. He'd always had such fun with Jacob and I felt my chest tighten knowing that James would never have the opportunity to learn from, laugh with and get to know his father.

Suddenly I heard feet flying up the stairs. I cringed.

"Be careful," I called out just as I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Hold on a minute."

"Mom, I beat Uncle Seth again!" James shouted through the door. He was so excited. I hurried, changing my clothes as quickly as possible before throwing open the door and giving him a giant hug.

"He cheats," Seth laughed, shaking his head.

"Do not," James said, frowning.

"He's just teasing you, honey," I said, scowling slightly at Seth.

Seth raised his hand, ruffling the dark hair on the top of James' head. "Don't be such a baby," Seth teased, chuckling.

"I'm not," James said with a humph, folding his arms across his chest.

"You're right," Seth replied, patting him on the back. "You're the man of the house."

Seth glanced over at me, an odd expression on his face. I was fairly certain he knew where I had been all night and I couldn't help but wonder why he had made that comment.

The rest of the day passed without incident. Seth stayed for lunch and then took James to the park to throw around the football. They were gone the entire afternoon, not returning until I was in the midst of making dinner. I had expected Seth to stay, but he smiled and said he had plans. I nodded, hoping he had a date. He was such a sweet, caring guy and I hoped he could find a girl who deserved him. Of course, I was biased, but Seth really was great.

I didn't think I would have survived the last few years since Jacob's death without him.

James was tired and I was certain he'd fall asleep rather quickly. After a bath and a fresh set of pajamas, he was in bed reading when I went to check on him. I leaned over, kissing his forehead and smiled when I heard his quiet voice.

"Are you going out again tonight?"

I felt my chest tighten as I replied, "No, baby. Why do you ask?" I tried to remain calm on the outside even though my insides were squirming all around.

"No reason," he said with a yawn. "I just like being home with you."

"I like being home with you, too. Good night, sweetie. Sleep well. See you in the morning," I whispered.

James mumbled something, but he was already out.

It was only eight so I decided to change out of my sweats and tank top and into one of the few nice pairs of jeans I had. Most of my clothes had gotten too big over the course of the past two years, the weight loss a side effect of the stress and pain after losing Jacob, but I hadn't seen the need to buy new ones. I also found a nice blue blouse and then brushed my hair, spritzed myself with just a touch of perfume and got comfy on the couch with one of my favorite books while I waited.

I was nervous about seeing Edward again, especially after the crazy proposal this morning, but if we really were going to make this work, we would have to get to know each other again. I thought about the girl I had been and the woman I had become. Some things had remained the same, but plenty had changed. It would take time to discover each other again.

Edward had always been very punctual, so when I looked up at the clock and realized it was five after nine, I was surprised that he wasn't already at the door. I checked my phone to make sure he hadn't called.

_No missed calls. Odd. _

This didn't mesh at all with what he had revealed that morning, and the urgency and need that had been in his voice when he'd asked to come over. I shrugged it off, thinking that perhaps he'd gotten stuck in traffic somewhere, and returned to my book. I tried to refocus my attention on the page, but it was to no avail – I kept reading the same paragraph over and over again.

By half past nine I wondered if I should call him. I snatched up the phone and stared at it, as if it could answer the sudden questions in my mind. The voice of doubt crept into my head, telling me that he'd changed his mind. I would understand if he had. After all, I had left him all those years ago, lying to him about why I was leaving, and making that decision for both of us. I had a child now, and no guy in the right frame of mind would want to get saddled down with someone else's kid. Maybe he had slept with me just to hurt me – for revenge.

_Do you really think that? That's not like him at all._

_Yeah, but fourteen years is a long time. He could have changed._

_Fourteen years is also a long time to wait for a revenge fuck. Besides, did you not hear what Rosalie said about how despondent he's been this entire time? How he's been hurting over losing you? _

_Yes, but..._

_And do you really think he would have asked you to marry him if he was only out for revenge?_

_No, but..._

_Shut up, Bella. Don't be stupid. The most likely scenario here is that something's come up and he didn't get a chance to call. _

The voice of reason was strong, but I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that Edward's confession and subsequent proposal had been just a setup. The thought hurt very badly, but part of me recognized that if this was the case, I certainly deserved it. I should have never left him, I should have given him the chance to talk about my fears, and allowed him to at least be part of the decision. Whether he would have agreed with me was a completely different matter, but I never even gave him the chance.

_Yeah, you lied. You broke him. No wonder he's not showing up._

Edward wasn't coming. Slowly I got up off the couch, turned off the lights, and headed to my room to change. I stripped off my clothes, tossing them on the floor as I grabbed my old sweats. I crawled into my bed, but it seemed even more empty and cold than usual. Immediately the loneliness overwhelmed me as the tears began to fall. I was no longer able to hold back the sobs that escaped from my chest while a torrent of anxiety consumed me.

I had lost him.

Again.

EPOV

_You fucking idiot_!

_Just had to go and blurt that out, didn't ya_?

_Just couldn't keep your fucking mouth shut. _

_Dumbass_!

My inner voice was still yelling at me. After Bella left, rather rapidly once I had opened my big mouth and proposed to her the morning after the very best sex in fourteen years, I mentally slapped myself. I was, without a doubt, a complete moron. I hadn't felt so juvenile in years. Or stupid. Ridiculously, over the top stupid.

When I had woken up, my thought processes had apparently still been caught up in the wonder that was our unexpected reunion, and the melding of our bodies the night before. Sex with Bella had been exciting and familiar at the same time, passionate and loving and altogether overwhelming my senses.

And since I hadn't been quite in control of my mental faculties after one of the best nights in fourteen fucking years, I asked her to marry me. I'd laid myself bare and she had said nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not one fucking word. The minutes had ticked by and I'd felt like such a fool. When she finally spoke she had tried to gently let me down. The more I thought about what had transpired, the angrier I became.

We didn't have to get married right away. I wasn't opposed to a long engagement, seeing how we definitely needed to figure some shit out, but I didn't see what the fuck her problem was. Okay, so she had a kid. Big deal. James seemed like a good kid – polite, attentive, well-raised. It was not like I was going to swoop in and try to be his daddy. He already had one, some fucker who had impregnated Bella with a kid that should have been mine to give her. Thank fuck the man was dead. Though I did feel sorry for the kid – nobody deserved to lose a parent.

And I knew very well what that felt like.

And now Bella and I had been given a second chance, something that I hadn't even known I'd prayed for all these years, something that I didn't even know I had _wanted_. Sure, I'd kept the ladies at bay, not interested in making a new connection with someone, because none of them would ever own my heart like Bella did.

And even if I had known, I wouldn't have dared hoped for it. Our break-up had completely destroyed me, made me fall into a black hole of despair from which I hadn't quite dug my way out, not even after fourteen years.

No wonder I was still single.

Thank God I was still single.

It almost felt as if I had subconsciously waited for Bella to come back to me.

_You stupid fuck_!

_You probably scared her away_.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I ran my fingers through my hair. I flopped on the edge of my bed, falling on my back as I covered my face with my hands, forcing myself to breathe.

Eventually I sat up, leaning over to rest my elbows on my knees as I held my head in my hands, going over the last few minutes in my mind. She hadn't actually said no flat-out. It seemed that she had been just as shocked at my words as I. And although she'd said 'not now', she'd also given me the impression that eventually she _wanted_ to be my wife. As her words replayed in my mind like a movie, I finally began to relax.

That lasted all of about two seconds until Rosalie's angry sneer popped into my head. Her reaction to seeing Bella had been quite different from mine – where I had been grateful and excited, Rose had been pissed off, claws out, ready to rip off Bella's head.

I wasn't looking forward to talking to my sister about the situation. Rose had been my rock, my unfailing support during the shittiest time of my life. Her attitude towards Bella was completely understandable. She'd watched me fall to pieces after Bella left, and it had only been because of Rose's insistence and constant badgering that I had even made it to college.

Rose had been the only one able to pick me up after Bella left.

Flashback:

_The day after Bella had thrown away our love, Rose found me with the shades drawn and empty beer bottles strewn around my room. She had tried to speak with me, but I'd just moaned from underneath the covers. When she ripped the comforter off me, I was forced out of bed, in a mad dash for the bathroom to worship the __porcelain god for my sins of the previous night. As I puked out my guts for what felt like a year, she gently __stroked my hair, then offered me a wet washcloth to run over my face. When I was finally done heaving up bile, I lay on the cold tile floor next to the toilet, exhausted, blankly staring into space._

"_Edward, you have to get up. You can't stay in the bathroom forever." _

_I knew she was trying to be quiet, but her voice sounded like a hundred banshees shrieking all at once. I slapped my hands over my ears. _

"_Leave me alone," I muttered angrily. I had no intention of moving, at least not any time soon. My mouth was dry, my head was pounding and I just wanted to be alone. Wallow in the misery, drown in the despair, the agonizing pain of losing the love of my life. I knew I shouldn't have taken out my hatred for what Bella had done on my sister who was now the only woman left in my life, but she was the only one physically in my room and I wanted her gone, too._

"_Edward, come on," she said a bit louder, "you can't let Dad see you like this."_

"_He'll understand," I moaned, recalling how my father had drank away his demons every night after our mother had died. _

_Rose sighed and left. Eventually I did get off the floor, but only to return to my bed, crawling underneath the covers to hide from the world. Food appeared in my room and I ate if I felt like it. Dirty plates disappeared as if by magic. When the beer ran out, I got up to get more. When it was no longer sufficient to numb the pain, I moved on to harder stuff, raiding the liquor cabinet. When I had drunk all the alcohol to be found in the house, I raged like a madman until I dragged myself out of bed for long enough to make a run to the liquor store around the corner. _

_Thank God for fake IDs._

_Ignoring the curious stares from the store proprietor, I loaded up on beer and cheap whiskey and went back to my room where I proceeded to drain bottle after bottle until the comfortable numbness took over again. Occasionally, I slept. Never more than for a few hours until the nightmares woke me, in a cold sweat, and I ran to the bathroom to puke again. _

_The vicious cycle of drinking, vomiting and sleeping continued for nearly two weeks, until my sister finally had enough._

"_Edward, get up," Rose bellowed as she threw open the shades, causing me to hide my eyes from the sudden brightness._

"_I've allowed you to wallow in your miserable filth long enough. Your room smells like sweat, dirty laundry and stale vomit and I've had it with you. I've made all the excuses for you that I'm willing to make, and Dad's expecting us to both be on our way to the University of Miami in two weeks. You're going to get up and rejoin the land of the living. Now scram!" _

_And with that, she threw back the covers. "The first order of business is getting you cleaned up," Rose said disgustedly. Before I realized what she was doing, I felt my sweatpants being pulled off._

"_Hey! __What are you doing?" I yelled, but my sister just laughed and kept tugging on my pants. I scrambled, pulling on the sheets as I tried to hold onto what little bit of dignity I had left. _

"_Get in the damn shower. You stink." She dragged me to the bathroom by my ear, as I screeched in protest, and turned on the water in the shower, pushing me under the cold stream. "Now clean yourself up. I'll be back in a few with some clean clothes."_

_I stood there, shivering in my boxers and a ratty t-shirt, and let the icy water pelt me until my head cleared up sufficiently to realize what Rose was doing. _

_She was saving my life. _

End Flashback

With Rose's support, I had continued on with my life, putting one foot in front of the other. We attended college and somehow, I managed to graduate. I played football as expected, fielded NFL offers but declined them all, not interested in the high profile life of a pro football player.

Rose dated Emmett throughout our college years, and the two of them dragged me along to keg parties and other events, insisting that I partake in the college experience. Girls came on to me on a regular basis, but I turned them all down. I wasn't interested in a new relationship, and at the time, one-night stands felt cheap and dirty to me.

They still did, but after the disaster with Tanya, I had entered those arrangements with clear expectations from my end, and I did not hold back in clarifying beforehand that one night of sex would not lead to anything else. The women were free to decline and some of them did. I hadn't wanted any strings attached.

While in college, I was still used to passion fueled by deep love, and I'd had no interest in sex without an emotional connection, and absolutely no desire to even try building a new relationship. I only wanted Bella. I dreamed only of Bella, and the only sex I had for a long year was the self-manipulated kind.

Of course, that only lasted for so long until my hand was no longer enough to satisfy my needs, and I gave in to the hormonal urges, hooking up with a girl at a party one night, drunk as a skunk, because she reminded me of Bella, with long dark hair and brown eyes.

I fucked her from behind in her room, bent over the couch so she was facing away from me because I didn't want to see her face. I didn't even take off my pants, just pulled her panties down far enough to expose her sex, pushing her short skirt up around her hips.

It was fast and hard and desperate, and I climaxed quickly, my dick ecstatic to feel the insides of a pussy instead of the palm of my hand for a change.

When it was all over and I rose from my drunken stupor sufficiently to realize what I had done, I couldn't get out of her room fast enough. I never spoke to her again. I couldn't even remember her name at this point.

And the one time I had attempted to build something new, it had ended in a complete fuck-up. Tanya was a nice girl, and we had a lot in common. A chance meeting at a night club led to a date night complete with dinner and a movie and a chaste good night kiss at her front door, and for the first time in a very long time, I'd felt the possibility of something after Bella.

It slowly built from there, a few more dinners, meetings for coffee and conversation on Sunday mornings, a trip to the beach on a sunny Saturday in June. That night I had let things progress naturally. Tanya was responsive, we fooled around on her couch, and as things became more heated, we moved to her bedroom.

Flashback:

"_Ungh, baby...kiss me." _

_Tanya looked up at me, her hands around my neck, her legs around my waist, lifting her hips to grind into me. I bent down to kiss her, thrusting my tongue into her open mouth, as I thrust my pelvis into her cloth-covered core._

"_Fuck, woman..." _

"_That's the idea, Eddie," she whispered, smirking._

_I groaned at the use of the hated nickname, sitting back on my knees and fumbling for the buttons of her blouse. Her hands moved to pull my shirt from my jeans, and I quickly pulled it over my head, tossing it to the ground. She raked her nails down my back and I arched forward, falling towards her. _

_Impatiently, I ripped the rest of the buttons open as she gasped, pulling her upper body forward to slide the blouse off her shoulders and arms. A red lacy bra covered her tits only partially, and I pushed the cups down, freeing her breasts before dipping down to capture a nipple in my mouth, sucking hard, swirling my tongue around the hardened nub._

_A guttural moan burst from her lips and I continued down her body to open her jeans, dipping into lacy panties. Quickly, I moved down and freed her from the pants, taking the thong down with them. I shed my own jeans and boxers before joining her again on the bed._

_Her legs were wide open, her bare pussy glistening invitingly, and I dove right in, sheathing myself in a powerful stroke, slapping my balls against her ass. _

"_Shit," she whimpered. "You're huge...fuck...oh...yes...harder...faster...fuck me, Eddie..."_

_I panted and grunted on top of her, lifting her legs around my waist, gripping her hips and thrusting deep and hard, faster and faster until I could feel the coil tightening in my stomach. I pulled back again and with one last hard push, the tension snapped and my cock pulsed my release into the condom._

"_Unnngghhh...Bellaaaa..."_

_A second later, I found myself splayed on the floor, an enraged Tanya glaring at me from the corner of the mattress._

"_What the fuck did you just yell, asshole? Who the fuck is Bella?"_

_I tried to catch my breath before answering. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...fuck, I'm sorry." _

_Moving into a sitting position, I put my elbows on my knees and rested my head in my hands, my now very limp dick still covered in the condom._

"_Who is she, Eddie?" Tanya sneered. "You got someone else on the side? Oh my God...are you married?"_

_I laughed mirthlessly. "No, I'm not married. Look, I'm sorry, okay? Bella is my ex-girlfriend."_

_Tanya pulled up the sheet to cover herself, still looking rather angrily down at me._

"_How long ago?"_

"_Five years," I whispered, looking down at my feet. "I'm sorry. I just can't seem to get over her. You're a nice girl, Tanya, and I thought...I thought that...maybe...fuck, I don't know what I thought. I'm sorry."_

_Tanya took a deep breath, the anger leaving her face._

"_I think you should leave now, Edward," she replied resignedly, her tone leaving no room for further discussion. "I really like you, but you're obviously still hung up on her if it's been that long, and I deserve more than someone who's only partially into this relationship."_

_The whole situation was extremely awkward and embarrassing. I pulled the condom off and tied it up, then got up and put on my clothes, dropping the used rubber into the trashcan by her desk._

"_You're right," I said softly. "You deserve better than me. I wish you all the best, and hope that you find what you're looking for."_

_I left quickly after that and never called her again. _

End Flashback

It was my last attempt at an actual relationship. Nine years ago. There just wasn't any point in even trying anymore. I hung out with Rose and Emmett, excusing myself whenever they gave off signals that they wanted to be alone, and lost myself in my job, moving quickly through the ranks, until Carlisle offered me the position as his GC, overseeing the latest housing projects his company was building in our town.

And apart from the occasional one-niter, I pretty much spent all of my free time with Rose and my brother-in-law. Rose still tried every now and then to set me up with someone, but I always politely declined.

And that train of thought reminded me that I had quite a difficult conversation ahead of me. After yesterday's confrontation at the ballpark, I could only imagine what Rosalie would throw at me once I called her, especially since she knew that I had taken Bella home with me.

The conversation did need to happen, though. I knew of Rosalie's deep-seated hatred for Bella – hell, I could completely understand it, too. After picking up the mess I was in after Bella left and dealing with the empty shell of me for fourteen years, my sister had every right to detest Bella for what she had done to me.

Just like I had every right to forgive her for it. This was my life, and for the first time in years, I finally felt like living again. Bella did that, and I hoped that Rose would see that I was finally happy. Perhaps, there was forgiveness possible from her end, too.

I certainly didn't want to get into a situation where Rose would lose her temper again, especially not in front of the boys, like she had yesterday. That was just uncalled for, and didn't serve any purpose. Hell, I was more than willing to have a discussion with Rose and Bella both about it, and Emmett could join in the fun as well, but in the end, it was my decision, and my feelings that mattered.

And my feelings told me clearly that what they wanted was Bella. In any and every way possible. Rose would not be allowed to stand in my way, despite how much I loved her and was grateful to her.

_Fuck, this ain't gonna be good_.

_Best to just get this over with. _

I quickly showered and dressed and then grabbed my keys on the way out the door. From the car, I called Rose's cell to let her know I was on the way. Thankfully, it went to voicemail.

I saw Rose's car as I pulled into her driveway, but parked behind hers was another car, one I didn't recognize. I stopped my car next to my sister's and sat there for a moment, wondering who might be visiting.

I considering leaving and coming back later, but my curiosity got the better of me so I turned off the engine and got out of the car. The front door was open, only the screen door blocking my way, and I knocked before calling out.

"Rose?"

"Yeah, come on in," she shouted between laughs.

It was surprising to hear her so happy. She didn't often let loose and when she did, it was usually with Emmett and Jasper. As I turned the corner into the kitchen, I stopped dead in my tracks.

_Well, hot damn._

I hadn't seen her in years. A smile slowly spread across my face.

"Sam?"

"Hi, Ed," the woman said, smiling. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Only one person ever called me Ed and that was Rose's friend, Samantha, whom we had known longer than even Bella. Samantha's family moved around a lot so her family had come and gone more times than I could recall, yet somehow Rose and Sam always picked up their friendship right where they'd left off each and every time. The last time they'd moved away was right before high school. I'd seen her since then, but only when she was visiting Rose, and during a week of Spring break in our senior year at college.

After Bella broke up with me, Rose did her damnedest to set us up. Sam was almost like a sister to me and, in all honesty, being with her would have broken one of my cardinal rules. Although Samantha was thinner and taller than Bella – built more like Rose – she had very similar hair color and eyes.

And I never ever dated anyone who even remotely looked like Bella. I had categorically refused to even entertain the idea, but Rose just wouldn't give up.

That week during Spring break had been exceptionally awkward, and I had no intention of ever revisiting that time in my life.

We'd done the usual college routine, Rose, Emmett and I, staying in a cheap hotel far from the action in Daytona Beach to which we returned only to sleep and clean up. We'd done the same in the years prior, but senior year, Sam joined us for the week, sort of like a last hurrah before college was done with.

As soon as we'd arrived, Sam had made it fairly clear that she was interested in taking things to another level, and I had practically hid myself in my hotel room for most of the week, trying to avoid her as much as possible. It had felt like a rather pathetic set-up, and Rose and I had fought like cats and dogs afterward.

Flashback:

"_I don't get it, Edward," she huffed when we got back to our college dorms after that disastrous week of pussy-footing. "Sam is a really nice girl, and you practically ran from her. We've known her for ages. I don't understand why you won't even try..."_

"_I don't want to try anything, Rose," I snapped angrily. "I'm not interested in anyone. You of all people should know this."_

"_But why, Edward? Sam really likes you, and she'd be perfect for you." Rose crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at me. "If you'd only give her the chance, you'd see it, too."_

"_Perfect how?" I sneered. "Perfect because she's your best friend? Perfect because we've known her for so long? Tell me, Rose – how is she perfect for me?"_

"_Well, for one – she looks a lot like Bella-"_

_I lost it when my sister mentioned that name._

"_Are you out of your fucking mind?" I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air, pacing around the small room. "That is exactly why there will never be anything between me and Sam. How many times have I fucking told you not to mention that name, huh? Some sister you are. I'm fucking done with this conversation."_

_I moved towards the door, just needing to get out of there. A beer or ten sounded good, just something to numb the pain and agony._

"_You gotta get over her at some point, Edward," Rosalie yelled. "How much longer are you going to pine after her? She didn't want you! When will you get that through your head? What was it she said? 'She needed to find herself' or some such shit? Yeah, right. Find fresh meat, more like it. She's probably fucked the entire college campus by now, whatever school she went to."_

_I was so enraged I saw red. My hands balled up into fists and I punched the wall, the pain in my fingers a poor substitute for the anguish I had been feeling for nearly four years. The images of happier times flitted through my head and suddenly all the fight went out of me._

"_Fuck you, Rose!" I said resignedly. "Why don't you twist the knife a bit more. The wound is obviously not deep enough yet."_

"_Edward..."_

"_I don't think I'll ever get over her."_

_I walked out of my sister's dorm room, ignoring her whispers of how sorry she was. _

_Welcome to purgatory._

End Flashback

It had been the last time she'd tried to set me up with Sam. None of us had ever mentioned that week again, and I had seen Sam on occasion after we got out of college and settled back in Jacksonville. She'd come to Rose and Emmett's wedding, of course, being the maid of honor, but it had been clear that I wasn't interested and that hooking up with her wouldn't happen.

Ever.

And though Sam had visited since their wedding, I had studiously avoided Rose's house during those times whenever possible. I actually hadn't seen her since Jasper's second or third birthday party.

Samantha looked at me expectantly, and I realized I had yet to answer.

"Yeah, you could say that," I replied to the question, scratching my neck, an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. "God, it's been...what? Five...six years?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah, probably. You doing okay? You look great."

She winked at me and the feeling in my gut intensified. This was way too coincidental for my taste and alarm bells were going off in my head.

"Uh, thanks. Yeah, I'm great, actually," I answered, with a side look at my sister. "How about you? You look...well."

"Thanks, Ed," she said with a smirk. "I didn't realize it had been that long. Time flies when you're having fun, right?"

As I caught a glance between Rose and Sam, I suddenly knew that Samantha had already been told what had recently occurred between Bella and myself; it was too much of a coincidence and the timing to perfect to think otherwise. I realized what my sister was trying to do, but it wasn't going to work.

There would never be another woman for me – only Bella. Samantha looked at me, an odd expression on her face when I realized I hadn't answered yet another one of her questions.

"Yeah, yeah, it sure does," I said as Rosalie smiled. She was definitely up to something.

"Sit," Rose said, smirking. "Coffee?"

I sat and took the cup of coffee from my sister as I watched the two friends return to their casual, easy-going banter. Perhaps Samantha was just in town for a visit and I was overreacting, but the weird feeling didn't leave me. I nursed my coffee for a while, only half listening to their conversation, my thoughts on Bella and the uncomfortable talk with my sister that loomed ahead.

It wasn't until Rose spoke my name that I was brought out of my contemplations.

"Sorry, what?" I asked.

"Was there something you needed?" Rose repeated herself.

"N-no. Do I need a reason to see my favorite sister? Just thought I'd stop by and say hi," I answered. The expression on Rosalie's face led me to think that she didn't totally believe me, but she let it go.

"We're going shopping and then Sam's staying for dinner. Would you like to join us?" she asked coyly.

At that point I was absolutely convinced that my sister was up to no good, but at the moment I didn't care. I needed to talk with her about Bella. Unfortunately, it seemed I'd have to wait. Maybe I could catch a moment after dinner.

"What time?"

"Emmett and Jasper will be back around four-thirty so we'll eat around six. That work for you?"

"Sure," I replied, knowing that I wouldn't be seeing Bella until nine. I had plenty of time.

I stood up to say good-bye, walking over to give Rose a hug and a kiss on the cheek. When I turned to leave, I accidentally bumped into Samantha who'd also stood up, causing her to fall backward. Without thinking, I quickly reached for her, grabbing her until she was once again steady on her feet.

Samantha smiled and attempted to give me a hug, but I instinctively backed away. I didn't mean to appear rude and, truthfully, I had no qualms about hugging her, but over the years that kind of behavior had become ingrained, almost like second nature.

I had always made certain that any woman I was with knew from the start that it was just for fun, a good time, a few hours at most, and that things like love were not a part of it – not something I could give. Actions like tender kisses and gentle hugs were always out of the question.

I was very open about the fact that sex with me would be hard and fast, just an itch that I needed to scratch, and when it was over, so was I.

Awkwardly I quickly reached over, took Sam's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before turning around again, walking out of the kitchen.

Rose looked like the cat that swallowed the canary, causing me to shake my head, a slight grimace on my face.

"Bye ladies," I said, walking out the door.

"See you at six," Rose called out. "Don't be late."

I drove back toward my house, but I was too restless to sit around so I headed to the construction site I was currently supervising. Sometimes Carlisle, the owner of Cullen Construction, would go to the site office on the weekends to review the progress of the project. Carlisle had hired me straight out of college at Emmett's recommendation and we had worked together ever since. We'd become close over the years; Carlisle was my mentor, but he also acted like an older brother. His car wasn't there, but I decided to stay and do some paperwork anyway.

After a few hours, I left and soon found myself driving around town aimlessly, as I replayed my time with Bella over and over again in my mind. At first glance, it seemed everything was going to be okay. Sure, we had things to work out, but we had been given another opportunity to get the forever we'd promised each other so long ago.

And yet, I couldn't seem to get rid of the nagging voice in the back of my head, questioning my sanity. She had provided me with an explanation for why she had left, but I couldn't help wondering if that had that been the entire truth.

That she had basically broken my heart only because – in her words – she didn't want to hold me back. It didn't make a lot of sense in the daylight. I couldn't quite comprehend what she'd thought she'd be holding me back from. As if she didn't know or hadn't believed that I could only be whole with her in my life. Yes, I'd been successful professionally, though perhaps not in the field I had originally envisioned, but in my private life, I was just as broken and lonely as the day she had left.

It had only ever been Bella – and I had on more than one occasion told her so. For her to think that she wasn't what I needed, what I craved, was preposterous.

And Rosalie, on more than one occasion, had insisted Bella's reasons had been purely selfish ones. Was there any truth to that?

The more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became, seeing how I had allowed myself to be so easily taken in by her again. Without a doubt, she still owned me, mind, body and soul. For years I had wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms again and now that it had happened, I was questioning her motives and my own.

We'd fallen back into a physical relationship, and that part of us had always been incredible. That alone though would not be enough to sustain us in the years to come. We needed to reconnect on an emotional level as well, two mature adults with adult responsibilities, and I didn't know if Bella would still like the person I had become. Or whether I would like the person she had grown up to be. I supposed we should start over slowly – date, for lack of a better term, though that word felt weird at my age. Dating was done in high school or college, and I sure as hell hadn't dated anyone in quite some time. Not since Tanya. What the hell did I know about what it encompassed these days?

Asking her to marry me had been done with no forethought – well, the wrong part of my anatomy had asked that question, and it hadn't been my brain or my heart. Or maybe it had been that broken-hearted young man she'd left behind, panicking at the thought that I might lose her again if I didn't bind her to me in some tangible way.

I shook my head, not knowing what I was going to do. Baby-steps, I supposed, were the way to go. Slow. Steady. Careful.

If I didn't pay close attention, there was a chance I might get my heart broken again, and I already knew that I would not survive losing Bella again if I opened myself up completely right away. Stupid idiot that I was, I wished now that I could take back the words I had spoken that morning.

A part of me was feeling slightly manipulated by Bella. It had seemed so easy for her to cut me out of her life and just as easy for her to waltz right back in. All the years I'd spent trying to just get through each day, building a wall around me, and she had in only a few days torn it down, reducing it to rubble.

_Dangerous creature, sneaking into my heart as if she'd never left_.

_She never did leave your heart_.

_Admit it, Cullen – you're setting yourself up for an epic fail. Tread carefully_.

_She left you once – she can do it again_.

The nagging voice in the back of my mind continued to torment me as I wondered if there wasn't more to why she had left. Between the time she had returned to her house this morning and now that I'd had time to actually think about what had transpired, I had slowly put my guard back up and I wasn't about to lower it again any time soon.

I was scared, plain and simple. And I had no idea how to get past that feeling.

Eventually it was time to head back to Emmett and Rose's place for dinner. Initially I had been a little apprehensive, but whatever Rose's intentions, I would make it clear that I wasn't interested in pursuing anything with Samantha or anyone else, except for Bella.

When I got to my sister's house, I steeled myself before rapping on the door.

"Hey, come on in," Emmett said with a smirk as he opened the door and stepped aside, letting me in. "Want a beer?"

"Sure, why not," I replied, knowing that I wouldn't be driving anywhere for several hours.

Dinner was great as usual. No one could compare to Rose's mad cooking skills. After all, it had been through my sister's determination to keep me going that I hadn't withered away to nothing when Bella initially left. In fact, over the years Rose had kept both Emmett and me well fed as I was invited over to their house more times than I could count.

I would always be grateful to my sister for everything she had done for me over the years.

I tried hard to stay focused on the good food and enjoy the company, and as the evening progressed, I realized I was happy that I had accepted Rose's dinner invitation. I didn't even mind Samantha's presence as I watched her interact with my sister. It had been years since we'd all spent time together, and it was nice to see how easily we all seemed to fall back into our casual, friendly banter.

There were no expectations to live up to, just a feeling of family as it always had been. It was nice to see my sister enjoy her time with Sam. They had been such good friends, and I realized that during most of those years I had been so focused on Bella that I hadn't had a real conversation with Samantha, always too worried that it might be misunderstood or misconstrued into something I didn't want.

The evening passed by so quickly that I didn't realize the late hour until Rosalie mentioned to Jasper that it was time to get ready for bed.

"Shit," I muttered, getting up to carry my empty bottle of beer into the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Emmett asked, following me.

"I've got to go. I'm running late. Please tell Rose I'll call her tomorrow, okay?"

Emmett eyed me suspiciously. "Hot date?"

"Right," I snorted. "See ya later."

"And if she asks where you ran off to?" Emmett inquired curiously.

"I didn't tell you," I replied as I ran out of the house quickly.

The moment I got into the car and glanced at the dashboard clock, the time seemed to jump out at me in vivid color – it was already after ten and I had promised Bella I'd be at her house at nine.

_Fuckity fuck! Better get a move on, Cullen._

I thought about calling her, but abandoned that impulse when I realized that she hadn't called me which led me to wonder if she even realized I was late.

And with that thought, the doubts starting nagging me again. I had been, and still was, very punctual so I found it odd that she hadn't even bothered to call. Then the vicious voice told me that Bella really didn't want me, that she was home and perfectly happy without me as she had been for so many, many years. I shuddered at the thought and continuing driving, speeding down the empty roads like a madman.

Bella lived on the opposite end of our section of town from Emmett and Rose so I knew that even with the roads free of traffic at this late hour, I wouldn't get to her house until half past ten. I seriously considered going home instead and just calling her in the morning, but I really needed to see her.

As I thought about how she'd felt in my arms the night before, all soft and warm, her familiar scent, her face when she'd fallen apart underneath me, my dick sprang to life and my pants became uncomfortably tight. I shifted in my seat, trying to think of something other than Bella's overheated flesh against mine as I drove as fast as possible toward her home.

When I finally pulled into her driveway, I noticed that all the lights in the house were off. That was not good – either she hadn't cared that I was late which could only mean that she didn't really love me, or she was upset and had gone to bed thinking I wasn't coming at all, which caused my chest to constrict at the thought of hurting her.

It didn't matter all of a sudden how she had hurt me – just the thought of upsetting Bella caused me to gasp. I ran quickly up the drive to the front steps, knocking on the door as I skidded to a halt. Ringing the doorbell was out of the question – I didn't want to wake up her kid.

"Bella," I called out in a loud whisper. "Bella, I'm here."

I waited, listening, but I couldn't hear even the slightest movement in the house. I knocked a little louder, calling out to her again. Nothing.

_Shit, you fucked up_.

I walked around to where I thought her bedroom was on the second floor and tossed a small pebble at the window, in a last ditch effort to wake her. I called her name one last time, but the room remained dark. The silence was deafening and I just as I was about to give up, I saw a light turn on in what I hoped was her room.

"Bella, it's me, Edward. Sorry I'm late. Please open the door," I said a little louder than I had before. I still didn't hear anything, but decided to return to the front door, hoping against hope that she would come downstairs.

After what seemed like an eternity, the front door opened, but what I saw in front of me was not the face I was expecting. Instead her face was splotchy and red, her eyelids swollen from what I assumed were tears, dried, salty lines marring her beautiful face. Words failed me as my heart clinched in pain.

I could only stare at her.

"Edward!" She whispered my name like a prayer and the voice that had been nagging me all night finally shut up. Bella's tears were proof to me that she did want me, that she had waited for me and most likely thought I wasn't coming.

Emboldened, I stepped forward and pulled her into my arms, kissing her forehead and rubbing my hands up and down her back.

"I'm sorry, baby, I know I'm late. Can I come in?" I pleaded in her ear. "Please, Bella, I was at Rose's and lost track of time. I'm so sorry. Please, let me in."

She extricated herself from my embrace, searching my eyes for something. For a long moment, she simply gazed at me.

"Okay," she said finally and stepped back.

I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and took her hand as she led me into her living room. Unsure whether to tell her about Sam being in town, and the fact that I hadn't gotten a chance to speak to my sister yet, I resolved to not mention anything unless she asked me directly.

For the rest of the night, for as long as she'd let me stay, I only wanted to hold her in my arms and heal the pain she had inflicted on us both.

One band-aid at a time.

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**Endnote:** Well, I hope this was worth waiting for. Please leave a review. Thank you for reading.


	3. Let's talk, shall we?

**Author's Note: **And we're back! And ya'll didn't have to wait all that long, right? This whole Twilight thing still doesn't belong to us - SM owns it all. Sad but true.

The good news is that we both now own the Remember Me DVD. And ConfettiRainfall is up here visiting with me (YAY!), and I'm all bouncy about it. So, once we post this chapter, we'll be off to watch Eclipse again while ya'll read this chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

**3. Let's talk, shall we?**

BPOV

I tossed and turned restlessly, willing myself to sleep. Eventually I dozed off, only to find myself in Edward's arms. His eyes captivated my gaze and he smiled back at me adoringly. His hands were on my breasts, kneading, tugging and pulling on my nipples. My legs were wrapped around his waist, and I could feel him thrust into me, again and again. His mouth lowered and he captured one of the stiffened peaks with his lips, running his tongue around it. Again, he thrust his hips forward, powerful and strong. Nothing in the world was as wonderful as Edward filling me so totally and completely.

"Come for me, Bella," he whispered against my mouth just as the wave crested and I fell over the edge, moaning and panting his name.

And then he was gone.

Instead of Edward holding me in his arms, Rosalie stood before me, her eyes filled with hate as she glared down at me.

"I told you to stay away from my brother!" she shrieked, grabbing my hair and yanking me up from the bed.

Quickly I grabbed at the sheet, trying to cover my nudity, but she snatched it away.

"No!" she shouted. "You're leaving here looking like the whore you are," she screeched, opening a door and throwing me out into the bright sunlight.

I stood there, stunned, unable to move. After a moment, I looked around to see where I was. I tried to cover myself, but it was useless. For a second, I was relieved that no one seemed to be around when from out of nowhere Edward appeared.

I started walking toward him, but stopped short as I realized his eyes were vicious, filled with anger and hate.

"Rose was right," he sneered. "You are nothing but a slut. I was young and naive, but now I see the truth – I didn't love you then and I certainly don't love you now. You were good for one thing, though – at least you were a decent fuck."

I shot up in my bed, gasping for air as my heart shattered. The nightmare had shaken me to my core. I tried to breathe as my body shook and trembled with doubt, fear and overwhelming anxiety. Tears were once again streaming down my face when suddenly I heard a noise.

I wiped my eyes, struggling to make out what it was, but didn't hear anything else.

I fell back onto my pillow. After that horrible dream, I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again any time soon so I got out of bed, turning on the light and walking to the bathroom to wash my face.

I stopped me dead in my tracks when his voice broke through the silence.

"Bella, it's me, Edward. Sorry I'm late. Please open the door."

Edward was here.

Or was he?

I was unsure if I was really awake. He couldn't be here. He had rejected me.

He got his revenge, and I would never see him again.

I took another breath, my hands still shaking when I decided to peek out the window. It was dark and I couldn't see anything.

_Wait._ _Who's that_?

The light from the street lamp illuminated a dark figure retreating back to the front of the house.

I blinked, not sure if I was imagining things.

_Could it be him_?

Hesitantly, I made my way to the top of the staircase, millions of questions running through my mind.

_Where has he been?_

_Why is he so late?_

_What the hell does he want now, after making me wait for hours?_

_How does he truly feel about me? Is his lateness a sign?_

_If he's as happy as he claims, why the fuck is he so late?_

_Can you blame him, Bella? After you practically ran from him?_

_Will he ever forgive me?_

Slowly and quietly, I tiptoed downstairs, hoping not to wake James. As I reached the front door, I leaned against it, feeling wary and unsure of why he would come here so late.

_Perhaps he just wants to pour salt in the wound._

_You're an idiot – why would he come at all if he only intended to hurt you? That has already been accomplished, hasn't it?_

I snorted mirthlessly down my nose.

_He wants you – let him explain. _

I slowly turned the knob with a shaky hand and opened the door. For what seemed like an eternity, neither one of us spoke as Edward stood stock still, staring at me. I was afraid to learn what he wanted, or didn't want, from me. His face seemed devoid of emotion and without thinking, his name escaped my lips like a prayer.

"Edward."

And with that, he stepped inside the doorway, pulling me into his arms as he kissed my forehead and rubbed his warm hands up and down my back. My body began to respond to his touch, just as it always did, but I really needed to know what had happened. My heart told me to stay while my head insisted I retreat.

_You're afraid he'll hurt you like you hurt him._

And there was the truth. I never meant to break his heart. I had been certain my decision had been one of self-preservation. I thought I had it all figured out, but I had been wrong, so very wrong. I sighed internally.

"I'm sorry, baby, I know I'm late. May I come in?" Edward begged. "Please, Bella, I was at Rose's and lost track of time. I'm so sorry. Please, let me in," he said. As he continued his ramblings, my brain tried to make sense of his words.

I backed away from him slowly, staring into his eyes. I was afraid to believe he could still want me; the mere mention of Rose's name sent chills up my spine as my nightmare returned to the forefront of my mind with a vengeance. I shivered, trying to determine whether or not to trust his words. Perhaps that was the reason why he was late. I knew Rose hated me; her dressing down at the ball field had been proof of that, not that I could blame her.

Perhaps Edward was better off without me.

_He'll leave you eventually._

Perhaps that was true, but I would never push Edward away again, regardless of what Rose thought or said to me. For as long as he wanted me, I would be his.

"Okay," I finally said, taking a step further into the house.

Edward took my hand as we slowly walked into the house together. I knew we needed to talk, but I was exhausted. We couldn't go to my room; we'd be much too close to James so I walked into the living room with Edward following close behind.

As we sat down on the couch, Edward turned to me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, cupping my cheek with one of his strong hands.

I looked into his eyes. Could I actually tell Edward why I had cried? Could I share with him what memories had been resurrected by his delayed arrival? Should I tell him about my nightmare?

_What happened to you being honest with him?_

I shook my head. Fear was still holding me back.

"Edward, it's late," I hedged, knowing that if we started the conversation we'd be up all night rehashing the past. "Can't we just sit here for a while?"

I reached up, placing my hand over the one he had on my cheek, nuzzling my face further into his palm.

"Bella, please. Tell me why were you crying?" He had a determined expression on his face, yet I wasn't sure I was ready to lay myself bare for him, no more than I had already, but he deserved the truth.

_Yeah, he does. He's waited fourteen years for it, remember?_

I released my hold of his hand and it dropped to his lap.

"This is a conversation that will take some time," I said quietly, looking down and fidgeting with the hem of my t-shirt before feeling Edward's fingers under my chin, lifting my face up to meet his. His gaze was intense.

"Love, I'm not going anywhere. We have all the time you need." His voice was reassuring, his eyes meeting mine steadily.

I willed myself to relax.

"I didn't think you were coming," I admitted, tears gathering in my eyes before I had even finished speaking. "I thought that...that maybe...you had changed your mind."

I gulped for air, nearly choking on the words as feelings of abandonment rolled over me in waves. Memories of my mother crashed into my mind.

Flashback:

_I hadn't seen or heard from my mother since she'd left my dad and me. We never talked about her, but I missed her terribly. I didn't understand what I had done to make her hate me enough to leave us. I was only six, but my birthday was only a couple days away and my grandparents, who I now lived with, were having a big party for me. I was excited about it, but missed my mom._

"_Bella," Grandma Swan called out. "There's a phone call for you."_

_She didn't seem very happy, but I didn't know why as I reached for the telephone._

"_Hello?"_

"_Bella, baby! How are you?" _

_I couldn't believe whose voice I heard on the other end of the phone. I could almost feel my heart pounding in my chest._

"_Mommy! Where are you? Are you coming to my party? I miss you! I want to see you!" I was excited to hear my mother's voice, unable to contain my enthusiasm._

"_Calm down," she said laughing. "I just talked with your grandma, and she told me all about it. Of course I'll be there."_

_We talked more, but I was just so thrilled that I'd get to see her again I didn't really remember the rest of our conversation. My party was only two days away and then I'd get to see my mom again._

End Flashback

That was the _first_ time my mother didn't show up, but it wasn't the last. In fact, for most of my life, Renee had been nothing more than a big disappointment, and I knew my issues of worthlessness and fear of abandonment were due to the fact that she had always put herself before me.

After all, if I wasn't worthy of my own mother's love, why should anyone else love me? Especially someone like Edward, who could have anyone?

His voice broke through the depressing memories.

"Sweetheart, why didn't you just call me?" he asked as if it was the most obvious question in the world.

I bristled a little at the accusation in his voice, but answered honestly. "At first I thought you were just running late," I said, pausing before narrowing my eyes at him. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I was having dinner with Emmett and Rose and completely lost track of time," he replied, and his voice held a note of anxiety, as if he was hiding something.

And then I realized why he was here. He was going to tell me we were through, that our future was over before it had even begun again. I scrambled away from him, inadvertently ramming my back against the armrest of the couch in my haste to put space between us.

"Ow! Shit!" I said a bit too loudly. I immediately stilled, rubbing my back as I listened for any movement upstairs, hoping that James hadn't woken up. There was utter silence coming from the second floor. Thankful that my son was still asleep, I looked over at Edward. A bewildered expression spread across his face.

"Damn it, Bella. Stop pulling away from me," he said, sounding annoyed.

With those words, memories from fourteen years ago flooded my mind when the illusion that Edward and I would be together forever had been crushed and turned to dust.

"It's a hard habit to break," I muttered.

Edward continued to stare at me, appearing rather irritated.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

I took a very deep breath. "Edward, remember that conversation you had with Rose the Spring of our senior year when you finally decided to go to UM?"

He immediately became apprehensive, his body stiffening.

"I had lots of conversations with Rose about college," he mumbled, and I knew he was evading an honest answer so I pushed for more.

"This was _the one_ – Rose was very excited. Don't you remember her mentioning all the hot college babes you would meet, and how all the girls just _loved_ football players," I spat bitterly.

My hand crept up to my chest and rubbed the skin through my shirt – trying to ease the pain in my heart as I remembered overhearing that particular conversation. I had never been good enough for Edward, not then and certainly not now. I had always believed he would be better off without me and that day Rosalie confirmed my greatest fears.

Edward's mouth opened and closed, but there was no sound as he stared at me, dumbfounded. I could feel being pulled under by all my fears and the never-ending pain of abandonment, the insecurity and unworthiness that had for so long been a part of my life.

As he reached to touch my hand, I instinctively pulled away.

"Bella, what the hell?" he asked angrily and a little too loudly.

"Geesh, be quiet," I whispered forcefully. "You're going to wake James."

I stood up, walking over to the bottom of the staircase, listening for any sound, but it seemed he was still sleeping. I returned to the living room, but felt like I needed space so I sat in the armchair across from the couch. He stared at me in disbelief, and I could see him becoming more and more agitated as his brows furrowed and his fists clenched.

"You have not changed at all, have you?" he hissed angrily, gritting his teeth. "I have no idea what you think you overheard, and I don't understand why you withdrew from me then, and I sure as hell don't know why you're doing it now. If you're not sure about _us_, I can't do this again. I won't, Bella – I cannot live through another fourteen years like this. I just...I can't."

Edward shook his head as he stood up. "Bella, I love you, but I won't let you put me through this again."

His words, though spoken in anger, actually ignited a flicker of hope inside me. So, I had a choice to make. Let him go because of my fears or try to make him understand what had prompted me to release him all those years ago. I was still fairly certain he'd eventually leave me anyway, but I had to at least try to give us a chance. And give him the choice, because if I let him walk out now, I was again making that choice for him, wasn't I?

"Edward," I said, just loud enough to get his attention. "There's a lot to tell, and if you want to hear it, please come back. However, if you'd rather go, I'll understand."

A tear trickled down my cheek as I spoke those words – it _was_ his choice, it always had been. He had just never realized it. He may have thought I hadn't given him a choice the first time, but he was wrong. He had made his choice, forcing _me_ to make mine. This time, however, there would be no doubt. I would tell him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

If he still wanted to go after that, I would not stop him.

Before I realized it, I found myself in Edward's arms as he pulled me up from the chair, against his body. I laid my cheek on his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. We stood there for a moment before his hands came to my face, bringing his lips to mine. I knew it would be so easy to get carried away, our bodies seemed to be physically in tune with each other even if our brains were a million miles apart.

Which was exactly the reason that we needed to talk. Using all the willpower I could muster, I finally broke our kiss, but didn't pull away – I just stood there, looking up at him.

"Come," I whispered. "Let's talk."

EPOV

The instant Bella mentioned the conversation with Rose, I knew exactly what she was referring to. No decision either before or since had caused me so much anguish. The day I agreed to accompany my sister to the University of Miami, leaving Bella to attend the University of North Carolina without me was by far the most difficult and painful decision I had ever made. Abandoning my plans with Bella and choosing Rose had filled me with anxiety like nothing else had up to that point in my life.

There were two reasons I had succumbed to my sister's wish. The first was that we had never been apart. We may have been fraternal twins, but we were probably closer than most identical twins. We were inseparable, but never more so then after our mother's death. I had vowed that Rose would never feel that kind of pain – the pain of losing someone – again. There really was no choice. I had to go with her, but having to choose my sister's well-being over that of the love of my life broke my heart.

It was the second reason, that allowed me to sleep at night.

I had been certain that no matter what, Bella and I would be together. Well, at least that was what I'd thought at the time. I knew it would be difficult, but I was sure that we could withstand the distance. I'd even checked into the prices of plane tickets for long weekends so I could be with Bella – after all, she was my reason for living. The best news came when Emmett got accepted to UM. He had been on a waiting list which had ultimately forced my hand to agree to go to UM, but once Emmett received his acceptance, I immediately called UNC hoping that my space was still available.

I was sadly disappointed.

I was informed that since I'd advised them that I wouldn't be attending, they had immediately released my spot to someone else. They told me that provided I made decent grades during my time at UM, I was almost guaranteed to be accepted as a transfer student the following year.

I was determined to make our relationship work, and I couldn't wait to tell Bella. I knew she was disappointed, but it was only one year, and I'd visit as often as possible. I had tried to reassure her that I'd call every day and visit every possible chance I got, but she seemed to drift away from me as soon as I had given her the news that I would attend UM, and I didn't understand why. I loved her with all my heart.

Sure, girls always tried to flirt with me, and while the attention I received from them was flattering, I never really paid them much mind. The only one for me was Bella, and I seemed to be losing her before we even had to leave for college.

Then came the awful day that she broke me, shredding my heart into thousands of pieces, nearly leaving me for dead. The memories of that horrible moment were still vivid in my mind so when she pulled away from me as we sat on her couch, I nearly flipped out.

I could not believe she was doing this to me.

Again.

To make matters worse, after she got up to check on her kid, she walked back into the room and sat in the armchair. Not next to me – on the fucking other side of the room! I couldn't take her rejection anymore – I wouldn't survive it and to me, her actions spoke volumes. She had shattered my heart and my life before, and the limbo I'd been in for fourteen fucking years had nearly killed me.

Nothing had changed. Nothing at all. Bella was still pulling away, and I could feel that I was losing her again.

Suddenly, I had enough.

I couldn't allow myself to fall again.

_Too late, fucker._

I could see clearly for the first time in fourteen years, and although I knew I would be devastated in the foreseeable future, I would not allow her to take me down like she had before. If she wasn't dedicated to us, I would walk right out the door.

_Good luck with that_!

_Shut the fuck up_!

"You have not changed at all, have you?" I spat irately, gritting my teeth in complete frustration. "I have no idea what you think you overheard, and I don't understand why you withdrew from me then, and I sure as hell don't know why you're doing it now. If you're not sure about _us_, I can't do this again. I won't, Bella – I cannot live through another fourteen years like this. I just...I can't."

I was fuming. I needed to leave. I could feel my chest cracking open again as I stood up. I couldn't even look at her, the need to run so great that when I spun on my heels, I nearly tripped over the throw rug. I was halfway to the door when I heard her voice calling my name in what sounded like desperation.

It brought me up short.

"There's a lot to tell," she whispered. "And if you want to hear it, please come back. However, if you'd rather go, I'll understand."

I wasn't sure I could go through this with Bella again, and I was fairly certain that Rose would not be so generous with her time and support if I allowed my heart to be ripped to shreds by Bella a second time around. My mind ran through the past fourteen years as I recalled all the pain, the loneliness and the emptiness.

In that instant I knew I had to take a chance because I also remembered the love, the happiness and the profound joy I had felt when I'd run into her again just a few days ago.

I had never stopped loving Bella.

She had made a terrible mistake by leaving, and I would not follow in her footsteps. In that moment, moving faster than I thought humanly possible, I returned to her side, pulling her into an embrace as I promised myself I would never let her go again.

The warmth of her body against mine caused an immediate reaction. My mind and heart may have been wary of our reunion, but other parts of my anatomy jumped to attention. It was as if our bodies spoke a language all of their own. I told myself we needed to talk, but all I really wanted to do was to basically tear our clothes off and fuck us both into oblivion.

I felt her weight shift ever so slightly, causing her to rub against me and with no further thought, I took her face in my hands and kissed her soundly. She responded hesitantly, and I could sense that she wasn't quite into this as much as I had hoped.

Yeah – we need to talk. I probably should have stopped kissing her at that point but I needed to feel her. For once, Bella was stronger than me as she ended our kiss and looked up at me.

"Come. Let's talk," Bella said quietly.

I refused to let go of her, afraid she would disappear, so I kept my arm around her and escorted her back toward the sofa. I sat down, pulling Bella down on my lap. She started to move, but I hugged her tightly.

"Stay here. Please," I whispered. "I need to feel you." I locked eyes with her, and a smile slowly spread across her face.

"I think we'd be more comfortable if we laid on the couch together," she whispered in reply.

_Yes, please_! _Lay right on top of me, baby. Anytime you want._

_Fuck, shut up, you horny bastard._

"Yes, I agree, but would we actually talk in that position?" I asked, chuckling.

Bella giggled before answering. "We will. We need to."

I heard her sigh as she stood up, taking a seat next to me as she curled into my side.

_Whatever you say, baby...come lie on top of me. No, not next to me...damn it...on top of me! _

_Ah, fuck. This is probably better for the actual talking part._

_Hide the boner, dude._

_Shut up. How old are you?_

I slipped off my shoes, extended my legs and propped my feet up on her coffee table before looking over at her questioningly. She nodded, a smirk on her lips as she placed one hand on my thigh and the other on the side of my chest as she furthered leaned against me. It felt so perfect to have her in my arms. I could have sworn that I actually purred. I heard Bella giggle as I felt my dick twitch. I closed my eyes, willing away the hard-on in my pants, breathing in the scent of her perfume.

_Hell, that sure as shit didn't help, you idiot. Sniff her some more, why don't you._

_Quick, think of Emmett in a bikini._

_Yeah, that did it._

I cleared my throat. "Would you like to begin?"

After a moment or two, Bella nodded.

"After overhearing your conversation with Rosalie, I realized that she wanted to break us up."

"What? Why would she do that?" I asked, totally taken aback. Rose liked Bella back then. She would never have done anything to sabotage my happiness. I was certain of it.

"Well, why else would she insist on you following her when she had Emmett?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"Emmett hadn't been accepted at that point, sweetheart. He was still on the waiting list," I replied.

"Oh," she frowned, quiet for a moment before continuing. "Why would she encourage you with thoughts of all the college girls who loved football players?"

"Bella, she was just joking. I don't think Rose ever realized how deep my feelings for you were until you –" I broke off.

_Fuck. Well done, Masen. Made her cry again._

_Asshole!_

"I'm so sorry," Bella sobbed into my shirt, and I could feel her tears soaking through to my skin. Not the most pleasant feeling, but I pulled her closer anyway, hugging her tight. I felt like a complete shit.

_Make it better, fast_!

_Roger that_.

"You're here now," I mumbled into her hair, kissing the top of her head. For a moment I felt like a fucking teenager because my dick just wouldn't let up, badgering me to free him from the confines and bury him where he wanted to be most. Which would be entirely counterproductive to the current situation.

Bella and I really needed to talk about the past and lay it all out, even though it would be painful – many unresolved issues would be brought to the surface, but we both needed to understand what happened so that we wouldn't repeat the past.

She eventually stopped crying and was silent for a while, tracing patterns on my thigh with her finger as I mentally urged her to move her hand higher and a little to the right. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding when Bella looked up at me.

"Sorry," she said with a twinkle in her eyes. I almost gasped at her. Little minx knew exactly what she was doing to me.

I nearly threw her down on the couch, taking her right then and there, but if her son found us in such a compromising situation, Bella would likely be mortified. And to be honest, I sure as hell didn't want the little guy to see his coach butt-naked either.

The thought was nearly enough to make my hard-on disappear, but then Bella shifted again and I was reduced to throbbing need.

_Fuck_! _This shit ain't happening_.

_Get her off your lap_.

_No, just get her off_!

_Shut the fuck up, you stupid dick_!

_I may be a dick but I ain't stupid...you want it, don't you?_

_Go away. Think of Emmett. Hell, think of Rosalie on top of Emmett_.

_Nothing is gonna make me disappear until I see the inside of Bella's_-

_SHUT UP_!

Maybe I needed to go home. She didn't really seem in the mood to talk, and if I stayed much longer I would not be able to control myself.

"Are you tired? Maybe I should leave," I said dolefully.

"No! Please don't. I am tired, but we need this – I need this," she answered. "And you need to understand the place where I was coming from."

I looked at her and nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"Um, my mother had already left by the time I met you, and Charlie couldn't take care of me," Bella said, pausing momentarily.

"I remember. You lived with your grandparents." I could see such pain in her eyes and wondered what she had kept locked deep inside, hidden away from even me all those years ago.

That pain was also what finally shrank the rabble rouser in my pants. He went into hiding.

"Renee called periodically, always promising to visit – especially for the holidays and my birthday. Her empty promises seemed to grow exponentially larger over the years as did the pain each and every time she failed to call or show up."

I felt Bella shiver in my arms as she spoke, and instinctively I pulled her closer. I had never met Bella's mother, and I was finally beginning to understand why.

"Between my abandonment issues regarding my mom and the fact that my father was emotionally unavailable, I suppose I've always felt insecure," she murmured.

I sat speechless, totally dumbfounded by what I'd heard. I never would have described Bella as insecure – in fact, absolutely the opposite. After a few minutes I found my words.

"You always seemed so happy when we were together," I said, tilting her head up so I could see into her eyes.

"It was because of you. It was always you," she whispered, stretching up to kiss me. As much as I wanted to continue talking, I couldn't resist her. The electrical current that had always passed between us was still there even after everything we'd been through and the kiss, although it started out tender, quickly became heated.

_Cue the snake raising his head again. Fuck_!

_That's the idea, buddy_.

Before I knew what had happened, Bella was straddling my lap and, without thinking, my hips bucked up. The rational part of me screamed at us to stop and talk about this like the adults we were supposed to be, but my body simply reacted the same way it always had to Bella – instant, raging need.

And just like I was fighting the conflicting needs, Bella seemed to be at war with herself, too, as her kisses became more hesitant one minute, then forceful again the next. In one moment she began to pull away, and then in another she lowered herself back down on my lap, rubbing against me.

I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my lips as I threw my head back and closed my eyes, willing my body to stop. I knew Bella would be upset with herself and in turn, with me, if we proceeded, but I _needed _her so badly. Before I could change my mind or lose my determination, I moved my hands to her waist, trying to still her motions before I combusted.

"Talk?" I asked breathlessly.

"Mmmm, yeah. 'Kay," Bella whispered, sounding more seductive than she should.

We looked at each other, knowing what we wanted, but understanding what was needed as we both inhaled deeply at the same time.

"Let's sit down."

We both moved so Bella could curl up against me. I made a point of keeping my dick far away from where it wanted to be, so this talk could actually happen.

Bella took a deep breath.

"After being on the receiving end of disappointment after disappointment from my mother, I had a fairly good idea of what was coming after graduation," she whispered sadly. "It was difficult enough to handle all of Renee's broken promises, but I knew I'd never survive the same disappointment from you. I couldn't bear the agony of knowing that you'd try to promise me the world only to leave me once we started college. I understood the reality of being so far apart, and I knew that Rose planned on hooking you up with someone new. And just as my parents had tried hard and meant well, one day you would ultimately abandon me, too. It was just how things worked for me. I expected it to happen."

I wanted to kick myself in the ass. And then kick hers right after that.

I had never shared with her the numerous conversations I'd had with the UNC admissions office about my plans to transfer. I never told her that I planned on flying up to see her at least once a month. Still, more disconcerting was her belief that I would leave her, forget her just like her mother.

"Bella, do you not understand my love for you at all?" I asked, totally pissed off that she would think so lowly of me and how much she meant to me. "I suppose we're both guilty of not talking with each other, but I can't believe you made the unilateral decision to end us because you thought I'd act like your mother. I can't believe you did that. I was planning on transferring!"

I nearly yelled at that point, angry at Bella's assumptions and flabbergasted at the same time that our lack of communication, from both ends, seemed to have been the reason for this agonizing break-up and the pain I had existed with for the last fourteen years.

Not that I didn't want her, or she didn't want me. No, this whole shit could have been completely avoided if we had only fucking _talked_ to each other.

"You...wait. What did you say?" she asked, appearing absolutely stunned at my admission.

"Once Emmett got accepted to UM, I tried to get my spot back at UNC, but it had already been given to someone else. From what the admission's officer told me, it would have been fairly easy for me to transfer the following year. I mean, we would have been at different schools for a couple of semesters, but I was planning on visiting you at every possible opportunity. I had plans for us," I said, nearly choking on my words.

It had taken us fourteen fucking years to get us talking about our fears and concerns – something we should have done way back when we were discussing our college options. All this pain had been for no reason at all. All these years of separation, of feeling this black hole in my chest, of keeping to myself, always on the outside looking in, did not have to happen.

Bella getting married to some other fucker and having a kid with him didn't have to happen. That should be my kid upstairs. If only we had talked.

If only.

Famous last words.

And I'd be damned if my eyes didn't start watering at that realization.

Bella looked at me as tears welled up in her eyes. She shook her head as she began sobbing in earnest. "I didn't know. I thought –"

I pulled her onto my lap as she laid her head on my shoulder. I tried to settle her down, rubbing her back, but I couldn't help but wonder if she was finally realizing the far-reaching impact of that one decision. A part of me wanted to be angry at her, but I had been there and it hadn't done any good. We had both made mistakes. I never realized how insecure she really was, and she didn't understand my complete and utter devotion to her.

It seemed that somehow she believed I would have been better off without her, and I had believed that she really didn't want me. The mistake she had made had haunted both of us for years, but looking back wouldn't undo the damage. All we could do now was move forward.

The one lingering question I had was how had she been able to move on when I couldn't. I needed an answer to _that_ question, but decided to help her try to find some peace tonight. We'd confronted enough demons for one day.

I stood up, holding her close to me before letting go and laying down on her couch, stretching my legs out in front of me. I tapped my chest.

"Come lay with me for a while."

Bella smiled as she lowered herself on top of me. I wrapped my arms around her, stroking her hair and her back, trying to relax her. It was late and we'd both been through a lot in a short period of time. There was still much to go over, but for now, just being together was all we needed.

Bella whispered, "This is nice."

"Yes, it is," I replied quietly. "Relax, Bella. I'm here now."

"Mmm hmm," she mumbled.

I listened as our breathing patterns meshed into one, and I heard her heart beat in rhythm with mine. I knew I shouldn't stay the night, but after a few minutes Bella was sound asleep. Tightening my arms around her, my own eyelids grew heavy.

I must have fallen asleep without meaning to. When I next opened my eyes, the room was dark and I was alone, still on the couch, with a blanket pulled over me. I looked around the room for a moment, then extricated myself from the covers and got up. Rolling my sore neck, I wandered into the kitchen, hoping to find a clock of some sort to see what time it was.

_Shit, six already. God, need coffee._

I heard water running upstairs so I assumed Bella was taking a shower. I didn't want to leave without seeing her first, so after I flipped on the kitchen light, I began to look around for a coffee pot. After locating that and some coffee, I quickly put on a full pot, not sure how much coffee Bella still drank. Back in high school, she usually wouldn't function at all without drinking at least two cups prior to me picking her up.

Once the coffee was brewing, I snooped around the cabinets and located two mugs. After setting them on the counter, I searched for and found a half bath off the dining area. I ducked in there to throw some water on my face and swish some around my mouth, wishing for a toothbrush which led to an erratic thought of depositing one in her bathroom for my next visit.

_Getting ahead of yourself, Masen_? _What's next – a change of clothes in her closet_?

Ignoring the voice in my head, I walked back into the kitchen where I saw Bella leaning against the counter. As soon as she saw me, she set down her cup and slowly walked toward me. There still seemed to be some hesitancy in her eyes. Well, we couldn't have that so I picked her up in a tight embrace, swinging her around just a little.

Bella giggled quietly.

"Good morning, sweetheart," I whispered, kissing her cheeks and neck before working my way to her lips.

"Good morning to you, too," she replied happily. "Oh, and thanks for the coffee."

"No problem, love," I answered as I watched her blush. Bella had always been beautiful, but she had become absolutely stunning over the years. I released my hold on her as I walked over to the counter, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"How did you sleep?"

"Umm..." she mumbled hesitantly.

"Sore?" I asked with a wink.

"Yeah, a little. Sorry. I didn't actually mean to fall asleep on you."

"It's okay – my back is aching, too," I said, chuckling as I stretched.

"As much as I love you, you are not a comfortable bed." She smiled at me.

"Well, perhaps next time you'll invite me to your room," I teased. "I won't mind."

Bella laughed. "Uh-huh...I'm sure you won't."

"Would you?"

There was a beat of silence before she answered.

"Uh...no, I don't mind either."

"I love you." I took the few steps to her and pulled her against me once more. A quick kiss rapidly turned into a full-blown make-out session, our hands moving all over, touching, caressing, grabbing one another.

I stepped between her legs, pushing her back against the counter. Bella moved one leg up to my hip and one of my hands landed on her perfect ass without any conscious thought, pulling her forward, pressing my rapidly growing erection directly into the junction between her leg. Bella moaned and pulled on my hair.

_Oh yeah. _

_Let's do this_.

And he was back, in full glory, straining against the zipper of my jeans.

"Fuck, Bella," I groaned, shifting my hips forward. Her heel was pressing into the back of my thigh, pushing me harder into her.

"Edward...we have to...not now...I...fuck, I want you...but..."

I knew I needed to leave before her kid woke up, and slowly I came back to my senses. Right about that time, I thought I heard a door open upstairs. I pulled back and looked at Bella, trying to catch my breath. Somehow, my hand would not obey and stayed put, squeezing the firm cheek.

"Bella," I said, panting. "What about your son?"

She cocked her head to one side, listening. "I don't think he's awake yet, but he should be any minute. He gets up kinda early."

"I guess I should get going, huh? I'll finish my coffee and then head home. That okay?"

"Sure, that's fine," she replied, not meeting my eyes. I didn't know whether her uneasy response meant I should leave right away, or if she didn't want me to leave at all. I released her and sat down on one of the stools, leaning my elbows on the breakfast bar as I sipped my coffee. Bella leaned against the counter, playing with the mug in her hand. The silence started to feel awkward. I looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly six-thirty.

Deciding I should head out before James came down, I stood up, walked over to the sink and rinsed out my cup.

"I'll call you later, okay?" I asked and she nodded her assent, still not looking at me. She kept turning the coffee cup in her hands.

"What is it, Bella?"

"I..I...I don't want you to go."

"Babe, I don't want to leave," I assured her. "I can stay, if you want."

She finally raised her head and met my eyes.

"I want you to stay, but I don't think I'm ready to answer questions from a certain eight year old, are you?"

I knew nothing about kids except when we were on the football field so if Bella wasn't ready to talk with her son about our relationship or whatever was going on between us, I certainly wasn't going to argue with her.

"Whatever you decide is fine with me, babe."

She kissed me again before taking my hand and walking me toward the door. She kissed me one more time before opening the door, but before I could take the necessary step outside, I heard a small voice.

"Mom? Oh, hi Coach."

* * *

**Endnote: **Whoops! What's this? A cliffie? Sorry 'bout that. Not. Well, while we work on chapter 4, please let us know what you thought of this one. All reviews are appreciated. Thanks for reading.


	4. The Edges Dissolve

**Author's Note: **Damn, it's been a while. Sorry about that. Seems like we write soooo much better when we sit next to each other. And of course, RL is always a bitch and interferes a lot with the creative process. TwilightMomofTwo would like to thank her husband for keeping the kids out of the writing room today. Confettirainfall thanks her husband for watching the dogs.

As before, we don't own Twilight. We do each own a copy of the books and the movies. And the plot to this story is ours, too.

On with it. See you at the bottom.

* * *

**4. The Edges Dissolve**

_Oh fuck_!

My son's voice brought me up short, and I dropped Edward's hand like a hot potato. I slowly turned around and found James at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing his eyes. As always, his thick mess of dark hair stuck out in all directions, and one of the legs of his pajama bottoms had ridden up to his knee.

"Hey, sweetie," I said with forced cheerfulness. "Did you sleep well?"

My mind was racing, wondering what I should say to my son and how I could possibly explain Edward's presence.

"Mmm hmm," James mumbled as he looked again at the partially opened door and Edward.

"Hey, buddy," Edward said lightheartedly. "Wanna practice this morning?"

James yawned, but I could see the excitement wash over his face as he nodded.

"Yeah!"

I looked between my son and Edward, smiling and feeling a bit optimistic for the first time in years. Perhaps today would be a good day after all.

"You go get dressed, I'll fix breakfast, and then afterward we can all go to the fields."

"Okay, Mom," James shouted over his shoulder as he turned on his heels and sprinted up the stairs.

"Well, it looks like we dodged that bullet," Edward said, chuckling.

"For now," I murmured as my mind began to wander.

"Bella," Edward called to me, yanking me from my musings as he quickly pulled me against his chest. "It's fine. He's fine. We're –" he stopped.

I had a feeling he was going to say 'fine' but we were far from fine. However, we were communicating so I decided to interject.

"We're working on it," I replied with a shy smile.

"Yes, we are," Edward grinned and his eyes sparkled. He leaned down to kiss me before letting me go.

"Did you want to head home first and change?" I asked.

"No, I'm okay. I'll just get all hot and sweaty anyway. I'll shower and change later."

I nodded, reaching for his hand and rubbing my thumb over the back of it. Hot and sweaty Edward sounded rather good to me. Before I could veer off too far into Fantasyland, I sighed as reality set in. I thought about what I'd say to my son and if it would truly be possible for Edward and I to merge our lives together.

We started walking toward the kitchen where I pulled eggs, bacon, milk and butter from the fridge, setting everything on the counter next to the bread.

"You gonna help?" I asked, smiling while he stood there, looking lost and awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. I pointed to the counter half-jokingly.

"You can whisk the eggs and milk together."

Rolling his eyes at me, he walked over, picking up the carton of eggs and jug of milk, along with the bowl I had pulled out of the cabinet and began mixing them. I couldn't help but smile as I reached for the frying pan. Of all the things we needed to work on, this – being together, all domestic in my kitchen – felt just right.

After a few minutes, James came bounding down the stairs.

"I'm ready!" he shouted, sounding more like a herd of elephants than one little boy. I looked at him, attempting to convey some sort of calm, but the happiness that he exuded was contagious. Glancing over at Edward, I was surprised that instead of the annoyance I expected, he was actually smiling.

"Hey, if your mom has me working, I suspect you're next," Edward snickered as I returned my gaze to my son, laughing quietly as James frowned.

"I know...set the table," he mumbled under his breath. I was going to say something, but Edward whispered my name, shaking his head and winked at me. I loved the interaction, the normalcy of the moment and hoped it would continue.

Before long, we were all sitting down, eating and talking happily as if this was just any other morning – until the phone rang. It was still fairly early which meant it could only be one person.

Jumping up from the table, nearly knocking over my chair in the process, I sprinted toward the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bells. Is James ready for me to pick him up?"

I closed my eyes, rubbing forehead.

_Shit!_

I had totally forgotten that Seth was supposed to take James to the park this morning.

"Bells, you there?"

I needed to answer him, find a reason he shouldn't come by.

"Uh, yeah. I'm here. You know, it's okay. You don't have to stop by this morning. We're in the middle of breakfast and I'm not sure he's –"

"Is that Uncle Seth?" James asked loudly.

I cringed as I completed my sentence, "ready."

"He sounds plenty ready to me," Seth said, sounding suspicious. "Bella, what's going on?"

"Uh, I sorta forgot you were coming over," I muttered quietly.

Looking over at Edward I was surprised at the annoyance that seemed to spread across his face. Suddenly, it occurred to me that perhaps Edward thought I was ditching him or worse, keeping something from him. I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks, and nearly dropped the phone. My eyes pleaded with Edward.

"Seth, hold on a sec, would ya?"

I placed the receiver against my chest, hoping to muffle the sound of my voice.

"You okay?" I whispered as my eyes implored him to trust me. I knew I hadn't given him much reason to do that, but this was nothing. Seth was important but not in any way other than my friend. He had been a support to me after Jake had died. Nothing more, nothing less and Edward needed to know that.

He peered at me over his cup of coffee, an empty look in his eyes, not saying a word.

"It's only Seth," I said, speaking a bit louder.

When I was met with yet another blank stare, I knew I needed to be clearer.

"My, uh, brother-in-law?"

After a moment, his expression changed. He still seemed uptight, but no longer annoyed.

I quickly returned to my phone conversation.

"Seth, where are you?"

"Coming around the corner. I'll be there in a minute."

_Well, it's now or never._

"Um, okay, I'll see you in a sec." I hung up, sighed and walked back toward the table. By this time, James had finished eating, so I glanced over at him.

"Honey, would you please go upstairs – slowly – and get a pair of my socks and sneakers?"

He nodded, jumping up from the table and taking off like a bullet.

"I said _slowly_," I called out after him before quickly turning to Edward and reaching my arm across the table, running a finger along the back of his hand – the one still tightly gripping the coffee cup.

"Seth will be here in a minute. I forgot he was taking James this morning. If you don't want to meet him, you can go into the bathroom," I blurted out, not sure what else to say.

"Do you not want me to meet him?" Edward asked, his voice cold, distant.

"No, no – that's not it at all. I just didn't want you to feel...pressured. I want this." I was motioning back and forth between us. "You know that, right?"

Edward huffed.

"Yeah, sure," he muttered, heading toward the bathroom.

"Wait. Please," I said. "Do you want to stay?"

"Do you want me to? I mean, you seemed...shit, Bella. I don't know..." Edward seemed conflicted.

We still had so many things to overcome – so many conversations that still needed to be had, but right now there wasn't any time. James would be back down any second, followed by Seth who would be arriving momentarily.

Before either of us made a conscious decision, there was a knock on the door. The handle turned just as James came flying down the stairs.

"Uncle Seth!" James yelled in excitement as Seth walked into the house.

"Hey there, sport! Ready to go to the park?" Seth looked from James to me and then glanced at Edward, a surprised expression on his face.

James looked at me, trying not to appear disappointed. I had a feeling he wanted to go with Edward – after all, he was James' coach – but he didn't want to hurt Seth's feelings.

It was clear from the expression on Seth's face that he must have been feeling slightly disgruntled, but he spoke quickly so James probably never noticed.

"It's okay, buddy...we can go another time."

"Uh, can't we all go together?" James asked.

I wasn't actually surprised by my son. He had always been such a peacemaker. He hated it when his friends fought with each other, always wanting everyone to be as happy as he was. Even when Jacob died, James had tried to make me smile and ease my suffering.

Those thoughts brought pain to my chest. It should have been my responsibility to ease his suffering. I should have helped my baby more with the loss of his father. From there, my mind immediately turned to Jake. He had been a good father; I would never take that away from him. A good husband however was a completely different matter.

I didn't realize I hadn't answered James' question until I heard his voice again and suspected there was a slight grimace on my face.

"Mommy, you okay?"

I nodded, attempting to smile. "Yes, baby. I'm fine."

James folded his arms across his chest. "I'm not a baby."

He frowned, and I couldn't stop myself from chuckling.

"No, you're not, big guy," Seth answered. "You're the man of the house."

Seth looked directly at Edward, and it almost sounded like a warning. My anger rose instantly. I shot a glare at him, but he only glanced in my direction for a second before he continued to sneer at Edward.

Edward noticed my discomfort.

"Perhaps it's time for me to leave."

My heart began to race. I needed to say something. Edward wanting to leave of his own volition was one thing, but I would not allow Seth to push him away. Just as I was about to lay into Seth, James spoke.

"Don't you want to come with us, Coach? I thought we were going to practice together."

My child's guileless question made me smile. I looked at Edward who seemed to relax a little.

"Sure, sure, kid. If that's what you'd like."

Seth didn't seem too happy with that solution, but he wasn't about to upset James.

And I honestly didn't care how Seth felt about the situation. Or his opinion, for that matter.

Seth drove to the park in his car while James and I rode with Edward. I had been afraid that Edward would insist we take separate cars so he could leave whenever he was ready, but maybe with Seth being with us, perhaps Edward figured if he got bored that Seth would take us home.

I sighed. Why did I torment myself with questions I had no answers to?

After arriving at the park and a few moments of awkwardness, the boys fell into an easy rhythm of throwing, catching and running. I had watched Seth and James interact many times over the years, both with and without Jacob. I had also seen Edward practice football during the course of our high school years, but there was something about observing the three of them, interacting and all coming together that sent shivers down my spine.

Could such a possibility truly exist? Would it be this easy to integrate my past and present into a future I never thought possible? And did I even dare to dream?

"Hey, mom! Watch this!"

I looked up in time to see Edward bring back his arm, slamming hundreds of memories from high school into my mind. I watched as the football flew through the air, spiraling in a perfect arc, until it landed easily in the arms of my son.

I clapped excitedly; the smile on James' face was unmistakable. Edward was beaming as if he'd just thrown the game winning touchdown – even Seth looked pleased. James ran over to me, and I bent down, hugging him as he quickly gave me a peck on the cheek and then pushed back.

"Not here, mom." He suddenly looked so grown up as he rolled his eyes at me, causing me to laugh.

"You were great!"

"I know, right?" he laughed.

I looked from Edward to Seth and back again, smiling. I hoped my expression would convey all the happiness and joy I felt in that moment.

EPOV

Well, fucking busted.

Or maybe not.

The kid suddenly showing up at the top of the stairs had been a real downer. He made me nervous. My future with Bella depended on his approval, I knew that, so his catching me sneaking out the door was just a bit nerve-wracking. Bella handled it like a pro, and it seemed as if the boy had no idea that I'd been trying to leave instead of just coming by, especially when I casually threw in that I was there to invite him for an impromptu practice session.

He bought it, running off happily to get dressed.

I didn't realize that Bella was such a good liar.

I made a note to myself to ask her about that later. It certainly explained why I had bought her story fourteen years ago without even questioning it.

Preparing breakfast with her in her little kitchen was an experience. It felt natural, as if I was supposed to be there, watching her fry the bacon – even watching the little guy set the table held a certain degree of familiarity – like I belonged. As was always the case, my mind wandered to the dark side.

_You could have had this all along. This should have been your life. See what she stole from you?_

Refusing to let my inner demons get the better of me, I shoved that voice to the back of my mind, concentrating hard on just being here with her, enjoying this moment, hoping we could have more of them.

It seemed like possible disaster had been avoided and I rather enjoyed sitting at the table with Bella and her son, eating a breakfast we had prepared together – well, at least until her brother-in-law called. At first, I didn't know who it was, and I was irrationally seething with jealousy at the thought that there was someone else with whom she had made plans.

When she told me it was Seth, I was only marginally mollified. Was he still her brother-in-law? What was their relationship exactly? How much influence would he have over her decisions?

It was easy to figure things out when people were alive, but when someone died – well, that was a whole other story. For a brief moment I was reminded of my mother's passing. I had never really thought of the state of limbo my father had been in for years.

I must have zoned out because initially I didn't realize Bella was talking to me.

"... be here in a minute. I forgot he was taking James this morning. If you don't want to meet him, you can go into the bathroom."

Her big, brown eyes were searching mine carefully. As her words sank in, the anger flared again.

_What the fuck? Why would I want to hide from him...unless there is something else going on? Did she replace one brother with another?_

"Do you not want me to meet him?"

I hadn't meant to sound so angry, but my jealousy was getting the better of me. I saw her lips moving, but I was too enraged to really hear her. I thought she'd said something about wanting us to work out, but I wasn't sure. I huffed and just decided to agree with whatever it was she'd said.

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled before turning to toward the bathroom.

"Wait. Please. Do you want to stay?"

My mind and heart were warring with each other, one telling me to stay and the other saying 'get the hell outta here', and I was tired on top of it all.

"Do you want me to? I mean you seemed...shit, Bella. I don't know..."

She never had a chance to say anything else because just at that moment someone knocked on the door as her son flew down the stairs.

A man walked through the door – I assumed he was her brother-in-law or whatever the fuck he was – and as he looked at her, I could have sworn I saw something more than familial love coming from his eyes.

_You're just tired and you're being a jealous ass. Stop this shit now._

Maybe I really did need some sleep. I wasn't focusing on what was happening around me, but then again I didn't really want to know the precise relationship between them. I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard Seth snidely say, "No, you're not, big guy. You're the man of the house."

It didn't go unnoticed that he looked directly at me when he spoke, a silent warning in his eyes. What the hell? His brother was dead. Did he want her now that her husband, his own brother, was out of the picture?

I wasn't in a mood for this shit so I decided to go.

"Perhaps it's time for me to leave."

Bella had a bewildered expression on her face, but I almost didn't care. I was beginning to think that my doubts were justified – that this thing between Bella and me wasn't going to work out, no matter how hard I tried. There seemed to be too many things standing between us. It was better if I cut the cord now and just disappeared.

One heartbreak was enough.

"Don't you want to come with us, Coach? I thought we were going to practice together." He looked disappointed.

And just like that, I knew I was a goner. Not only did Bella own my heart, but there was something about the kid that I just couldn't shake. Maybe it was that he was so much like her; not only in looks but also in mannerism. He didn't seem to look much like his uncle.

His innocent question solidified that as long as the kid wanted me around, I'd be there. He'd already lost his father and I wouldn't let him down just because of my insecurities.

"Sure, sure, kid. If that's what you'd like."

Seth didn't seem to like me, but I didn't give a shit. Unless and until Bella and the kid told me to leave, I was staying. As we walked out to the cars, I got the immediate impression that he wanted them to ride with him.

_Over my dead __body._

I quickly opened the passenger door for Bella and James. She looked a little hesitant, but there was no way she was riding with _him_. James looked thrilled to be driving in my car – what kid wouldn't be? My Mustang was a great ride even if you didn't know anything about cars.

Thoughts of teaching James how to drive flooded my mind.

_What the hell was that? _

_I am obviously growing a vagina after all these years. _

_This might be a good thing._

_Or not. If I'm growing attached to this kid and things don't work out with Bella..._

I blinked a few times, trying to clear those images out of my head as we drove to the park. James chattered excitedly in the backseat, while Bella sat next to me in relative silence, only giving perfunctory answers to her son.

I was doing pretty much the same, but James didn't notice, happily talking our ears off the entire time.

I wasn't sure how much fun it would actually be, but the kid was good and Seth chilled out after a bit. I threw, James caught – most of the time – and Seth did his best to block my passes. I couldn't help but smirk – it seemed I still had the arm after all these years.

_Get over yourself. _

Every now and then I'd glance over at Bella and remembered the days back in high school when she'd sit in the bleachers, watching a game. Then I was reminded of our extracurricular activities. I smiled, thinking of the hot sex we used to have after a game, when I was knocked backward on my ass as a ball clocked me in the head.

"Are you okay, Coach?" I heard a voice shout from the distance.

I opened my eyes to find myself flat on my back as a few faces were staring down at me.

Rubbing my head, I answered, "Uh, yeah...I think so. You've got some arm, kid."

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Um, yup...sure do."

I sat up slowly, feeling a little dizzy. "Edward, are you okay?"

I started to stand up, but was still a bit cockeyed. I was a bit wobbly on my feet when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Dude, come sit over here. James, why don't you run to your mom for a minute. Get something to drink."

I nodded to whoever was speaking, assuming it was Seth.

"I heard you played back in the day." I heard him snicker. "Thought you'd be a bit tougher."

"I played wide receiver – faster than most – and I usually caught the ball," I snorted, rubbing my head.

"More focused, too, maybe," he replied. "Don't think I didn't see you looking at Bella."

"Yeah, well...," I said a little sheepishly. "Just remembering, I guess."

"Remembering what?"

"We dated all through high school – didn't Bella tell you?"

"No, she just said you guys were old friends." He looked at me curiously.

"Huh. Yeah, not sure I would classify it that way." I couldn't help the pain that flashed through me, twisting my mouth into a grimace.

"It sure looked like you are more than _that_ this morning..." His look became calculating.

I didn't know how to respond to that – unsure how much Bella wanted him to know and slightly miffed that she had hidden our history from him.

"I suppose I can guess why she wouldn't want you to know," I muttered mostly to myself.

"What do you mean?" There was an edge to his voice.

"Let's just say it didn't end well."

"What did you do?" he accused.

I bristled at the insinuation. "What makes you assume it was me?"

"So what are you saying – she broke your heart?" I guess he meant it jokingly but the words just hit home. The familiar pain burned in my stomach.

"I guess you could say that." I looked away, towards Bella who sat on the bleachers

"What happened?"

"It's a long story, and I really don't want to get into that right now. I also think you should hear it from Bella, not me."

"Okay..."

"Look, we just reconnected a few days ago...gimme a chance, okay?"

"Let me put it to you straight, man. Bella's like an older sister to me. I'm a little protective of her and James, and I guess I just want to know what your intentions are. She hasn't let anyone get close to her or James since my brother died, and I just wanna make sure you're not gonna hurt her. Know what I mean? If she's just a piece of ass to you or some kind of revenge fuck – well, I'd hate to see you get your pretty face hurt, got it?"

His eyebrow rose as he challenged me. I wiped my hand across my face before I answered.

"It's not like that, alright? Look – I'm still in love with her, okay? So no, revenge has nothing to do with it."

He snorted.

"I'm supposed to believe that you've been...what...like pining away for her all this time? Seriously? Sell stupid somewhere else, dude."

"Well, believe what you want – I don't care. I just want another chance with her."

I got up and picked up the ball. "Let's just get back to playing, alright?"

He looked at me dubiously for a bit longer. I returned his stare until he looked away.

"Yeah, okay," he finally said.

James ran back over which effectively ended the conversation, and we resumed playing. Seth seemed to warm up to me a bit more after our little chat.

I looked over at Bella who was smiling like I hadn't seen in so many years. Her guard seemed to be down as I talked and horsed around with James and Seth. It was great to see her like that again and I thought, just for a moment, how it might be.

"Mom, I'm hungry!"

James sounded a little whiny, but I could understand the feeling. I was starving myself, not realizing how much time had passed.

"I guess we should get you home," Bella replied, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Why don't I take him?"

I glanced over at Seth – was he really doing what I thought he was doing?

"Um, that's not necessary, Seth."

"Please, Mom?" It was obvious from James' pleading voice that he enjoyed spending time with his uncle. It was also clear that Bella had a hard time saying no to James.

"Are you sure, Seth?" Bella seemed conflicted, although it wasn't clear to me why she wouldn't jump at the chance to spend some time alone with me. There was still a lot of things we needed to talk about.

_Right – talking. That whole communication thing is what caused this clusterfuck._

"Yup – positive." Seth smiled and winked at me. I couldn't hold in my grin. It looked like he was giving me the benefit of the doubt.

"Okay..."

"Thanks, Mom!" Before I could say 'bye' James ran off toward the parking lot and Seth's car.

Seth laughed, but before he left he turned to me.

"Nice meeting you, man."

"Likewise," I replied, feeling a bit relieved as I shook his hand.

"Thanks, Seth," Bella said with a smile. "Call me later?"

"Sure thing."

Once they left I turned back to Bella.

"Would you like some lunch?" I asked with a smile.

"I _am_ hungry, but I'm not sure it's food I want."

Bella stared at me with the sexiest, hottest, come-fuck-me look I had ever seen on her face. My dick was instantly hard and I nearly couldn't restrain the urge to just throw her to the ground and have my way with her.

I had just enough good sense left to grab her hand and drag her towards the car.

"Right. Food can wait. My place or yours?"

We both began laughing so hard we nearly fell over. I felt sixteen again, no cares in the world, happy and in love. I scooped Bella up in my arms and ran with her to my car.

I put her down on the passenger side and kissed her. The taste of her lips on mine and her scent were overwhelming as I placed kisses down her neck. She nibbled on my ear, groaning as I sucked on the soft skin, pushing her harder against the door and grinding my groin into hers. I moved my mouth back to hers, flicking my tongue across her lower lip.

"I think we should get in the car," she whispered.

"Mmm hmm." My tongue delved into her mouth, stroking and rolling around hers. Her hands gripped my hair and pulled, and my hips automatically jerked against her.

"I need to be inside you," I groaned. "Fuck, Bella, tell me I can."

Bella pulled back a little.

"Right here?" she teased.

I put my hands on her ass, lifting her as her legs wrapped around my waist, grinding her pussy against my now painful erection. I grunted. The thin material of the shorts I wore didn't hide my arousal. My fingers dug into her flesh, sliding towards the promised land underneath the hem of her shorts. I could feel the wetness that had already seeped out of her on my fingertips.

"Fuck!"

Letting go with one hand, I fumbled blindly for the door handle and ripped the door open, then dropped Bella unceremoniously onto the seat.

She giggled.

I ran around the car, hopped in and peeled out of the parking lot.

"In a bit of a hurry?" Bella asked seductively.

"What ever gave you that idea?" I replied innocently.

She giggled again, and my heart soared at the sound. This was the Bella I remembered – the carefree girl I fell in love with so long ago, the woman who still owned me heart and soul.

And the sooner I could be buried balls-deep inside her, the better.

Pulling into the driveway, I looked over at Bella. She still had a gleam in her eye so I knew she was thinking what I was thinking. I smiled, reaching for her hand as I brought it to my lips.

Before I had a chance to react, Bella snatched her hand away and pushed open the car door. As she quickly jumped out she teased, "If you want it, you gotta catch me first!"

Hopping out of the car, I saw there was really nowhere for her to go. Whichever way she went, she'd have to get past me.

"You can't run from me now, Bella," I grinned menacingly.

She froze at my words and I realized what I'd said. My grin faltered and was replaced with contrition.

"Shit, honey – that's not what I meant."

Apparently my freaked out distraction was just what she needed as she ran around behind the back of the car and toward the backyard.

"I know..."

_Damn...I let her get away again...but it won't take fourteen years to get her back this time._

I chased after her, catching her just as she reached the gate.

"Gotcha!"

She laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Now that you got me, what are you gonna do with me?"

I waggled my eyebrows suggestively.

"I can think of a few things."

Bella smiled.

"Take me to bed, Edward."

_Yes, ma'am._

**

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**

Endnote:

That's all she wrote. At least for now. Please leave a review. Until next time. 


	5. With Hearts Wide Open

**Author's Note: **

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it today and tomorrow. We are presenting this chapter earlier than you may have expected, just to spread a little Holiday cheer. While you are stuffed with turkey, ham and a myriad of side dishes, we hope you'll enjoy chapter 5 of our little story. A lot of you were a little perturbed by the cock-blocking in the last chapter...fear not. No cocks were blocked or came to any other harm in this latest installment.

And of course, The Twilight Saga and all related characters are still not ours. We make no money from this. You knew that. We just play in the sandbox SM created for all of us.

I'd like to thank my husband who puts up with me sitting at the PC all night long, and ConfettiRainfall's husband lets her fly up to see me whenever the mood strikes us. We wrote the initial draft for this chapter sitting next to each other, giggling our heads off. We like it that way.

Ready?

Aaand...

Go!

* * *

**5. With Hearts Wide Open**

From Chapter 4:

"Take me to bed, Edward."

_Yes, ma'am._

ooo~~~OOO~~~ooo

BPOV

Edward threw me over his shoulder and playfully slapped my ass as he walked towards his front door. I giggled and returned the favor. Once inside the house, he set me down and shut the door with his foot. He cradled my face in his hands.

"Bella," he whispered before he crushed his lips to mine. I gasped as the familiar spark shot through me, and he wasted no time pushing his tongue into my mouth. I met him eagerly, throwing my hands around his neck and burying them in the hair at the nape of his neck.

Our tongues stroked and twirled, and he moaned, running his hands down my sides and grasping my waist. He pulled my hips against his, and I could feel his erection against my stomach. The kiss became fevered and as I ground myself against him, his hands pulled on the hem of my shirt.

I toed off my shoes and heard him do the same. His musky scent overwhelmed my senses, and I moaned as I felt his fingers on my bare, overheated skin. He walked me backwards further into the house as my shirt was pulled over my head, breaking our kiss for a moment until he carelessly discarded it on the floor before reclaiming my lips.

My fingers twisted into the fabric of his shirt as his nimble hands found the button of my shorts. They joined my shirt a few seconds later and I found myself clad only in my simple cotton bra and panties. And white sneaker socks.

Not the sexiest I had ever felt, but he didn't seem to mind as he stepped back a little and simply looked at me with hooded eyes.

"God, you are still just as beautiful as you were back then."

I stared at him, licking my lips.

"Edward," I moaned. "Please..."

"What do you need, baby?"

"You," I whimpered. "I need you."

"Fuck..." The look in his eyes changed for a moment as he inhaled sharply. "Say it again."

"I need you, Edward. I need you...need you...only you...please."

"Oh God, yes. Yes, baby. You don't know how much I needed to hear that."

His honest statement brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to reply how much I had needed him over the years, but then he stepped towards me and pulled me against his chest. The dam broke.

I gasped in need and desire as he bent down to kiss me again. His hands grabbed under my ass and lifted me up. My legs automatically wrapped around his waist as he strode quickly towards his bedroom.

Once inside, he laid me reverently onto the bed, holding himself above me. I lifted my hips against him and was rewarded with a groan.

"Ungghh...fuck, Bella..."

He pushed himself up on his arms above me as his fingers found my face.

"Slow down a little, honey...we have time. I want to savor you."

He sat back on his knees and ripped his shirt over his head, then pulled my socks off my feet, pressing soft kisses to my ankles. He kissed his way up my legs, following the hot trail of his hands until he found the edge of my panties. His fingers curled inside the hem and as he pulled them down, his mouth followed the path of the fabric.

He crawled up my body and devoured my mouth again, his hands expertly opening the clasp of my bra, pulling the straps down my arms. He threw it across the room as his lips closed over my nipple and his tongue flicked the hardened peak.

The loud moan escaping my mouth echoed around the room.

A nasty little voice inside me whispered how much more experienced and efficient he seemed. I didn't remember him being so skillful. Having lost our virginities to each other, we had mostly fumbled our way through.

His hands seemed to wander over my skin effortlessly, knowing exactly how to touch me, how to set my skin on fire. He played my body as if he had been doing it for years.

This was not the teenage boy I remembered. This was a man who knew his way around a woman's body, having acquired the expertise that could only come from numerous encounters.

I hadn't expected him to remain celibate – Edward had always been a very sexual being, and our after-practice sessions had been frequent and passionate.

Clearly, he had fucked plenty of women while we'd been apart, gracing them with the strength and power of his body and the emotions of his beautiful heart. My heart hurt with the knowledge that what should have been mine was given to others. What should have been ours, I threw away out of fear and insecurity.

And I had, because of my own stupid assumptions and decisions, missed out on all of the love and passion that this man possessed.

I had no right to be jealous.

Still, the pain of regret was sharp and piercing.

Of course, Edward noticed.

"Hey," he whispered. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." I smiled at him, trying not to cry. "It's stupid."

He searched my eyes and with a sigh, laid down next to me, pulling my head to his chest.

"Do you not want this, Bella?"

"God, Edward – I want this more than anything. I want you."

"Then what just happened? I felt you pull away. Damn it, Bella – I can't do this if you're not all the way in."

I lifted myself up and wrapped my arms around his neck, confessing into the crook of his shoulder.

"I am. Please, believe me. I want you, I want this – I want there to be an _us_. It's just...God, how do I say this...you're so much better at this than what I remember. And there's this voice in my head that nags at me that you obviously have...well...grown in that area, and it reminded me that there have been other women. It's stupid...I shouldn't feel jealous, but I do."

Edward inhaled sharply and pushed me back. His eyes were narrowed and his mouth distorted in anger.

"Are you fucking seriously asking me if I've been with other women since you left me?"

He abruptly got off the bed and started pacing across the floor, pulling on his hair.

"Jesus, Bella – what did you expect me to do? Be a fucking monk? Just me and my hand? I'm a guy, alright? Yeah, there've been others. So fucking what? I didn't love any of them – they were a means to an end, just to get off. I've tried for fourteen fucking years to get over you, and you throw this shit in my face that I wasn't celibate for all that time? Seriously?"

"No," I whispered, "that's not what I meant."

It was as if he hadn't heard me – he just continued to rant.

"Do you realize that I couldn't even _look_ at another woman until after I finished college? Hell, the one time I tried to have a relationship with someone new, it blew up in my face when I screamed _your_ fucking name during my orgasm."

I jumped off the bed and went over to him, wrapping my arms around him.

"No, Edward – I didn't expect that at all. I knew there'd be consequences but I never allowed myself to think of you with anyone else. It would have been too painful to even consider."

He relaxed slightly in my arms, his expression softening.

"And I know this wasn't a great moment to realize it, I know that. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry – please, I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

Edward huffed.

"What about you? It's not like you didn't have sex in the last fourteen years. Your kid is obvious proof of that."

I smiled sadly. It was time for the truth.

"James is the result of a drunken one-night stand and a broken condom. His father was the first and the _only_ to touch me in any sexual way since I left you. Jacob's parents insisted we marry after they found out I had gotten pregnant. I was never in love with him. Sure, I grew to care for him – he was my child's father after all, but he could never replace you."

"What?" He stared at me incredulously.

I nodded. "Yeah, they called me the ice queen in college because I shot down all offers. I never went out, and I just wasn't interested in anyone. I didn't have you, and I sure as hell didn't want anyone else."

"Okay. Let's say I believe that...then why Jacob? What changed?"

"I went out with colleagues from work for my twenty-fourth birthday. They didn't give me much of a choice, just dragged me to some club. I drank more than I should have and woke up the next day in Jacob's apartment, ashamed at myself for having sex with a man I knew nothing about. I left with the intention of never seeing him again."

Edward pulled me towards the bed and offered me his shirt. I pulled it over my head to cover my nakedness. As comfortable as I felt around him, this conversation was happening now, and I didn't want to be naked for it. I felt exposed enough as it was.

"So, then what?"

"Well, it turned out that he knew one of my co-workers, and over the next several weeks, he contacted me repeatedly to ask me out. I blew him off every time. I just wasn't interested and regretted ever having slept with him."

"Persistent little fucker," Edward joked half-heartedly.

I smiled a little. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Anyway, I kept telling him I wasn't interested, pissed with my colleague for giving out my number, and eventually, after about three weeks, he stopped calling. And that was fine with me. I knew I'd never love anyone else but you."

I took a breath , remembering the lines on the peeing stick turning blue and the pangs of regret that shot through me at the realization that I had, with that extra line, lost Edward for good. Even if he could forgive me for lying and leaving him like I had, sitting in that bathroom I had been certain that he would not even consider taking me back if he were to find out I was carrying a child that wasn't his.

I looked at my hands, unable to meet his eyes.

"A week later, I figured out that I was pregnant."

The statement hung in the room. Edward was silent.

"I called him, because I felt that he deserved to know. I didn't expect anything from him, and I was going to raise this child on my own, but he was excited to hear from me and when I told him the news, he wanted to be involved. I guess he told his parents, and they demanded we get married so the child would have his name. I didn't want that, nor did he – I really didn't know the guy and I worried that we'd only end up divorced, thus giving my child the same kind of circumstances I grew up with."

"Yeah, I guess I can see your reasoning there. I wish you would have called me. I would have helped you."

I stared at him, too stunned to speak as the tears finally overflowed and I began to cry. He grabbed my hands and squeezed them, then pulled me into his arms again. I rested my cheek against his chest.

"Why didn't you call me, Bella?" He sounded disappointed. I wiped the tears off my face and looked up at him.

"The thought did cross my mind, but Edward – I figured you had moved on, and I sure as hell didn't deserve your help. I had hurt you so badly, slept with another guy, ending up pregnant and single, and I assumed there was no way you'd ever even consider helping me. Besides, if you had moved on like I intended for you, I didn't want to mess up the life you had built for yourself."

"What life?" he scoffed. "There has been no one in my heart since you. If it weren't for Rose and Emmett, I'd be a fucking hermit. There is no life without you, Bella. And you have got to stop thinking you can decide what's best for me. Even if I had moved on, we do have history. I would never have turned my back on you if you needed help. It should have been my choice. Damn it, it wouldhave been my choice. If I had known I would have been there – no matter what."

I raised my hand to stroke his cheek and looked into his eyes. "Edward, I'm so sorry. I just thought...well, I thought I didn't deserve better."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Bella – this is bullshit. You didn't even give me the option. I didn't even get the chance to make that choice."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "You're right. I took that choice from you, too."

His arms snaked around my waist and pressed me closer. The anger melted from his face, only to be replaced by pain.

"So why did you marry him?"

"His parents – they badgered and bullied both of us until we decided that it was just easier to give in. It was also in James' best interest, and since I had lost you for good, at least in my mind, I didn't have any more fight in me. We got married three months before James was born, at the courthouse. I refused to have a reception or any kind of celebration, and Jacob didn't care either way."

"But you loved the guy eventually?"

"I tried to make things work, and Jacob was a good guy, at least initially. I grew to love him, and we had a reasonably good marriage for about four years after James was born. I focused all of my energy on my son. I thought of you occasionally, but I had buried that pain deep in the back of my mind, and I just tried to concentrate on my child and my marriage. I wanted to make things right for him. It didn't work. Shortly before James turned five, I found out that Jacob had been carrying on an affair for about six months."

"What a fucking loser. Why didn't you divorce his ass?"

"Well, he said he was sorry, and promised to break it off with the other woman, and to be honest, since I never loved him the way I always loved you, it didn't hurt me as much as it maybe should have. My only concern was my son. He deserved both parents. And maybe I had at that point gotten used to being miserable. Hell, part of me was convinced I deserved to be miserable for what I had done to you. Jacob moved into the spare room while we tried to repair our marriage. It turned out that he lied to me – when he died, he was on his way back from his mistress' house. I was angry that he lied, that he had continued to deceive me when I had put forth an effort to save our marriage."

"What happened to him?"

"He had a car accident."

I felt exhausted, even though I knew I had more to tell him. I hadn't spilled my secrets to anyone for so long, it almost felt cathartic to finally tell Edward the truth.

He was silent for a long time after I stopped talking.

"That should be my kid you're raising. I had so many plans for us..." Edward's voice sounded dejected and pained.

"Is it too late?" I whispered, holding my breath to wait for his answer.

EPOV

"No."

My answer was instant and without thought. It would never be too late. Despite all the baggage that Bella had just dumped on me, there would never be a time when I would not want her. And now that included her kid.

I clutched her closer against me, my arms tightening around her tiny waist and pulled her into a more comfortable position in my lap.

"No, Bella. It's not too late."

I raised one hand to lift her chin and searched her eyes, hoping to convey with mine how I felt. Yes, I was still angry with her for leaving me, and disappointed that she had never even tried to contact me after we broke up, but I was finally starting to understand her reasoning.

And knowing that her pregnancy was an accident, not something she intended, and that her marriage to Jacob wasn't something she had wanted, made it easier for me to accept her past.

Perversely, it made me feel better that she was as miserable without me as I had been without her.

And yet, I knew that we could only move forward now. The past was in the past, there was nothing we could do to change it, and currently, I had a hot woman in my lap who wore nothing but my sweaty shirt.

The dried tears and snot didn't quite distract me from that fact, but I was enough of a gentleman to offer her a moment to clean up instead of pouncing on her naked flesh the way I wanted to. I was reluctant to let her go, but there was always the option of showering together. I had yet to clean up from our morning activities.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too. God, I must look awful. Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure. I still need to take a shower, anyway."

"Oh, right. Okay, yeah. So, I'll be right back, okay?"

Visions of shower sex clouded my mind.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd join me." I winked at her. "Seeing how you're wearing my smelly shirt..."

"What are you saying? Your stink has rubbed off on me?"

I rubbed my hands down her back, to the hem of the shirt, pulling playfully as I looked at her appraisingly.

"Well, that would be rather impolite, don't you think?"

She giggled and put her arms around my neck, kissing my nose.

"If you remember, it was always your sweaty scent that would set me off..."

She jumped off my lap and sauntered to the bathroom.

"Coming, Edward?"

That was the plan.

"Not yet, but it's starting to look up."

Bella giggled again as she disappeared through the door.

I pulled off my shorts and boxers and discarded them into the hamper on my way to the bathroom. Bella had turned on the water and as I entered the room, I found her standing with her back to me at the sink, naked as the day she was born, wiping her face with her hands.

I was already rock-hard when I snaked my arms around her waist and ground myself into her ass.

"God, Bella – you are so fucking beautiful."

I moved her hair out of the way and kissed the soft skin on her neck, nibbling my way up to her ear.

"Let's get in the shower, sweetheart."

She squealed as I lifted her up into the basin and shut the door behind me. The hot spray of the water soaked her hair and she raised her hands to push it back from her face, looking up at me. Fascinated, I followed the trail of water that ran down her chest, between her still-firm tits, the peaks hardened and just begging to be touched.

Happy to oblige, I leaned down and kissed her hard, pushing my tongue into the hot cavern of her mouth as my hands found her nipples, twisting and squeezing the pebbled tips, rolling them between my fingers. I ground my hips into hers, letting my hands wander down her stomach. Moving one hand to her ass, I let my fingers travel further south until I encountered the soft curls that covered her pussy.

"Fuck, Bella – you are so wet already," I groaned against her lips as I parted her folds and pushed a finger inside her. "Lift your leg up, baby."

She hitched one leg around my thigh and opened herself to me. I was painfully hard at this point and all I could think of was to be buried inside her, pounding into her, feeling her clench around my rigid cock.

She moaned as my thumb flicked her clit and I added another finger to the slick flesh, slowly moving in and out of her tight sheath. "Yes, Edward, oooh...yes...ungh..."

"I'm sorry, honey...," I moaned, "we'll do slow and soft later...right now, I just need to fuck you...hard."

She shuddered as my hips jerked towards her again, and she wrapped a soft hand around my swollen shaft, pumping quickly up and down.

"Yes, baby...please...please fuck me...I need you, Edward...please."

I bent down and lifted her with both hands on her ass, lining myself up with her entrance and, with a swift move, pulled her down on top of my throbbing dick. We both groaned as I filled her, pushing her back against the shower wall. I bent my head and claimed her lips again, mimicking the motions of my cock with my tongue in her mouth.

The position didn't leave much room for movement, so I pulled out just a little and pushed back in hard, grinding against her clit. She gasped into my mouth, the heels of her feet digging into my ass as she squeezed her legs around my waist. I sped up my thrusts until I felt her walls clench and quiver around me. The sounds of skin hitting skin echoed around the shower stall. My balls tightened and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer.

I bent my head and sucked on her left tit, pulling the hard tip into my mouth and flicking my tongue over it repeatedly. With a plop, I let it go, only to capture the other side gently with my teeth. I rolled my tongue around it as I flexed my hips, driving deeper into her with every forward thrust.

Her fingers wrapped around the hair at the nape of my neck, pulling on the strands to the point of pain. It only intensified my lust for her, my need to claim this woman and make her mine.

For good.

"Bella...almost...there...fuck...so good...baby...tell me...you're mine...mine...only mine..." I grunted in time with my thrusts, my voice straining from the exertion. My fingers gripped her ass harder as I slammed into her pussy again and again.

"Edward...ooh...yours...oh yes...always yours...fuck...harder...yes...ooooh..."

The strain of my exertion was starting to get to me. My legs started to shake as I continued to pound her into the shower wall, huffing out words with each forward thrust.

"Mine...unngh...I need...unghh...you to come..._fuck_...touch...yourself."

She reached a hand between us and rubbed her clit while holding on to my neck with the other. I drove into her faster and harder; the burn in my legs was increasing as the familiar coil tightened in my groin.

"Edward...oh God...yes..._fuck_...oh...oh...ohh...I'm coming..._oh Gooooood_..."

Bella's nails dug into the skin of my shoulder as she clamped down around my dick. With a final hard push to the hilt, I threw my head back, incoherently calling out her name as my cock swelled and pulsed, spilling my load in jerky spurts deep inside her.

"Bella...yes...I'm...I'm...oh, fuck..._Bella_...oh, shit..._yes_..._yes_...baby, so good...so good..._fuuuuck_..."

My knees buckled as the mind-blowing pleasure washed over me in droves, and I slowly slid her down with me until I was kneeling on the shower floor, my hands still holding her up while I rode out wave after wave of my orgasm. I moved my hands around her waist when her feet reached the ground, and sat on my heels, clutching her to me, still deeply connected to her, as the water rained down on us, both of us breathing hard. My head fell into the crook of her neck and I shuddered as her pussy clenched around my cock with the final pulses of her climax.

I kissed her again before pulling back to look at her.

"Jesus, Bella...so fucking good."

She smiled weakly as she panted. "Yeah, that's an understatement..."

I grinned smugly, a feeling of pride and contentment flashing through me, and waggled my eyebrows at her.

Bella giggled which did interesting things to my now oversensitive cock, her walls still quivering from the aftershocks. My hips jerked involuntarily.

"You think we're clean enough now?" she teased, still panting a little.

"Probably not since we forgot the soap. Not that I'm complaining. That was amazing!"

"Yes, it was," she nodded. "Best sex I've had in fourteen years."

My mouth dropped open in shock.

"What?"

Bella didn't answer, just stared at me meaningfully.

And the caveman inside me pumped his fist.

When we were both sufficiently recovered, I slid out of her, whining silently at the loss of her heat, and helped her stand up. We washed each other tenderly, and if I had been a younger man, I would have tried for another round, but at thirty-three, my dick just didn't bounce back as it used to.

The water ran cold eventually, and Bella shrieked before pushing the door open and escaping into the bathroom. I followed her quickly, handing her a towel from the rack before wrapping one around my waist. I helped her dry herself, paying special attention to the area between her legs and the soft mounds of flesh on her chest. I checked her back for marks but didn't find any.

"Are you sore, baby? I wasn't too rough, was I?"

"I'd say you fucked me good and proper, Edward," she answered with a smile. That prompted another inner fist pump.

I moved her wet hair away from her neck, sucking a few water drops off her shoulder. Her taste was just as I remembered and my lower regions responded accordingly.

She snickered, glancing at my dick tenting the towel.

"Again?"

For some odd reason, my ears began to burn.

"Yeah, well, I was just thinking that I'm not eighteen anymore, but it seems my not-so-little friend here has other ideas."

She wrung out her hair with another towel, laughing as she pressed herself against me.

"I don't mind that at all," she purred.

I must have been still delirious from the very best orgasm I'd had in a long time because I just blurted out the next words.

"God, I've missed you so fucking much, Bella."

The desperate need for her that bubbled up to my throat, never verbalized since she had left me, never acknowledged openly since those first few weeks of drunken stupor, hit me like a ton of bricks. There was no fucking way in hell I could ever let her go again.

And I hoped to God that she would let me keep her this time.

Bella dropped her towel and wrapped her hands around my neck, sighing into my shoulder as she pressed her lips to my skin.

"I am so sorry, Edward. I can never apologize enough for hurting you."

I crushed her to me, breathing in the scent of my shower gel on her skin. The enormity of this second chance, one I never thought I would have, washed over me. All I wanted at that moment was to move forward, to leave the past behind and focus on our future.

Together.

"Bella, I don't want any more apologies. There is no need for them. I do understand why you did what you did. I don't like it, but it happened. What I want from you now is your promise that you won't leave me again."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not ever. I'm here until you tell me to go."

"Well, that will never happen. You can fucking count on that. I proposed to you yesterday morning and meant every word of it – do you really think I'd tell you to get lost the next day?"

I softly kissed her.

Bella smiled a brilliant smile.

"Yeah, you're right. That would make no sense at all."

"Exactly."

"And even though now might not be the right time, I do hope you'll ask me again some day."

"You can count on that, too, sweetheart."

I kissed her again before walking out of the bathroom to grab some clean clothes. As I pulled on my boxers, Bella came into the room, clad only in a towel. She bent to pick up her discarded panties and grimaced.

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked, wondering again if she was hurt after our shower fuck. "You okay?"

She straightened and smiled a little. "Yeah, I'm fine...just not too keen on putting these back on. I'm all clean and they're...not."

"Oh..." I scratched my head. "Well, do you want to borrow one of my boxers? Just roll 'em up a little, I guess. And if you like, maybe you could bring some of your panties over for next time? Or some clothes in general?"

"What?" She stared at me with an incredulous look on her face. "Don't you think that maybe that's a little fast? I mean...don't get me wrong...I'm so happy to have you back, but it's only been like...four days?"

I returned her gaze evenly. I understood her point, but she needed to see it from my side.

"Bella, I have waited fourteen years to share a drawer with you. There is nothing I would consider too fast in our case."

She regarded me silently for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. Okay. That would be nice. Thanks."

"Anything," I promised solemnly. "Any time."

I tossed her the smallest pair of boxers I owned, and ogled her openly as she pulled them over her hips.

_Fuck me sideways. She looks fucking hot in my boxers._

_Score! I got my woman in my undies_.

_And Caveman Edward comes out to play_.

_Excellent. Now throw her on your bed and have your way with her._

I told the eighteen year old boy in me to cool it as Bella walked out of the bed room clad only in her bra and my boxers, holding her socks in her hands. At the door, she turned her head and winked at me.

"Come find me when you're dressed..." she said, and I wasn't sure if she realized how seductive she sounded.

_Hot damn, she is killing me._

_So fucking sexy. _

After a moment of staring silently at the open door, I threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt before following Bella into the living room where we had dropped her clothes earlier. My stomach was growling more urgently, and I was fairly sure that Bella needed some food now, too.

"How about some lunch now, honey?" I asked when I joined her as she put on her shirt and shorts. "I probably have enough for a few sandwiches, and there's beer in the fridge. Or Coke, I think."

"I could eat," she replied with a grin. "I guess I'm hungry for food now, after all."

I grabbed her hand to pull her towards the kitchen. "Come on, woman...feed your man."

She rolled her eyes, snickering. "You're still just as much a caveman as you used to be."

"And don't you forget it," I grinned. "But I'm _your_ caveman."

The easy banter continued as we worked together to make our sandwiches. I found a bag of chips in the pantry, and grabbed us each a beer from the fridge before sitting down at the breakfast bar with her.

Half way through lunch, Bella's cellphone rang. I continued eating as she answered.

"Hey, Seth."

She looked at me and smiled. I grinned back. The guy had scored major brownie points by giving me time with Bella this afternoon.

"We're just eating lunch now."

"Yes, just now."

"None of your business." She blushed and winked at me.

"Yeah, okay, sounds good. We'll probably head over there in a little while."

"Okay, see you then. Bye."

She tossed the phone onto the counter. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking what was going on.

"Seth is taking James back to my house to play video games."

"Ah," I nodded though I was taken a little aback that he had a key to her place. "So, what's the plan?"

She looked down at her food before lifting her eyes again, smiling shyly at me through her lashes.

"Well, I thought maybe you'd like to join us for dinner? Nothing fancy, just some pasta and meatballs."

I grinned at the invitation, eager to spend more time with her and her son.

"I'd like that."

"Me, too."

She bit into her sandwich and washed it down with a sip of her beer. I bit the bullet and asked the question that was causing my current heartburn.

"So...what's the deal with Seth? Awfully close for a brother-in-law..."

Her head snapped up. "What do you mean?"

"Well, ya know...just thinking here...dude has a key to your place...I might be a little jealous. Possibly."

I flashed her a crooked smile before taking a swig of my beer.

Bella laughed. "Seriously, Edward – you have nothing to be jealous of with Seth. He was there for me after Jacob died, he offered me his help when I needed to get away from my in-laws. He's the reason I came back to Jacksonville."

My mouth dropped open and I frowned. She was quick to elaborate though she rolled her eyes at me.

"No, no...jeez...not in the way you're thinking. My in-laws are a little...overbearing, you might say, and after James' father's death, they kept trying to push me to do things their way. They wanted me to move in with them, insinuating that I couldn't possibly take care of my son on my own. Seth was always on my side and spent a lot of time with James even before Jacob died, and when he got orders to transfer here, he suggested I move here with him. And it seemed like a good time to come home."

She took another sip of beer.

"And now I'm ecstatic that I did. I never thought I'd see you again...it never even occurred to me that you'd still be here. I had buried my dreams of a life with you a long time ago."

"Huh...and what happens when Seth gets transferred again?"

Bella looked me straight in the eye.

"As long as you want me, I'm staying. I mean it, Edward. This," she motioned between us, "this is an unexpected gift and while I may have been a fool to let you go once, I am not making that same mistake twice. If you want me, you got me. Got it?"

I nodded slowly, a part of me still scared to believe her completely. Only time would tell. Seth's lack of knowledge about our history still disturbed me a little. I decided to grab the bull by the horns.

"He seems very...protective of you and James. And he apparently didn't know anything about us, Bella."

"Edward – it's only been four days."

I huffed as the anger rose again and crossed my arms over my chest.

"That's not what I meant. He didn't know anything about _us_, Bella. Our past. He said you referred to us as 'old friends.'"

"Of course, he doesn't know. It was none of his business. No one knows. I never mentioned you – it was too painful. Every time I looked at my wedding ring, I wished it was yours. Can you not understand why I would not bring up the subject of _us _with any_ of them_? You seem to still be under a grave misconception. I wasn't _happy_ without you. I lived for my child alone. He was the only bright spot in my life."

Her eyes swam in tears. I swallowed hard, relaxing my stance and turning the anger onto myself for doubting her again. I looked at her sheepishly, grabbing the beer bottle and twisting it in my hands.

"I'm sorry, Bella – I'm a jealous ass. I assumed when I first found out about you and James that you had simply moved on and were happy with the life you chose. I guess I'm still having a hard time believing that you were just as miserable as I've been."

She fiddled with the paper towel in her hands, wrapping it around her fingers before swiping at the tear that ran down her cheek.

"Yeah, well, it's okay – anyway, it wasn't something I felt the need to discuss with my brother-in-law."

"I'm really sorry. I'll try harder."

Bella bit her lip, a flicker of pain rushing across her face, before replying.

"Edward, you don't have to try harder. I understand how you feel, and I fully take the blame for it. What did Seth say to you?"

"Well, he made it very clear to me that he would kick my ass if I hurt you or James." I scowled a little at the memory of this threat.

"Yeah, that sounds like him," Bella said lightly. "He's been really great, and I rely on him to help with James a lot. He loves my son, and I would guess that he doesn't want him to get caught in the middle, if this thing between us doesn't work out."

"There is nothing to worry about in that aspect, as far as I'm concerned. I'm not going anywhere and the only way this is going to end badly is if you decide our fate for both of us again."

She reached across the table and intertwined our fingers, rubbing her thumb against the back of my hand.

"I guess he has nothing to worry about, then. I'm not going anywhere." She smiled sadly. "I guess it'll just take a while for you to believe me. And that's okay."

"I want to, Bella, really, I do..."

She shrugged a little. "Don't worry about it."

"Well, let me just say that these past four days have been the very best in the last fourteen years for me."

Bella blinked her tears away.

"Me, too," she whispered, squeezing my hand. "Me, too."

We finished our beers and our sandwiches, and after I had discarded our plates in the sink, I pulled Bella into the living room.

"I don't know about you, but I'm a little wiped. How about we relax on the couch for a while?"

"Yeah, sure," she replied. "Last night wasn't the best night of sleep I ever had."

"No?" I teased. "You mean your Edward-mattress wasn't comfortable?"

"Not exactly, though it was actually rather nice to fall asleep with you."

"My Bella-blanket was the best."

She giggled. "Flip on the TV?"

"Sure. Any preference?"

"I don't care...pick something."

I lay down on the couch on my side and pulled her down in front of me. She laid her head against my shoulder and pressed her back into me, wiggling her ass against my groin. My reaction was instant and the once comfortable jeans rapidly became too tight as my dick rose to the occasion.

I groaned and stilled her hips with my hand.

"Tease." I reached down to adjust my cock.

"Sorry," she said but didn't sound very apologetic. I laughed.

"Don't be...do it again."

Bella giggled before pushing her ass deeper into the curve of my lower stomach. This time, I thrust back against her and she moaned softly. I kissed the back of her head, breathing in her scent as we both found comfortable positions. After a minute, I pulled the afghan off the back of the couch and covered us when I noticed the goosebumps on her arm.

"Cold?"

"A little. Your AC blasts higher than mine."

I reached over my head to grab the remote off the side table.

"Take a nap, baby."

Bella yawned. "Okay."

I flicked on the TV and navigated to ESPN, listening to Bella's breathing evening out. It didn't take very long before my own eyes closed as well.

I woke with a start, disoriented. The TV blared in the background. There was no Bella lying in front of me. In my sleep-addled state, it took me a moment to realize what was going on, and part of me wondered if it had all been a dream. I sat up, looking around while I rubbed my eyes.

"Bella?"

No answer.

"Bella!" I called out again, a little louder.

My heart was pounding as I got off the couch, looking around the empty room. The noise from the TV was irritating. I grabbed the remote off the floor and shut it off, throwing the device down on the table.

"Goddamn it! It was just a fucking dream! Fuck!" I ran my hands over my face and into my hair, pulling the strands.

"A fucking dream..."

From the direction of my bedroom, I heard the toilet flush. My head whipped towards the sound. Something akin to relief flooded my insides as I made sense of the noise and my feet carried me to my room. I entered in a rush, the door slamming against the wall, just as she came out of the bathroom. She jerked, startled by my sudden entrance, and pressed her hand to her throat.

"Shit, Edward...you scared the crap out of me. I thought you were still sleeping."

I crossed the space between us swiftly and pulled her into my arms, needing to assure myself that she was real, that she was there, and I was basically just being stupid. She melted in my arms, wrapping herself around me.

"What is it?"

I shook my head, unable to form any coherent words, clutching her against me, breathing her in.

"Oh, sweetie, talk to me. What's going on?"

"I thought...I woke up alone and...I thought that...I had just fucking dreamed it all."

She put her hands on my face and looked into my eyes.

"I'm here...and I'm so sorry...but I'm here...okay? I just had to use the bathroom."

I choked a laugh, bending down to kiss her. "Yeah...you're here. You're finally here."

She returned my kiss with fervor, her hands grasping the sides of my face, flicking her tongue against my bottom lip. I opened with a groan, and stroked her tongue with mine for a moment before pulling back to stare into her eyes.

"Sorry. I guess I just freaked a little." I smiled a little sheepishly.

"It's okay," Bella replied, with a sad undertone in her voice. "I guess only time will help with that."

"I like the idea of more time with you."

She laughed nervously. "Yeah, well, you'll get your chance soon. We have to leave shortly to head back to my house. You sure you don't mind sharing me with James?"

"Not at all. He's part of the deal, right?"

Bella smiled. "Yeah."

"Well, then – I want the whole package."

She looked relieved, but didn't say anything else. I grinned at her, feeling optimistic about the future for the first time since high school.

"Let me just use the bathroom, and then we can head over to your place. Meet you in the front room?"

"Yeah, sure."

When I returned to the living room, Bella sat on the couch putting her sneakers on.

"Ready?" I held out my hand and she reached for it.

"Yep."

We arrived at her house and I parked the car by the curb. When we entered the house, I could hear excited yelling coming from upstairs.

"James," Bella hollered. "I'm home."

A herd of elephants stampeded down the stairs – well, at least it sounded that way. James skidded to a halt in front of his mother.

"Hey, Mom – I beat Uncle Seth four times on the DS. Oh hi, Coach – do you play Mario Kart? Wanna play with me?"

By that point, Seth had also reached the bottom of the stairs. He nodded at me, and I returned the silent greeting.

"I'm gonna head out, Bella – I'm meeting up with my buddies for a beer or five. I'll call you tomorrow about practice. Nice seeing you again, Edward. Bye, Bella."

"Oh. Okay. Sure. Thanks for keeping James this afternoon."

"No problem. Laters."

James ran with him to the door. "Bye, Uncle Seth – see you tomorrow."

"You bet, buddy." The door fell close behind him. James' excited chatter continued.

"So, Coach, wanna play? I got SuperMario Kart and SuperMario Galaxy on my DS and for the Wii – but the Wii is down here, and Mom doesn't let me play much. She says I get too loud. Silly, huh?"

He grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the TV as I looked helplessly at Bella.

"Can we, Mom?"

Bella seemed to have a hard time not laughing.

"Okay, but only until dinner. Have fun, you two. I'll be in the kitchen."

I turned my eyes to James, drawing on my experience with my nephew. "Okay, buddy, you're on. You are looking at the SuperMario champion. I'm gonna be hard to beat. Think you can do it?"

"Heck, yeah, Coach. I've been playing for a long time."

"I'm only your coach on the football field, James. How about here you call me Mr. Edward?"

"Sure. That's cool." He held up two of the Wii games. "So, which one?"

I pointed to the left one and he whirled around, expertly inserting the CD into the player. He handed me a remote and a nunchuck.

"Ready?"

"Game on, buddy."

We played until Bella called us for dinner, the kid kicking my ass the whole time. I sucked just as badly at the game as when I had played with Jasper. And I was surprised that I actually enjoyed spending time with this boy. He was a fun kid – open and straightforward, bouncing excitedly whenever he pushed my Wii character out of the way. Which was often, but I didn't mind.

"James, go wash your hands, please. It's time for dinner. You too, Edward."

"Yes, ma'am!" we both saluted, and James snickered all the way to the half-bath.

"My mom's cool, huh, Mr. Edward?"

I looked at him via the mirror and nodded. "I think so, buddy. I think she's very cool."

He beamed, his little body vibrating with pride.

"I think you're pretty cool, too," I added, punching his shoulder playfully. "You play an awesome Mario game."

He wiped his hands on the towel.

"She cooks good, too," he said as if on an after-thought.

"Well, I guess we should head to the kitchen, then. I'm a little hungry, how about you?"

"Mmmm-mmm. It's spaghetti and meatballs night on Sundays. And she always makes garlic bread. That's my favorite."

"Sounds good, kid. Lead the way."

We sat down around the kitchen table. Bella filled our plates and we dug in. James chattered away about practice the next day when my cell phone rang.

I pulled it out of my pocket, shooting an apologetic glance at Bella before looking at the screen.

_Oh, shit._

_Rose._

_Well, fuck. This ain't gonna be good._

I had a pretty good idea why she was calling – I usually had dinner at her house on Sunday nights, and I had forgotten to let her know that I wouldn't be there.

I could only imagine what she would say when she found out where I was.

"It's my sister. I think I'd better take this...outside."

* * *

**End Note:** Wow - you've made it all the way to the end. Thank you for reading. Please leave a review. And Merry Christmas to you and yours.


	6. Brick by Brick

**Author's Note: **And we're back. Sorry for the delay but we apparently have to sit next to each other to write this story. Good thing we live in the same state. We still don't own Twilight, much to our dismay. Stephenie Meyer does. Lucky bitch.

As a reminder...Bella and Edward met again on a Wednesday. This chapter happens on Sunday/Monday. They've been back together for FOUR days. Keep that in mind.

Thank yous go to our husbands who, while not understanding the obsession, support our need to spend time with Edward.

On with the story.

* * *

**6. Brick by Brick**

EPOV

I answered the phone while walking through Bella's living room out onto her back porch.

"Hey, Rose."

"Edward, you're late for dinner. Are you on the way?"

I hesitated for just a second and then went with the truth.

"Actually, I'm not gonna make it tonight."

"Why not? You're always here on Sunday nights. Is everything okay? What's going on? Where are you?"

"Everything is fine. I'm at Bella's."

I braced myself for the inevitable explosion, holding the phone away from my ear as my sister's voice screeched out of the speakers.

"You _what_? Have you lost your _fucking mind_? You blow me off for that skanking whore? What the fuck is _wrong_ with you? Hasn't she hurt you enough?"

_I love my sister. Let's cut right to the chase and hand me my balls on a platter_.

Though it wasn't any less than I had expected. My sister had been on the warpath ever since she'd seen Bella at the ballpark that first night.

"Rose..." I tried to get a word in edgewise, but she wasn't done yet.

"Don't fucking placate me, Edward. I didn't spend the last fourteen years propping you up, only to watch you fall apart again. Once a whore, always a whore. Mark my words, you'll regret this."

"Enough!" I bellowed into the phone. "You don't know what you're talking about. All you have are your assumptions, and you wouldn't believe how wrong they are."

"Oh, really?" she bit back sarcastically. "So, what? Bella didn't sleep with the entire college campus? Only half of it?"

I started to get pissed off. Rose was being unfair. She didn't know the whole story and her attacks on Bella's character were totally uncalled for.

"Shut up, Rose. You couldn't be farther from the truth. And that is all you need to know. Bella and I have decided to give this another go. End of story. Butt the fuck out, okay?"

"_Butt out_? How dare you? Don't you remember what happened the last time? Can I expect to scrape you off the floor in a few weeks? Maybe a couple of months? Drunk off you ass and depressed as shit?"

I took a deep breath, silently telling myself that she was acting only out of concern for me.

"Look – settle down, alright? I'm gonna finish dinner here, and then I'll come over and we can have this discussion. I don't want to do this over the phone. Okay?"

She huffed. "Whatever, Edward. You want me to butt out? Have it your way. Don't bother coming by. Let me know when she leaves you and I will be there to pick up the pieces. Again."

"Rosalie, listen, dammit. I'll be over in a little while and we can discuss this – calmly and like the adults we're supposed to be. Okay?"

"Fine," she spat.

The call disconnected. I took another deep breath to calm myself; I didn't want to walk back into the house as aggravated as I currently felt. Although, as much as Rose's attitude annoyed me, I understood the reasons for her volatile reaction to my news. She had been the one to pick me up off the ground when my dreams had shattered and had been my anchor ever since.

However, I was thirty-three years old and capable of making my own decisions. And starting over with Bella was a dream come true and I'd move heaven and earth to hold on to her this time around.

All Rose would accomplish with her accusations and anger was to make me feel even more protective of Bella, and the new chance we had been given. It worried me that Rose being mean and hateful to Bella would only serve to make her run again, considering that what Bella had overheard all those years ago had been sort of a catalyst for her eventual decision.

Yes, it was best to keep that particular aspect of my sister's aversion to myself.

With a heavy sigh, I put the phone back in my pocket and made my way back in the house, rejoining Bella and James in the kitchen. Bella quirked an eyebrow as I sat down.

"I'll tell you later," I mouthed with a small smile, then dug in and engaged James in mindless conversations about football and school. I could feel Bella's eyes on me the whole time, and I'd glance at her every few minutes. She picked at her food, clearly worried and tense about the phone call. I tried to convey with my eyes that she shouldn't worry, giving her a crooked smile.

When James was finished eating, he asked to be excused.

"I gotta go to the bathroom," he said, fidgeting in his chair. Bella gave her permission and he quickly ran off.

"Come back when you're done," she hollered after him. "Don't forget to flush. And wash your hands."

"'kay, Mom."

She turned her eyes to me expectantly. "Well?"

I took her hand in mine, softly rubbing my thumb over her knuckles. Bella was worrying her lip. I leaned in to kiss her, to reassure her, knowing full well that there was no way in hell I would tell her exactly what assumptions Rose had made for the last fourteen years. Especially now that I knew the truth, there was no point in making Bella feel any worse than she already did.

"Well...Rose is not happy with me right now," I started to explain, "but that's primarily because she doesn't know the truth. So, after our dinner, I'll head over there and sit down with her to talk this out. Don't worry, Bella, okay? This changes nothing."

She nodded hesitantly. "Okay. You think that'll work? She obviously blames me for what I put you through. Not that she'd be wrong about that."

"Sweetheart, stop. It'll be fine. You and me, alright?"

There was doubt and guilt on her face and she looked defeated, glancing at her hands in her lap.

"I'm just worried that she'll convince you that I'm just not worth the effort. I hurt you so badly. It's still a miracle to me that you'd forgive me. I don't know that she will."

"Bella, listen to me. Whether or not Rose moves past what happened, it will not stop me from pursuing this with you. Nothing is going to stop me from giving this," I waved my hand between us, "my all. I love you, and that's that."

Finally, she raised her head and looked at me, with a weak smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"I love you, too," she whispered. "I want this. I want you."

"Good," I said with determination. "Then it's settled."

As if on cue, James returned just as I wrapped my arms around her and she quickly broke away, her happy mask firmly back in place, almost as if our conversation just a few moments ago hadn't affected her at all. It stung a little, but I understood the need to take things slow in front of him, to give him time to get to know me and to get used to the idea of his mother and I being together.

"So – clean-up time, I guess?" I said as Bella began to remove the dishes from the table. "I'll help."

Bella looked at me questioningly. "Don't you have that...thing to go to? You don't have to do this – James will help me, right, sweetie?"

"Mom," James whined. "Do I have to?"

"Come on, buddy," I intervened, unwilling to leave quite yet. "Between the three of us, it'll take no time at all. Your mom cooked such a delicious meal. Don't you think she deserves to have us help her clean up?"

He cocked his head to the side, staring up at me. "Yeah, I guess. Okay, coach...I mean, Mr. Edward. I'll help."

Bella looked at him as if he had grown another head.

"You sure you're my kid? Did the gremlins get to you? No further whining?" she teased him.

"Mom," James replied, a tone of admonishment in his voice, as a blush crept up his face. "I've helped you before."

Bella laughed.

"Yeah, when I bribed you."

James' face flushed bright red, and I was overwhelmed how much he looked like Bella at that moment. It was hilarious that he would have inherited her propensity to blush whenever she was embarrassed.

And it sure looked like the kid was mortified that she was calling him out in front of me. I guessed he didn't want his coach to think that he didn't help his mom, though that wasn't anything atypical for his age. I wistfully remembered my own reaction to _my_ mother asking me to help with stuff around the house.

I always had better things to do than to help Mom, something I sometimes wished I could take back. If I had known I would lose her so soon, I would have gladly spent more time helping her whenever I could have.

"Mom!" James whisper-yelled, starting to move plates to the sink.

Still laughing, Bella began washing the dishes, setting them onto the drying rack where James and I would pick them up to dry. Mindful that he was still just a kid, I handled the heavier items like the pots and let him dry off the silverware. He seemed oblivious to the flirting between his mother and I. And whenever he was looking away, I surreptitiously copped a feel of her ass.

_And what a nice ass it is_.

"Stop it," she hissed under her breath after I had grabbed her a few times and flicked dishwater at me. The smile in her eyes told me she enjoyed it despite her protest, so I kept on feeling her up whenever I got the chance. Every time James turned away, my hands would unerringly land on her butt, teasing her as much as I thought I could get away with. She finally snapped a kitchen towel through the air when I wasn't looking, causing me to nearly drop the plates I was about to put into the overhead cabinet.

"Bella!" I yelped when the towel made contact on my bare leg. "Fu...dge! What was that for?"

She looked at me innocently. From the table, James laughed.

"You got him good, Mom."

"Your mom is a sneaky one, isn't she?" I turned my head to wink at him conspiratorially. "You think that's the thanks we deserve for helping her?"

He cocked his head to the side again, thinking. "Yeah, I guess that's not nice. You should say sorry, Mom."

"What? I'm just shaking it out so I can hang it up." Bella grinned widely.

I rolled my eyes and smirked at her. "Yeah, right. I'm onto you."

"You wish," she quipped.

_You got that right, baby. Actually, I wish I'd be on top of you_.

_Preferably with your legs wrapped around my waist._

I just waggled my brows suggestively, feeling like I was where I was supposed to be. This was right, and I would do whatever I could to make my sister understand and give us her blessing.

And if she refused, well – I'd deal with that if it happened.

Still, there was a little voice nagging at me, that this, all of this, should have been mine all along if only Bella had given us the benefit of the doubt back then. The miscommunication, the _lack _off communication was what had ultimately brought us to our knees.

I gritted my teeth and shoved the voice into the back of my mind. If onlys and should haves would not change anything – all we could do is start over and move forward.

And I was hellbent on doing just that.

When the kitchen was sparkling again, Bella took James upstairs to start his bath. I told him good-night and that I would see him at practice the next night. With a happy smile and shout good-bye, he ran upstairs.

I took the opportunity to mess with Bella's phone, changing her message alert tone for texts from me to something I hoped would make her smile and realize that I was serious about us.

The second she came back down, I pulled Bella into my arms, bending her backwards and kissing her hungrily.

_My turn._

_Fuck, I'm getting hard already._

"You little vixen," I moaned against her lips and grinding my half-mast into her leg. "I already need you again."

She flexed her hips against mine, kissing me back furiously and then panting when I moved my mouth to her neck, kissing the sensitive spot behind her ear.

"Edward," she whimpered, running her hands over my back, digging her nails into my skin.

"Fuck, Bella – I don't wanna leave. I wanna be a few months down the road so James would know about us and we could all be together all the time."

Visions of the two of them living with me danced around my mind, and I was a little surprised at how _badly_ I wanted that to happen. The more time I spend with the kid, the more I could see myself being a father to him.

_What about one of your own_?

_Yes, please_.

_Getting ahead of yourself again_?

_Yup_. _Sue me_.

The thought popped into my head and I wasn't even scared. I'd never thought about having kids, knowing that it wasn't an option for me, not after I lost her.

Now it was.

I assumed Bella was on birth control since I sure as hell hadn't wrapped my dick when we'd had sex. That was probably something I should ask her about.

And maybe at some point down the road, I would ask her to stop taking it.

Bella tightened her hold on me. "I want that, too. I just need time to break things to him. Give me time, Edward."

My head knew she was speaking reasonably but my heart was annoyed at all the time we'd already wasted. Still, reason persisted and I was able to swallow down the bile that had risen in my throat at her words.

"Yeah, you're right. That doesn't make it any easier, though."

"I know," she whispered. "I want you here, I do, but I have to think of my kid. We gotta give him time to get used to the idea."

"Alright," I conceded, struggling to get past the pain. "After fourteen years, what's a little more time?"

Bella's face fell at the bitterness in my voice, her body stiffening in my arms, and I scrambled to make it right again.

"I'm sorry – I shouldn't have said that. I'm...I'm frustrated, to tell the truth. I want it all with you, and I can hardly wait to get there."

My apology didn't quite erase the guilt in her eyes, and I could have kicked my own ass for my callous words.

"Really, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said, "this is all my fault anyway. I deserve whatever you throw at me."

"Sshh, baby...don't say that. It's not true. We both were young and stupid back then. I'm just as much to blame."

She didn't look like she believed me, and I swore to myself that I would do whatever I could to get her to that point.

With another searing kiss and a promise to contact her after my talk with my sister, I finally left.

On the way to Rose's house, I debated whether I should tell her what I had found out from Bella, or whether I should keep that between us. On one hand, having the knowledge that Bella had not 'slept her way around campus' as Rose had put it so succinctly, would perhaps convince my sister to give this relationship another chance. On the other hand, it felt like a betrayal of Bella's trust, especially since I knew how hard it had been for her to tell me these things.

And a huge part of me also knew that whatever I might tell my sister, I had a snowball's chance in hell that it would make any damn difference. Rose was stubborn to a fault, and once she had made up her mind about something, there was almost no chance of it ever changing.

And thus my purpose of having this conversation with her would be simply to get her to back off and not interfere. Only time would show my sister that Bella was going to stick around and not break my heart again. If she ever felt that Rose needed to know what had happened in those fourteen years, it would be up to Bella to impart that knowledge on my sister.

Fat lot of good it would do.

Either way, Rose needed to trust my judgment. I knew what I was doing.

Well, actually, I was flying by the seat of my pants, but I hadn't felt this alive in fourteen long years and that had to count for something.

I loved this woman, I believed that she loved me, and immature and naïve as it may have been, I trusted that our love would be enough.

With that thought, I drove the last few miles to Rose's house and parked my car in the driveway. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

Emmett let me in, smirking meaningfully. "Dude...shit's about to hit the fan. Rose is in a pissy mood. Y'all may wanna take this outside somewhere. I got a kid sleeping in here."

"Whatever," I retorted. "You know I love her dearly but she needs to mind her own damn business."

"Edward," Emmett said with a sigh, "cut her some slack, will ya? You know she means well, and to be honest, _I'm_ having a hard time believing you'd forgive and forget like that. But hey, your life, your heart, your sanity. Just don't take it out on my wife, okay?"

"I'll do my best," I replied, heavy on the sarcasm, exasperated that I even had to have this conversation. All I wanted was to finally be happy. Was that too much to ask?

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs, putting Jasper in bed. Come on in. Want a beer?"

_Liquid courage_? _Yes, please_.

"Yeah, thanks." I followed him into the kitchen where he grabbed two bottles from the fridge.

Turning to me, he snickered. "I recommend the garage. It's farthest from Jasper's room. You should be okay to yell in there if need be. And you know she will. I hope you brought ear plugs."

"I think we might just stay in here, if you don't mind," I retorted. "If we're in here, I should hope she'll remember not to yell. I think this may be safer for me."

Emmett laughed. "Yeah, I see your point. Either way, your funeral. Just don't kill each other, alright? I still wanna get laid tonight."

_So would I_.

_Chances of that happening are slim to none_.

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "I'm sure it won't get that bad."

"Well, at least it's you she's mad at this time. Usually it's me."

"Glad to be of service."

He snickered. "Yeah, thanks so much."

Footsteps could be heard on the stairs. I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling a little nervous to face my sister's wrath. I grimaced, taking a swig of beer. Emmett looked at my expression and raised one eyebrow, his eyes gleaming with suppressed mirth. He clapped my shoulder.

"You ready? I hear her coming down. Good luck to you. Nice knowing ya."

He clinked his bottle to mine and started to saunter out of the kitchen, kissing his wife as she came in, whispering something into her ear that made her glare up at him. He held up his hands defensively and with a last pity-filled look at me, walked away.

Rose's angry eyes turned on me. I leaned casually against the kitchen counter, nursing my beer and returning her stare calmly though I was a pile of nerves on the inside. I wasn't worried about myself – hell, I had known this woman for thirty-three years and there was nothing she could throw at me that I couldn't counter – no, I was primarily worried about Rose confronting Bella and how that would affect her and our relationship.

Rose was my sister and my best friend. We knew each other inside and out and no matter the outcome of this discussion, we'd still be okay. I knew she was worried. It was now up to me to convince her to simply trust me that I knew what I was doing.

I took another swig of my beer then sighed.

"Okay," I said, half to myself, as I turned the bottle in my hands. "Let's get this over with."

She walked over to the table and sat down. "Grab me a beer, will ya?"

I pulled another bottle from the fridge, popping the top, and handed it to her.

"So," I said, returning to my spot leaning against the counter, "let me have it."

Rosalie took a long draft from the bottle before focusing a hard stare on me.

"I just don't understand you, Edward," she started, and as she spoke, though she kept her voice low, her anger came through loud and clear.

"How can you just go back to her? She left you. She simply disappeared. No letters, no calls, no contact whatsoever. She was gone from your life for _fourteen_ years. And all these years, I've watched you stumble through your life, trying my best to keep you from drowning in the pain she caused you. Fourteen fucking years, Edward. Out of the blue, she shows back up and _four days later_, it's all hunky-dory again? Unicorns and rainbows shooting out of her ass? How can you forget what she did to you? How can you forgive her all the fucking pain and misery she's caused? What am I supposed to do with this shit? Yippee, Bella's back, let's have a fucking party?"

"No, it's not all hunky-dory but I love her, Rose. I've always loved her and I always will. You know that. There's never been anyone else for me."

"Well, isn't that nice," she spat sarcastically. "You love her. And that's supposed to explain it? You never even _tried_ to move past her. So many beautiful women have thrown themselves at you over the years, but you never even tried to build something new."

"That is not true," I replied defensively. "I did try. It didn't work."

"Yeah, right," Rose scoffed. "I can still remember you running from Sam. You didn't even give her a chance."

"Good grief, Rose. Sam? Seriously? She's like a sister to me. That was never gonna happen, and you knew that."

"I don't believe that. You'd be perfect together."

"She's your best friend," I tried to explain again. "I never saw her as anything more. And that wasn't what I was referring to when I said that I tried."

Painful memories of the Tanya fiasco shoved themselves forcefully into my mind. I shuddered as I remembered the hurt on the poor girl's face when I had confessed my shame. That alone had been enough to prevent any further attempts.

"What are you talking about?"

I sighed, not really wanting to share this with my sister but seeing no other way to get my point across. "Let's just say it was a complete disaster. I met this girl shortly after college and we dated for a little while. When we...had sex for the first time, I blurted out Bella's name...at an inappropriate time. And that's all you need to know."

She stared at me, incredulous at first but then I could see comprehension dawning in her eyes. It was soon replaced by curiosity.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Are you fucking serious? It wasn't my most shining moment. Do you really think I'd want to share that with my sister? Come on, Rose, gimme some credit here. I didn't even tell Emmett."

"Well, I suppose that explains the string of one-night stands."

I didn't respond to that – there was no need.

"Just explain it to me, Edward. You're my brother and I love you, but I can't for the life of me understand why you would put yourself in a situation that will only get you hurt again. Why would you take up with that slut again? She's got a kid – where is her husband? Did she leave him, too?"

Anger flared and my voice became deadly.

"You need to shut the fuck up right fucking now, Rose. You have no idea what you're talking about. Bella's husband is dead. He was killed in a car accident."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but that's really beside the point. She married someone. She had a baby. She obviously moved on – so why the hell couldn't you?"

I felt an overwhelming urge to just lay out all my cards and tell her everything Bella had shared with me, but I also knew that I couldn't break her confidences in that way. What she had told me was for my ears only, a story that had gone a long way to explain Bella's heart to me, and my sister simply didn't need to know the nitty-gritty details.

"Bella's story is much more complicated than you think. Things aren't always what they seem, Rose, and maybe one day Bella will tell you the truth. In the meantime, you need to stop judging her by your assumptions – because it's pissing me off. I know what happened during our time apart, and I'm really the only one who needs to know."

Before she could reply, I continued.

"Look – I am so grateful that you're my sister, because I know I couldn't have gotten through this time without you. You've carried my sorry ass for so long, you pulled me out of my drunken stupor and you basically saved my life. But you're not my mother and I'm old enough to make my own decisions, Rose – I've done so for quite some time. You need to let go, and trust me that I know what I'm doing."

She stared at me long and hard.

"It's not you I don't trust, it's her. You've had your head up her ass for so long, and I just don't feel like you're thinking straight. I don't understand the hold she has on you."

Suddenly, there were tears in her eyes. "And I'm afraid that you're only setting yourself up for more heartbreak. I don't know that I can save you again, if that happens. And I can't lose my brother."

I dropped my bottle on the counter and closed the distance between us, pulling her into a hug. Rose leaned her head against my chest and sniffled.

"Rose, I love you. Please, give me the benefit of the doubt. Can you do that?"

"I want to, but I don't know that I can. I don't know that I could handle seeing you this broken again when Bella leaves."

"Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. I _know_ she won't leave again."

Rose scoffed into my shirt. "Yeah, right. She's got an awesome track record with that."

"Look – you're gonna have to trust me. I'm not asking you to forgive, I'm not expecting you to like her. Hell, for all I care, you don't ever have to talk to her. All I am asking is that you give me a chance. And give _her_ a chance to prove herself to you. Because I know she will. She is not leaving again. I trust her."

"Well, I don't, and I probably never will."

I shook my head, exasperated. "Fine. Just back off, okay? She makes me happy. Please, don't make me choose between you and her."

Rose pushed back from me, furiously staring me down.

"You would choose her over me? Over your own sister? After everything I've done for you?"

I nodded firmly. "Yes. I want to be happy, Rose. I deserve to be happy, and I _know_ I can only be happy with her. This is what I want. And I would like you to be happy for me."

"Don't hold your breath," she spat before storming from the room. I nursed the rest of my beer, waiting for her to calm down enough to come back. I knew my sister. I'd give her the time she'd need.

It took all of ten minutes before she returned, a resigned look on her face. She sat back down at the table and picked up her beer. I waited patiently for her to say whatever she had to say.

"Alright, Edward," she finally said. "I think you're making a huge mistake, but it's your choice. The best I can do is to keep my mouth shut. Don't expect me to talk to her. As far as I'm concerned, she doesn't exist. And I really hope you know what you're doing."

"I do," I promised. "It'll all work out, you'll see."

"Your word in God's ear." Her words marked the end of our conversation on the subject.

We finished the rest of our bottles in silence. I knew that this concession had cost her a lot and I was fully aware that this was as good as it was going to get – at least for a while. Only time would tell if Rose and Bella would ever get back to the friendship they used to have.

I wasn't hopeful. The best I could probably expect was forced civility on my sister's part, and quiet acceptance on Bella's.

It would have to suffice.

BPOV

After dinner, Edward helped me clean up the kitchen and even convinced my son to help. Usually James moaned and groaned about cleaning up after dinner, but tonight was a different story. He jumped at the chance to spend more time with Edward and that made me smile.

It was a very positive sign to see my son take to Edward so easily. He didn't question why his coach was having dinner with us, just like he hadn't questioned where I'd been that afternoon.

Eventually Edward left, and James prattled on about his afternoon with Seth as he bathed. After I tucked him into bed, he looked over at me, a huge smile on your face.

"It was really fun today, Mom," he gushed, his eyes shining brightly.

I smiled, pleased that he had enjoyed himself. It made me hopeful for the future. The rapid way James had taken to Edward was rather extraordinary, and I wondered if it could really be this easy for him to include Edward in our little family.

"Really?"

"Having Coach to practice with was great!" he beamed.

I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. It was very important to me that James like Edward. Of course, he was my son's coach so I suspected James would be excited to see him, but it seemed to go beyond just a boy and his football coach. Listening to them play video games while I cooked dinner had warmed my heart.

"I'm glad you had a good time," I replied, leaning over and kissing his forehead.

"Is he gonna come back soon?" he asked excitedly.

"Would you like him to?" His question again alleviated some of my concerns about James and Edward getting along, considering how happy the prospect appeared to make him.

"Yes, definitely. I like him a lot." He nodded earnestly. "When is he coming back?"

I hesitated, unsure of what answer would be best.

"Well, I'm not sure," I stalled for a minute. "You'll see him at practice tomorrow. Why don't you ask him then?"

"Okay, yeah. Will you be there?"

"Yes, I'll be there, sweetie, but Uncle Seth might pick you up to take you. I'm not sure yet how long I'll have to work."

"Okay."

"Alright, and now it's time for sleep."

"Night, mom," James mumbled as he rolled over.

"Night, baby."

As I prepared for bed, I wondered about Edward and his meeting with Rose, worried about how much influence she still had over him. I glanced down at the clock on my nightstand, wondering if he would call me when he got home.

I read for a while but eventually dozed off only to be woken up when my phone started playing 'All In' by 'Lifehouse'. The words 'I'm all in' repeated over and over. Confused and half asleep, I accidentally knocked the phone on the floor and nearly fell out of bed reaching for it.

There was a text from Edward.

**Talked with Rose. Everything's taken care of. Love you. Call you tomorrow**

I turned on the lamp on my nightstand to type out a reply, amused that he had added a special message alert tone. The song he had picked spoke volumes to me, and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

**Thanks for letting me know. Glad you're okay. Miss you. Love you. Nice choice on the ringtone. See you tomorrow? :)**

Tiredly I set the phone to vibrate when there wasn't an immediate response. I figured he was tired as well, and after what had to have been a difficult conversation with his sister, I didn't really expect him to text back until the next day. I fell asleep quickly, much more easily than the night before.

As if he had known what I was thinking, there was a message waiting for me when I woke up Monday morning.

**Count on it, babe. xo**

I looked at the time, hoping he was already awake.

**I am. ;) See you later at practice. Miss you.**

Setting the phone back down, I proceeded to get dressed and begin the morning.

James was cranky and didn't want to get up. I told him in no uncertain terms that after practice and dinner, he was heading straight to bed. I would not deal with his tired attitude again tomorrow morning. He seemed to settle down a little once he ate breakfast which reminded me of Edward back in high school. He could be irritable in the morning before he ate, as well.

After dropping James off at school, I found myself stuck in horrible morning traffic though even that could not wipe the happy smile off my face.

When I got into work, my smile was soon replaced with an annoying headache. It seemed every patient was late for their appointment which caused me to skip lunch. The line-up of patients would take me far into the afternoon, so I called Seth to make arrangements for James and practice.

I was tired and hungry by the time I finally left the office, over forty-five minutes later than usual. I had not heard anything from Edward during the day, which in my current crankiness irritated me slightly. I knew he was busy but I had expected him to text me at some point.

The only person to call had been Seth. He just wanted me to know that he had picked up James from the after school program and that they would both meet me at practice. I had hoped to see Edward beforehand, but as it turned out, they were already in the midst of things when I arrived. I looked around and once I found Seth, I sat down next to him. He smiled at me, not saying a word, before refocusing on the kids playing on the field.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"Nothing," he smirked. "You okay?"

"Yep. I'm fine."

"Good, good. Just wanted to make sure this guy is treating you right."

I rolled my eyes. "There's nothing to worry about."

"Just making sure, ya know. Dude shows up out of nowhere and you get all starry-eyed. I've never seen you like this, not even with Jacob."

I blushed, not really knowing how to answer that insinuation. I didn't want to hurt his feelings by confirming his unvoiced question, even though the answer was a resounding no. I had never loved my late husband the way I loved Edward.

Seth was looking at me intently. "So, what's the story, Bella?"

I returned his stare evenly. "This really isn't a conversation for the ball field but I don't want things to get awkward between us. There's a lot of history there, and I didn't feel comfortable telling you about that part of my past. Though, didn't Edward already tell you? You two looked awfully cozy yesterday."

I couldn't help the sarcastic tone in my voice when I said that last bit and Seth gaped at me, incredulous.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Bella, the man was pissed to hear that you referred to the two of you as 'old friends'. He told me you guys dated in high school so obviously, you were more than just friends. I'm just trying to get some clarification here. I assumed he dumped you but he made it sound like he'd been all broken up over you for quite a while."

"He said that?"

"Well, not in so many words, but yeah, he pretty much insinuated that. Is it true?"

I looked at the ground, shame and guilt creeping up inside, and nodded. "Yeah."

"What happened?"

I shook my head. "It's a really long story that makes me look really bad, and I would rather not dissect it with you. Suffice it to say that Edward and I are trying to start over. I never really got over him, and it seems he didn't either."

"What about James?"

I glared at him, angry that he seemed to be questioning my commitment to my child. "What about _my_ son?"

"Easy, Bella. I'm just a little worried about how this is gonna affect him, that's all."

"He is my _first_ priority," I hissed, trying to keep my voice low. "Do not think for one minute that I would ever put a man before my child."

Seth held up his hands in defense. "Jeez, chillax, girl. What's gotten into you? I'm on your side, remember? My concern is for the both of you."

I took a deep breath and looked at him pleadingly. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Look, can we talk about this later? This really isn't the place."

He stared at me for a moment, searching my face, then nodded. "Yeah. Okay. You're right. You and James are family. I just want to make sure you guys are okay."

I squeezed his knee reassuringly and smiled at him. "We will be."

He shrugged. "Okay. That's all I need to know."

I didn't reply, and we both returned to watching the kids. James was laughing about something Jasper said as they got ready to go through another drill. It warmed my heart to see my son make friends, especially with Edward's nephew, considering that if things went the way I hoped, the two boys would be cousins of sorts at some point in the future.

I was incredibly curious about what Edward had said to his sister the night before. Surreptitiously, I looked around to see if she was at the fields and suddenly caught sight of her. Before I could turn and look in the opposite direction, Rose caught my eye and gave me a vicious glare.

That said it all.

"Whoa, what was that death stare all about?" Seth asked quietly.

"Long story," I mumbled under my breath.

"Who is that?"

"Edward's sister."

He was silent for a moment, and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. The pieces must have fallen into place because Seth turned to me with a smirk.

"Guess when you said this long story made you look bad, you weren't kidding."

"Just drop it, okay?"

"Sure, sure. Just tell me if I need to be worried about your health."

"I'm sure it won't come to that," I muttered. "At least, I hope so."

Seth nodded, remaining quiet until Rose shot me another ghastly look just as practice ended.

"She sure has it in for you."

"I'm aware."

"All that over a high school romance gone bad? Seems excessive."

"You don't know the half of it."

Just then James ran over, effectively ending that conversation.

"Hey, Mom. Can I stay for a little longer? Coach Emmett asked me to help put the stuff away and Jasper wants to play for a bit."

I ruffled his hair. "Yeah, sure. Have fun."

With a happy squeal, he ran off again. It wasn't much later that Edward strode over, putting an arm around my shoulder and pulling me close. I wrapped one arm around his waist as we stood next to each other. He kissed the top of my head before speaking quietly.

"I noticed my sister. She actually wasn't too bad," he chuckled into my hair.

"That's because the looks weren't aimed at you."

"True, but believe me – I got the worst of it last night. She is tame today."

"If you say so," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, Seth," he said, "good seeing you, man. You doing okay?"

"Yep, can't complain. What's the deal with your sister?"

Edward gaped at him for a second but caught himself quickly. "Uh...long story."

"That's what she said," Seth smirked, pointing at me. "Am I ever gonna hear this long story?"

"Maybe some other time," I interjected, looking around to see where Rose had gone. I found her standing by the fence, talking to some of the other moms but shooting glares at me whenever she could.

Edward bent down to whisper into my ear as he squeezed my shoulders. "Don't let it bother you, sweetheart. She'll come around."

"Will she?" I replied, doubting his optimism. "Doesn't look that way."

Edward shot a glare at Rose just as she was leveling me with one of hers. As soon as he caught her eyes, she looked away and then turned her back on us.

Unwilling to let her antagonism mar my time with Edward, I gazed up at him, forcing a smile onto my face.

"You gonna join us for dinner?"

"Sure,"he said with a grin. "You cooking?"

"That's the plan. Nothing fancy, though. James still has to do homework, too."

"That's fine."

I turned to my brother-in-law.

"Seth, you coming, too?"

He nodded and winked. "You know I'm always up for a free dinner. Does it include a story?"

I groaned as Edward chuckled next to me.

"Persistent little fucker, aren't you?"

Seth laughed out loud. "Looks like I'm not the only one."

Edward laughed. "Good point."

I simply shook my head at their antics, happy that they were getting along. Seth had been a big part of my life for a long time and his reaction had worried me just as much as James' had.

As usual, it seemed I had been worried over nothing.

* * *

**Endnote:** That's all for now. Thank you for reading. Please leave a review.


	7. Growing Pains

**Author's Note: **And we're back. In the same room. Which is why you're getting a new chapter. We've said it before...it seems that we write best when together. Airlines, rejoice.

All kidding aside, this latest chapter finds our favorite couple around six weeks down the road. They are progressing nicely, for the most part.

**Disclaimer:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. Damn it! The BD pics in the latest EW magazine were lovely, though. Yeah, we don't own that either. Fuck!

Much thanks and love to our respective husbands who let us play when we want to.

On with it.

* * *

**7. Growing Pains**

As the days and weeks passed by, Edward and I fell into a comfortable, relaxed routine. On the days James had practice, Edward usually joined us for dinner, occasionally accompanied by Seth. It warmed my heart to watch them together as an easy friendship began to develop. On the days in between, Edward and I texted each other periodically during the day and spent many an evening chatting away on Google chat or on the phone. Those were some interesting conversations indeed.

On weekends, we spent most of our time together, mostly at my house, to make it easier for Seth. Edward never spent the night.

James had yet to ask me why his football coach spent so much time with us and I was somewhat dreading that conversation. Thankfully, Edward hadn't asked me to clarify our relationship status with my son but I knew it would happen sooner or later.

Before I realized it, Labor Day was fast approaching. I was reminded of the upcoming holiday when James came up to me one day at dinner. We had just gotten home from practice; Edward had been unable to join us because of a coaches' meeting.

"Mom, guess what? Jasper said I could come to his house for a cookout on Sunday and then stay over. Is that okay? Please? There's no school on Monday. Please, Mom?"

James was so excited, he could barely contain himself. I knew he and Jasper had become friends, but I hadn't realized their friendship had extended beyond the football field. James had never asked to go to Emmett and Rosalie's house before, and it broke my heart that I would have to tell him no this time. I was fairly certain that the boys had not cleared their plans with any of us before making them, and while Rose had continued her death glares whenever Edward wasn't looking, at least she hadn't approached me. Still, I didn't think she would appreciate her son befriending mine to the extent of having James over to play.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," I replied. James' face fell so I quickly added, "Why don't you invite Jasper to our house?"

"Mom," James whined. "Everybody on the team is coming and Coach Emmett said I could."

I quirked a eyebrow at my son curiously. "Did he now? Let me think about it."

James made a face and I gave him the look that said if he continued I would say no immediately; that stopped his outburst before it even began. I needed to talk with Edward. If several of the boys were attending, I wondered if he was as well. I didn't really want to discuss it while James was around so I sent Edward a text after sending James upstairs to start his bath.

**I hear there's a barbeque on Sunday? - B**

I set the phone down, but before I was even a few steps away, the phone alerted me to a text from Edward.

**Yeah. Team party at Emmett's. You and James are coming, right? - E**

I read the message a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Edward must have lost his mind. It was one thing for James to go. I doubted Rose would do anything so mean and hateful as to exclude James, but it was another matter entirely for her to accept me into her house.

**Not sure this is a good idea. - B**

I watched as the phone sent my text. Edward must have been waiting because it seemed his response was immediate.

**James is part of the team. He should be there. Didn't you get the email from Rose? Went to all the parents. - E**

I stared at that last message for a moment before I hastily booted up my laptop to check email. I didn't recall one extending a barbeque invitation but maybe I had missed it. Quickly, it became obvious that I hadn't received any email.

**No email here. Don't think it was sent to me. - B**

Edward's response was fast.

**I'm sorry. I'll take care of it. Pls plan on coming. - E**

I had a hard time believing that being left off a team email was unintentional but I would let Edward deal with his sister. The fact that she had excluded my kid from the invitation to spite me however sealed the deal for me – I wasn't going to penalize James and would let him attend, but there was no way in hell that I would be there for it.

The last confrontation at the ballpark was enough for me and I wasn't going to give Rosalie an opportunity for a repeat performance. Maybe Edward wouldn't mind taking James for the party.

Unwilling to have this conversation via text messages, I fired off another one asking him to call me after his meeting.

**Pls call me when you're done. - B xo**

**K. ILY - E**

I put the phone on the charger and went upstairs to get James ready for bed. Once he was down, I went to my bedroom to take a shower and change into pajamas, before going back downstairs to settle in front of the TV for a while. I had just sat down on the couch when there was a knock on the door.

Edward stood outside, his hair wild and his eyes anxious, pushing me into the house before shutting the door behind him and pulling me into his arms. There was fear in his eyes and I was confused.

"What's the matter, Edward?"

"Jesus, Bella – I called four times but you didn't answer your phone. I was worried..."

"Oh crap, I'm sorry. The battery was low. I didn't expect you to be done so early. Why were you worried? You knew I was home."

He exhaled into my hair. "You can't do that to me. Do you have any idea what I've been thinking?"

I sighed, starting to get slightly irritated. "Yeah, I can imagine. Are we ever going to get past that irrational fear, Edward? What is it going to take for you to believe me that I will not run from you again?"

"Shit, I'm sorry. It's a gut reaction. I know it's irrational but I can't help it." He stepped back and released me.

"I called my sister. She admitted to leaving you off the email list for the party and I about ripped her a new one. I thought...fuck, Bella, I thought that you were mad and had decided that it just wasn't worth it. I know it's bothering you but I don't know what else to do with her."

I led him to the couch and sat him down before crawling into his lap, running my fingers through his hair to smooth it down and calm him. I was a lot angrier than I let on – while I had expected Rosalie to continue her 'get rid of Bella' campaign, she had now fucked with my kid, and that just wasn't going to fly.

"Look," I said gently, struggling and mostly succeeding in keeping my voice low and even. "I know you want your sister to come around, but if _you_ still think that I'm going to leave, even after knowing the whole story, how can you expect _her_ to believe in us? When you obviously don't? What did you think tonight – she intentionally didn't invite my son so I'm gonna pack my shit and leave? I would think that you know better than that by now."

Edward closed his eyes and let his head fall against the back of the couch.

"That's exactly what I thought. Fuck, I _know_ it's stupid."

I nodded. "And we knew this was likely to happen."

"Yeah, well, it's fucking pissing me off. Why can't she just be happy for me?"

I snorted. "Because she hates my guts and she's convinced I'm going to hurt you again. Besides, if you think about it...this is nothing new. She tried this once before, didn't she? The difference is that I now know better and I won't let her chase me away. I'm not that insecure little girl anymore."

He relaxed slightly but his arms tightened around me. His eyes opened and searched my face.

"I need you, Bella."

"I know. You have me. And you can take James to the party, if you like. I'm not going."

"What? Why not?"

I shook my head at him. "Edward, don't be so dense. She obviously doesn't want me there – why else would she have left me off the email? And why should I put myself in that kind of situation?"

"The party is for all the kids and their parents. That includes you."

"Maybe so. And if this was in a neutral location, I might consider it. It's bad enough at the ballfield, with the scathing looks, but I can ignore her there and walk away. It's slightly different to willingly enter the lion's den knowing I'm the prey."

Edward gave me a small smile. "Yeah, I guess I can understand that. I wish she'd get over it though."

"You and me both," I replied lightly. "Let's not worry about it for now, okay?"

"Okay. Can I kiss you now?"

I laughed. "Yes, please."

Neither of us talked much after that, instead spending the next thirty minutes or so getting lost in each other, with languid, wet kisses, soft caresses and happy moans. Too soon, it was time for Edward to leave but not before he promised to come over for dinner the next night.

He must have called his sister again because the two days later I received an email from Rosalie.

_Mrs. Black, _

_As you know, Emmett and I are hosting a labor day team party on Sunday. We are supplying burgers and hotdogs and the boys' parents are bringing various side dishes. Also, Jasper has asked if James could spend the night. Despite our differences, I am not going to hold a grudge against your child. If you're agreeable, he is welcome to stay. Please let me know what you'll bring to the party and if I can expect your son to stay for the night. If so, we will arrange a pick-up after breakfast on Monday. _

_Thanks,_

_Rosalie McCarty_

I wanted to throw my laptop out the window after reading that email. Even though I was glad to see that she had indicated that James wasn't going to be exposed to her Wicked Witch of the West behavior, the greeting alone spoke volumes, but I wasn't going to let that woman stand in the way of my happiness. Edward had repeatedly told me that he wanted me, and I was going to believe that he would not let his sister convince him otherwise.

My heart didn't leave me any other choice.

And I was just about pissed off enough now to attend that party after all. I would show Rosalie Masen McCarty that I while she may have intimidated me into leaving when I was a stupid teenager, I wasn't going to let her chase me out of town again.

_Bring it, bitch. _

It was high time I grew some balls. I texted Edward to let him know that I would be going to the party, asking him if he would pick up not only my son, but me as well. His response was immediate.

**Yes! - E xo**

Smiling, I composed a reply to the email.

_Mrs. McCarty,_

_Thank you for your kind invitation. My son and I will be attending the party. I will make a macaroni salad to bring with us. James would also like to spend the night. _

_Please note that it will be his first sleepover so if there is any problem, please contact me. My number is 904-555-4587. _

_Thank you._

_Isabella Black_

I clicked send and shut off my laptop, feeling like a weight had lifted from my mind. Rosalie Masen McCarty could kiss my ass.

Edward picked us up on Sunday morning for breakfast. Afterward, he invited us to his house where he and James played the Wii for a while during which I used his kitchen to make the salad I'd promised. Soon thereafter we headed to his sister's house.

James was chatting excitedly in the backseat, talking with his hands and smiling widely. I held the bowl with the macaroni salad in my lap, drumming my fingers on the metal bowl. Edward laid a hand on my knee and squeezed.

"Calm down, babe. It'll be fine."

"Sure, sure."

When we arrived at the house, James jumped out of the car as soon as Edward opened the door and stepped out. He was running towards the open gate on the side of the house and disappeared into the backyard before I had a chance to get out and stop him.

"James, take your shirt off before jumping in the pool," I shouted after him. I hoped he'd heard me.

Edward laughed. "Little anxious, is he?"

He walked around the car to open the door for me and took the bowl from my hands so I could get out. Holding the bowl with one hand, he pushed the lock pin down and shut the car door, then grabbed my hand and pulled me along the grass to the gate.

It seemed like Edward was going in guns blazing, making a bold statement that we were a couple. I wondered briefly if that was the right approach to his sister and her bitch friends but I trusted his judgment.

I squeezed his hand and he looked at me.

"I love you," I said quietly. His eyes crinkled when he smiled.

"Love you, too." He pecked my lips in a quick kiss. "Come on, let's do this."

We entered the backyard hand in hand, stopping to deposit the bowl on the large table that sat off to the side. One of the other moms, Victoria, was arranging the food. She and I had been chatting on occasion at the ballpark. She didn't seem to be one of Rosalie's friends and had actually been quite cordial to me from the start.

"What yummy food did you guys bring?" She smiled at Edward and me as he handed her the bowl, raising an eyebrow when her eyes fell to our clasped hands.

I smiled in return. "Just some macaroni salad, one of James' favorites. Do you need some help with anything?"

"Thanks but I think I've got it."

Edward let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me against his hard body. "I guess we'll go mingle."

There were kids everywhere, running around the yard, jumping into the pool. The adults were standing in groups or sitting around the pool area, keeping a watchful eye on the kids. I could see James and Jasper playing on the poolside basketball net.

Edward called out a hello to his brother-in-law who was right smack in the middle of the mayhem with a huge smile on his face.

"Hey," he shouted at us. "Glad you could make it. Find a chair if you can."

I looked around and saw Rosalie step out of the house with a plate full of hamburgers and hot dogs. When she spotted us, the smile on her face changed to a frown and her eyes narrowed as she glared at us. Edward hissed quietly beside me and then tugged me towards the other end of the pool where a few chairs had not yet been claimed.

"Here, sit down, babe. I'll be right back."

"Don't, Edward. It doesn't bother me. I'm fine."

His hand tightened on my shoulder. "Yeah, well, it bothers _me_. Let me take care of this, alright? I want you to be comfortable here."

I acquiesced. "Okay. Just, please – don't make a scene. Not in front of the kids."

"No worries, I won't." He bent down to kiss my temple and then went in search of his sister.

I watched him go inside the house and then turned my attention to the pool. James waved when he spotted me.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hi, Ms. Bella," Jasper shouted.

I smiled at them, happy that my son had found a friend. Jasper seemed like a good kid and James was enjoying himself. They were tossing the ball back and forth, taking turns to slam-dunk it through the hoop that was attached to the side of the pool.

A shadow fell over me and when I looked up, Victoria took the seat next to mine. She winked.

"So, you and Edward, huh? When did that happen?"

I was taken a little aback by the blunt question. We weren't that close and I wondered if there was some kind of ulterior motive behind it.

"Fairly recently," I said simply, forcing a smile on my face. I certainly wasn't going to tell her anything about our history – it was none of her business. I kept my eyes on my son, smiling when I saw the grin that nearly split his face in half.

"Hmm," Victoria mused, "I hope you don't mind me asking but I'm curious. How did you manage to capture the attention of the elusive Edward Masen? In the two years my kid's been playing football on his team, I've never seen him with a woman."

I turned my head and stared at her hard. "Excuse me?"

She giggled. "Oh honey, don't be offended. I was just wondering how you got him to defrost, that's all."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"Well, let me put it this way...there are a few single moms that have tried to get closer to him but they all failed. He wasn't interested, and here you are, a couple of months after moving to town, snatching him up. I'm just being nosy. Word gets around between the moms, you know?"

She laughed coyly. "Not that I tried, but I've heard the rumors."

"I see," I replied. "Well, truth is I knew him in high school. Him and his sister both. I grew up in Jacksonville."

"Oh, so you're rekindling an old flame?"

I surreptitiously looked around, searching for Edward. I wasn't feeling comfortable with this unexpected interrogation and I also didn't want Victoria to spread any rumors about me or Edward. She seemed like the type that thrived on gossip.

"Something like that," I answered as Edward stepped out of the house. Our eyes connected and his widened as he saw who was sitting next to me. He started to make his way over to me, dodging kids and adults on his path.

"Rose doesn't seem to be too fond of the idea of you hooking up with her brother though," she remarked, with a suddenly snide tone in her voice. "If looks could kill, and all that. Just saying. Seems to me like there's more to this story."

I shrugged as Edward reached us. He glared at the redhead.

"Everything okay, Bella?"

I nodded, unwilling to cause a scene. "Yes, fine."

"Good," he said, running the back of his hand over my cheek. "Food's almost ready. You hungry?"

He completely ignored Victoria who seemingly got the message and with a huff, got up from the chair. "Nice talking to you, Bella. See ya later."

She threw a smirk at Edward before walking off. Edward sat down in the now empty chair.

"I swear, that woman is a goddamn nuisance. What did she want?"

"Just idle gossip," I replied. "She asked me how I managed to snatch you up when all others failed."

Edward groaned. "Ugh, she asked me out the first season her kid played. I told her I wasn't interested."

"None of the others interested you either?"

"Not really, no. Too complicated."

I stared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He leaned closer. "I coach these kids. I'm not gonna complicate that by fucking their mothers."

I sat back, surprised by his bluntness and his language.

Edward sighed and ran his hand through his hair in exasperation. "Look, we talked about this. I wasn't interested in relationships because I still loved you. And a one-night stand with one of the kids' moms would have been really awkward afterward. So no, I shot them all down."

"Well," I said slowly, "that's...good. She's very nosy."

"What did you tell her?"

I shrugged. "Just that I knew you and Rose in high school."

"Just be careful, okay?" he muttered. "Rose told me a few things about that woman. She's one of the worst of the bunch."

"Speaking of Rose..." I said meaningfully.

Edward sighed. "She promised to back off."

I exhaled down my nose. I supposed that was all we could ask for at this point. Time would perhaps prove to Rosalie that I was sincere.

"Food's ready," Emmett's voice boomed across the yard.

"Alright. Shall we eat?"

"Yes," Edward agreed quickly. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

I laughed. "Let me just get James out of the pool. He needs to eat, too."

"I got his stuff from the car. His towel is over there." He pointed to an area near the pool.

"Oh, thanks." I turned to my son. "James, time to come out and eat."

After we ate, Emmett and Edward gathered the boys and threw the football with them. I sat off to the side, chatting with a few of the parents and watched as Edward's shirt became dark with sweat. My pulse began to race and I started to squirm a little in my seat.

As usual, Edward caught on quickly, smirking and winking in my direction a few times. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I looked at Edward meaningfully and he grinned before handing the ball to one of the boys and coming over, squatting down beside me.

"Ready to head out?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I would like to talk to Rosalie or Emmett before we leave though. Just making sure about James, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll come with you," he offered.

"No, no," I said, "keep playing. I can talk to Rosalie."

He tilted his head and looked at me questioningly. "You sure?"

"Yep. It's fine."

"Okay, come get me when you're done."

He ran off again, snatching the ball from Emmett as he went. I got up and set off to find his sister. I found her with the mothers she usually hung out with. When she saw me approach, she got up and walked toward me.

"Did you need something, Isabella?" Her demeanor was cold but I was unsurprised.

I forced myself to remain calm. "Yes, Edward and I are getting ready to leave and I wanted to make sure that it's still okay for James to spend the night."

"Yes, he can stay. Anything else?"

"When should I come by to pick him up?"

"Noon should be fine," she replied.

"Okay. You've got my number if he needs anything. His clothes are in his bag out on the patio, pajamas and shorts and a shirt for tomorrow. Thanks, Rosalie, for letting him stay. He's been looking forward to this all weekend."

"Jasper was, too. He likes James."

"Oh, okay. Well, thanks again. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

With that I turned to find my son to let him know I was leaving. As I began to walk away, I heard Rose mutter behind me.

"You break my brother again, I'm gonna kill you."

I whirled around and leveled her with a hard glare. "I won't."

"Yeah, I'll believe that when hell freezes over," she sneered.

"I suggest you start taking skiing lessons, then," I retorted before turning away again and walking off.

I found James and told him that I was heading out. He didn't seem fazed at all and with a quick hug good-bye he ran off again.

"Behave and listen to Mr. Emmett and Ms. Rosalie," I admonished loudly. "I'll pick you up after breakfast tomorrow."

"'kay, Mom."

Still a little anxious about leaving him, I folded my arms over my chest as I watched him play and shout with the other boys, my heart warmed by the fact that he had found new friends so quickly. Edward had come up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned back against him as he nuzzled against my cheek.

"Come on, let's go. I got plans for you."

I giggled. "Oh, really?"

"Yep," he laughed. "Wicked plans that will keep you up all night."

I liked the sound of that. With another look at James, I let Edward drag me to his car.

EPOV

I couldn't get us home fast enough, eagerly looking forward to spending uninterrupted time with my girl. Bella sat in the passenger seat, her body language tense and a little nervous.

"He'll be fine," I tried to assure her, guessing at what she was anxious about. "He seemed to really enjoy himself and I'm sure that neither Emmett nor my sister will let anything bad happen to him."

"Yeah, I know," she replied. "It's just...this is the first time he's sleeping over at someone's house that is not family."

I glanced at her, fighting down the nausea at that comment and trying to keep calm even though I was fairly convinced she hadn't meant it the way it sounded. "They're _my_ family, Bella. And if all goes according to plan, they'll be yours soon enough."

"That's not what I meant," she replied quickly. "Though I appreciate the sentiment. And I want that, too. I'm just a little worried. Not so much about your sister, really, but about James. He's only ever stayed with Seth or his grand-parents. So this is new to him, and I'm just hoping he'll be alright in the middle of the night. That's all."

I exhaled and chastised myself for immediately jumping to conclusions. "Right. I didn't look at it that way. Sorry. But you gave Rose your cell number, right? So if he does wake up scared, she'd call. And we can go get him, if he wants us to."

"True," Bella agreed. "I'm just being a worried mom, I guess. He's been my whole life for so long..."

"I know, sweetie," I said calmly, "but you are not alone anymore now. I'm here. I want you both in my life, for good."

I watch her chest deflate as she exhaled loudly and the tension slowly seeped out of her. "I know. You don't know how good that feels."

I reached over to squeeze her knee. "So..." I started, "uhm...when do you think you'll be ready to tell him that we're more than friends?"

Her head turned to mine as I pulled into my driveway and then the garage. I stopped the car and looked at her fully. She was quiet for a long moment as I shut off the engine and then she shifted in the seat to turn toward me.

"I hadn't really thought about it, to be honest. He hasn't really questioned why you spend so much time with us and I haven't really said anything to him either. I've been happy to just let things progress naturally."

I scratched my head. "I think it might be better if we told him before he starts to question it. I mean, I'd like us to be proactive about it. And to be honest, I wanna be able to kiss you without having to worry about him catching us and not knowing what's going on."

Bella smiled a little. "Well, considering that you held my hand as we walked into your sister's backyard, in front of all those parents, and put your arm around my shoulder – that sent a pretty clear message, right?"

"I think James was too busy yanking his shirt off and jumping in the pool to notice. But that's not why I held your hand, babe."

"I know that, silly. It made me feel comfortable, actually. It didn't feel weird and it didn't occur to me to worry about James seeing at that moment."

That was encouraging and I pressed her further. "Good. So...will you tell him?"

"Can we go inside? The car is getting hot."

I sighed. "Yeah, okay. But you will answer, right?"

Bella opened the door and grinned at me before getting out. "Maybe."

If she hadn't winked at me, I wouldn't have known she was teasing. Since she did right before slamming the door, I was out of the car in seconds, running after her as she dashed into the house, squealing when I caught her and threw her over my shoulder before depositing her on the couch and crawling on top of her.

And then I kissed her. That was the end of all rational thought before our clothes starting flying and our hands started roaming and when I finally sheathed myself deeply inside her, slamming into her over and over, neither one of us was able to form any sensible words. I claimed her with a ferocity that was echoed and encouraged by the way her heels pressed into my ass to pull me in deeper.

Panting into each others' mouths, we found our releases at the same time, and with a loud grunt, I blew my load as she milked my dick of every drop I had to give. When we returned to earth, we were a sweaty heap of tangled limbs.

I was still panting, trying to hold myself up enough so I wouldn't crush her, still semi-hard inside her, when Bella pushed the wet strands of my hair from my forehead.

"Well," she grinned, "just so you know – even after we tell James, there's no way we do this at my house when he's home."

I chuckled. "Aw, shucks. Really?"

Bella giggled and smacked my arm. "You oaf. Stop it."

I wiggled my eyebrows. "Shower?"

She nodded. "Yes, please. You got me all sweaty."

"It was my pleasure." I grinned widely as I pushed my chest down a little and moved it left to right across her skin. "I know how much that turns you on."

"Ugh," she groaned, "you're such a cocky bastard sometimes. Now get off me and take me to the shower."

I laughed out loud. "Yes, ma'am."

I pulled out slowly, my dick fully flaccid now, and she hissed. Bella jumped off the couch and quickly made her way to the bathroom while I stared at the wet spot for a moment, running my hand through my hair. I hadn't thought of that result but couldn't find it in me to care.

It had been _so_ fucking worth it.

I followed Bella to the bathroom where I found her already under the water. I joined her quickly, squeezing a little shampoo into my hands, and started washing her hair.

Yes, I had stocked up on her favorites in anticipation for when she would stay over.

Fucking sue me.

Bella moaned softly as I massaged her scalp, leaning her back into my chest. I rinsed out the shampoo and applied a generous amount of her shower gel to the loofah and then proceeded to wash her whole body, paying special attention to her tits and the holy land between her legs.

My dick took notice of the sounds she was emitting, rising to the occasion, and she reached between us to wrap her fingers around my swollen cock, pumping rhythmically.

"Fuck, Bella..."

"Yes, please," she panted, her head falling against my chest, "fuck Bella."

I had her pushed against the shower wall in no time flat, with her legs spread and my rigid length buried inside her again. My lips found her neck while my fingers played with her clit and when she tightened around me, I followed right behind her.

"Fuuuuck..."

Exhausted and with shaking knees, I slid out, catching her as she stumbled against me.

"Holy shit," she croaked.

I chuckled. "Sorry. I just can't seem to get enough of you, babe."

I had so much time to make up for, and none of my previous sexcapades had ever been as good and satisfying as making love to my Bella.

"I'm not complaining," she giggled. "That was..."

"Fantastic? Mind-blowing? Best you ever had?"

She rolled her eyes. "All of the above, of course."

I laughed as the water turned cold and she squealed. "Shit, let's get out of here."

I turned the water off and wrapped her in one of my towels before grabbing my own to dry off. I dressed quickly while she remained in the bathroom with the door open.

"I'll go grab your bag, honey," I offered from the bedroom. "It's still in the car."

"Okay," she replied as I left the room. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

When I came back to the room, she was wearing one of my old college shirts and nothing else. Her back was turned, looking at the pictures on my dresser; the name Masen was prominently displayed on her back. I wasn't gonna lie – it brought out the caveman in me to see my name on her like that.

_Fucking mine_.

"Jesus, Bella," I exclaimed when Junior started to stir again. "I'm thirty-three and you have me feeling like a horny teenager. Seeing you in my shirt like that..."

"Well," she drawled as she turned around, a teasing smile on her face. "I couldn't help myself. I hope you don't mind."

I choked on a laugh. "Not at all. Feel free to wear whatever you like. Or nothing at all."

Bella giggled again and came over to take her bag. She walked to the bed, depositing it there and pulled a pair of skimpy panties and a pair of gym shorts out, wiggling her ass as she put on both.

I cleared my throat and willed my dick to shrink. Fucker didn't listen. "Uh...yeah...so...how about a cold beer? We can sit on the porch and maybe...uh...talk some more?"

"Sure," she agreed easily. "That'd be nice. Let me just brush my hair and I'll meet you there."

"Okay," I smiled before heading to the kitchen. I took two bottles out of the fridge, popping the top of one before taking a long draft of the cool liquid, then opened the other and took both out to the back porch. I sat down in one of the chairs, waiting for Bella to join me.

The last few weeks had been incredible. We'd spent a lot of time together, mostly after football practice, having dinner at her house and I'd been working on getting closer to James and Seth as well. Bella and I texted during the day and spoke on the phone almost every night we couldn't be together, and our relationship had become easy and comfortable.

And still, I wasn't completely satisfied with how things were. The kid still didn't know and if I was honest with myself, I wanted her and her son to move in with me. Like, yesterday. And put a fucking ring on her finger and make them both mine for all the world to see.

There were still so many hurdles, though, my sister only being one of them. Bella hadn't been forthcoming about a lot of things, like how she could afford to live in one of Carlisle's properties while only working three days a week. No way in hell was her job paying enough to cover the rent on the townhouse she was living in and all her other expenses.

I worked for the guy. I knew most of his business, and the area Bella lived in was an upscale neighborhood of mostly new townhouses, with only a few being rented. Her monthly payment was likely about two-thirds of what she'd make as a nurse working for a doctor's office.

I wasn't stupid. A part-time job wouldn't pay enough so I deduced that she had additional income or funds available. I wasn't interested in her money, but it only drove home the point that I really didn't know enough about her life after our split.

And part of me wondered if she didn't trust me enough to tell me. The bits and pieces I had gotten out of her about her dead husband and how James came about wasn't really much to go on to get a full picture.

I loved Bella and I wanted her for the rest of my life. I was doing everything I could to prove that to her, but I needed something in return to let me know that my efforts were recognized and appreciated. I'd been open about every aspect of my life after we broke up and before she came back to me.

She hadn't yet afforded me that same courtesy. I needed that to move forward, to let us progress to where I wanted to be. So tonight I was going to ask her some very direct questions, hoping she'd trust me enough to provide some very direct answers.

We would see.

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**Endnote:** Until next time. Please let us know what you thought of this chapter - reviews are much appreciated.


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